Quinn loves to recite lines from "The True Story of the Three Little Pigs". He asks Luke or I to act as the wolf or pig and he takes on the other role. He's fabulous about acting out the part, knocking on the door and asking for sugar to make his grandmother's cake. He likes the idea of saying "No, go away Pig" or "Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin". He sounds so adorable sometimes when he's acting as the wolf and needing sugar for the cake, that I often agree and had over the sugar so he can make his imaginary cake:) Sweet boy.

He also likes to sing, "Let's go fly a kite... " but he loses some of the lines. From Jingle bells, he's adept at the dashing through the snow verse when he acts like he's tapping the musical sticks together. He was quite the adorable little boy at the sing along. He liked traveling up to the main floor of the dorm via the elevator, so much so that the next time I picked him up, he wanted to go upstairs to get a cookie, just like at the show. The show was very crowded and so there was little room for Quinn who sat squashed next to other kids. He didn't sing much, but at one point in the show, he did stand up, lift his shirt and show off his tummy. Nice:)

Quinn has taken to enjoying a stick of gum now and then. His Dad got him started on it on the route to school as a way to cover his breath:) He also very much likes chocolate covered pretzels, pudding, and suckers. The first time that I asked him what he wanted for Christmas he actually said "suckers" and then said toys. I was the one who sort of planted the kitchen idea, but he did very much want one, I think.

I am having terrible indigestion and heartburn problems. Following a rough day earlier this week, I haven't been able to eat normally and everything seems to affect me. Uggh. I am tired and worn down from being pregnant and worrying that my care for Quinn suffers because of it. I don't know if heading back to school will be a good thing or not. There's tons going on this month, much that I am in charge of. I have tons to do before I head back to school and all I want to do is sleep, feel well and spend quality time with my family.

Quinn is quite the active reader most nights now. I delight in watching him read to himself and recount the events of what is happening. He has a new book called Too Many Toys and there's a page with many images of people. Quinn points out a quite unattractive threesome that he labels Luke, Quinn and I. Odd and funny:)

My son is marvelously imperfect. Lately, there's a sassiness to how he may first speak to someone. When corrected, he adjusts his language so that he is nicer and more respectful, but there is certainly some element of bossiness:) Of course, I was titled Bossy Becky, so he comes by it naturally. Actually, I think the modeling is from school and more specifically, Quinn's BFF McCall. Having seen the two of them at the Chuck E Cheese party for ND a week or so ago, McCall wears the pants in that friendship. She leads and Quinn follows along:) Don't get me wrong, she's a sweet girl, but I theorize that there's a chance Quinn knows his role with McCall, but is eager to establish a powerful role in other segments of his life. And honestly, I don't want him to be a kid who does exactly as he is told in life, but I suppose I like when he listens well to me:)

Christmas was a fascinating affair. Quinn did pretty well with the advent calendars, though we know now not to use chocolate ones as they are too tempting. That was Grandma McCammon's deal, not ours:) We bought the sensible and probably extravagant Lego calendar and it day by day created a very cool village winter scene. Nice. Christmas morning came and we were excited to bring him down stairs at 7:30. Luke had stayed up late to build his kitchen and had all of the Santa gifts wrapped in hohoho paper, to distinguish it from the family paper. Quinn saw the lovely gifts and started to cry. Where was Santa, he wondered? He was devastated that the big man wasn't there to deliver the gifts themselves and had been more interested in seeing Santa in his own home than the gifts themselves. Needless to say, Luke and I both realized that perhaps we had needed to be more specific about Santa's plans and delivery method-- next year...

This year we didn't make the Macy's display, which was a bummer. The season was SO very busy that we just couldn't get downtown. He did go to the Breakfast with Santa with Grandma McCammon and Santa made an appearance at the Beck Christmas for Nicky and Quinn. With my Mom, he had to observe Santa from a distance for some time before he was ready to approach, but eventually he did. With the Beck's, he was unsure and quiet, but did sit on Santa's lap- eyeing him the whole time with some suspicion. The idea of Santa was alive and well in many of the films Quinn watched this holiday season though, including the excellent next Pixar short, Prep and Landing, The Santa Clause 2 and the classic Reindeer series Lana and Larry gave to us a year or so ago.

Quinn received a plethora of quality gifts and was keen on opening presents this year. We picked up a kitchen for him, a Buzz shirt, a Buzz and spaceship lego set, books, a Phinneus and Ferb movie and a winter ensemble. Believe me when I say that clothing is not a gift he cares much about getting, but he needed a new jacket, hat and we got him a cool scarf/neck wrap deal.

One of my favorite holiday moments of the season was on our way down for Christmas Eve dinner with the McCammon's. It had been a rough day and evening as Quinn had been up the previous night throwing up a ton. We were very careful with him the following day and when we had to eventually pack up and head to Burnsville, Quinn was deeply unhappy and crying a ton. After much protestation, we made it out the door. Luke was wise and put the holiday music radio station on and we made our way south. The song Feliz Navidad came on and Quinn was pleased and began to sing along. This was one of the songs from his preschool sing along, so it was nice to hear him sing some of the words since his performance at the school show was absent:) Anywho, the song comes to an end on the radio and Quinn wants to hear it again. Bless him for knowing that modern technology usually allows for repeat. In a parenting pinch, Luke and I turned the radio off and began to sing ourselves. Oh, the pain of our blended tones and pitches and a total lack of knowledge about the words. When we came to the Spanish section that wasn't Feliz Navidad, we both broke into pathetic humming... it was absolutely hilarious and wonderful.

As testament to Quinn's deep love of Star Wars, when we arrived at Ethan and Ellie's house yesterday for the Edberg Christmas celebration, he immediately found Ethan's light saber and carried it with him the whole day, even sitting with it at dinner. Right now, I can hear Quinn in the background, running about with his police stick, which he has turned into a gun-like weapon that sounds a great deal like a laser blaster from Star Wars:) For Christmas, he added a few new Star Wars lego kits to his collection and two Star Wars books. He also, compliments of Dad, had a Star Wars tree in his bedroom.

Familiar and common phrases: "Member, Mommy" or "Member, Daddy". There are many references to what we should recall or remember. "Told you" is another common phrase that alludes to our inability to keep up with Quinn's many realizations. We are also told on multiple occasions that "Member Mommy, told you..." and that paired phrase is quite nice:) He also now redirects us and says that Daddy told him something that could happen and that I should acquiesce. We aren't sure if this is an act of actual mischief or if he is trying to simply explain the other side and it sounds affirmative without meaning to.

We still very much like suckers, pizzas and going to Noodles and Company. The other day after coming back from the Beck's Christmas, we stopped at Noodles for dinner and for 50 some minutes, Quinn sat and ate and visited with us. His fruits are primarily red delicious apples and bananas, but he also has started eating my strawberry fruit snacks which is a cool move. I can hear him now in the background saying, "To the city and beyond" which actually translates to "To Infinity and Beyond" but we'll not mince words.

Due to his illness and the mayhem of some days, Quinn has delighted in wearing his pajamas well into the days. Right now he's wearing his new red snowman pajamas from Grandma Edberg and couldn't be cozier. He also had a dandy new pair of flannel-like Buzz pajamas from Nana and Papa. He also is the proud owner of a couple of pretty tacky looking Star Wars pj's, which he adores:) We are still remarkably content in diapers and when I say we, I mean Quinn. I don't mind him taking his time, but believe me, he is content in his pull ups:) I suppose his only point of discontent is that he sometimes would rather just putter along all day without having to change and it's annoying for him to have to stop for a change. Funny.

My son is still the most gentle and sweet little boy that I've ever known. It is not uncommon for him to take my hand as we're sitting next to each other and hold it. He likes very much to cuddle face to face and cup my cheeks in his hands. He will very gently rub my forearm or back without provocation and just to be sweet. The other evening he rained kisses on Dad and I, back and forth as he sat between us in the bed while we read stories. Truly, his affectionate and loving ways are one of my very favorite things about my marvy son. On the other end of the spectrum he remains a devoted light saber user and instructs people on how to stand and hold the instrument. When he just recently told me that there were imaginary mean guys in the living room, he told me I had to get my sword. He had his stick/gun. When I raised my hands with fists he told me that I couldn't fight with my hands:)

One hilarious moment recently came when we tried to watch Mary Poppins. He likes to sing the "Let's go fly a kite" song from the movie and it is one of Lana's favorites. The movie starts out with a darker screen and you can see the cloudy rooftops of buildings. That scene, to him, was scary. Now, he'll sit contented through the Clone Wars and not shirk, but MP is scary. Funny. To be fair though, he considers a number of things scary lately. Upstairs, when no one is up there, for example, is scary and the same with downstairs or even a darker room. We do our best to talk about how there isn't something scary there, but we also accompany him so that he feels safe.

Misc. notes: My son likes things to be zipped up nearly all the way when he wears them. There's no middle ground for him. Quinn has enjoyed ice cream with his breakfast at least 3 times in recent memory. Quinn went sledding for the first time with his cousins Ethan and Ellie at the Huber farm just yesterday. He liked it very much. He actually got a sled from Grandma Beck, but we haven't taken it out yet. It also lacks a rope attached to it, which is kind of a bummer because toting him around on snow isn't nearly the task if carrying him. I dragged Ethan, Ellie and Quinn around the farm yesterday and it was fun:)

Quinn is marvelous

I want Mommy. This phrase will often accompany Quinn when he is melting down and crying. However, this does not mean that he actually wants me. Instead, he craves a symbol of Mommy-like sympathy and goodness, someone who will not refuse him another window in his advent calendar or ice cream for breakfast. Not to be mistaken for a saint, my son has had ice cream for breakfast at least twice in his life, but always accompanied by some other substantive food item. Does that make it ok?:) This week was Quinn's first preschool program and it was the holiday sing along. Despite its apt title, Quinn did not actually sing along. He looked at Luke and I, mouthed the words "I want Mommy" and was generally taken with the large crowd of adults watching him and his friends. I think he was crowded next to his friends in a circle too small for them all and this meant that he didn't have the arm room for jingling bells or hitting sticks. And, my darling son is not the most assertive and didn't move his frame to get to a better position. Ah, Quinn. Luke and I invested in a lego advent calendar which has been quite fun to open. Star Wars remains the cat's meow in the house and he is often seen wearing his Star Wars jammies with his light saber attached to the top of his pajama pants. Quinn is quite the light saber expert nowadays and reminds me that I need to hold it with two hands and also that there are certain poses which allow him to "attack" in certain ways. Ah, the padewon in my son:)

A day for reflection

You want to be the catalyst for good. You want to inspire positivity. You want to be part of the reason your child prospers. Yesterday's visit to Quinn's preschool was a bit eye opening for me. I was meant to watch him in his normal classroom. Instead, it turned out to be gym day and I watched the arduous process of getting kids dressed, lined up in handholding pairs and walked across campus to the gym. My normally obedient and mellow son became someone a bit more impetuous and rebellious. It started small. Little things that he might do that weren't a big deal but that deviated from the teacher's directions, all done under the watchful eye of his mother. I didn't want to be his mother in this scenario and discipline him and I think he knew that. This was his territory. He ran from the group in the gym, inspiring others to run freely. He got upset on the return trip to the school because he wanted to run and then insisted on being carried by me. On our way back into the school for lunch, he determined that he wanted to hold the door open, even though another little boy has been assigned that task and then proceeded to weep in dismay because of that loss. His teachers had never seen him upset or acting this way. Ah, the influence of his mother. My conclusion is that with me there, he could be vulnerable and test bounds and assumed that I would advocate for him. His friends stared at him shocked while he cried because he's never cried at school. Wild. SO, I won't be returning to observe any time soon because he is more content to live in one world at a time. I was happy to see the patience and care of all his teachers and no one was rash or angry or frightening in his presence. I am glad for that. He has a sweet group of boys and girls that he is happy to call his friends. And, I feel quite sure that within five minutes from my departure, he was back to normal. I say this because he went on to eat almost his whole packed lunch. Luke and I had some good discussion about the day's events, though I should mention that none of what happened surprised Luke. I avoid situation where I have to discipline Quinn if I can. He has pretty good reason to think that if he wants something that I will try to make that happen- somehow. I don't think of myself as a total push over and Quinn remains physically safe in my presence, but he has a good deal of latitude with me and I need to reign that in- for his sake. I'd rather make changes now than when he's 16.

One terrific moment from yesterday was when I walked into our bedroom after Quinn's nap and saw Quinn and his Dad ticked into the bed with their chests showing above the sheets, reading a book together. The pair looked so content and so like one another that it warmed my heart. Quinn loves storytime and I love that he loves it:) See, I do some things right:) We've picked up some new books this week that are fun, though Quinn is newly in love with The Frog Prince continued and The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs. Luke tried to improv the actual 3 Little Pigs for Quinn last night so we has some sense of the original.

Quinn ate three bananas yesterday. Awesome.

Quinn's father is wonderful. Luke is the yin to my yang. Take for instance, his approach to bath time. Luke has taught Quinn how to pour water over his head to prep for washing his hair, how to scrub all his parts with soap and wash and rinse his hair. After Quinn's bath, Luke folded his little son into the towel and swung him around to the absolute delight of Quinn who then wanted to wrap me in a blanket and swing me. Not happening:) Though, Luke allowed him to try and we giggled at my lack of momentum. We all have our strengths and gifts and in Luke I see a person who is ready to teach his son new skills as often as Quinn is ready for them and I really like that. Goodness knows I have loads of patience for Quinn and oodles of love, as does Luke, but I must miss those windows when Quinn is ready to learn and grow up and Luke is keenly aware of them. Thank goodness we're a team!

It's been the first snowy week of the fall and Quinn needs new boots, new snow pants, essentially- the works. In some things, he's even sprouting into 4T clothes. Gracious.

I love storytime with Quinn. Even though I am sometimes exhausted from the day and ready to hit the sack I cannot resist him when he asks for more books. Plus, he's newly invested in linking the illustration to the words on the page and asks question after question about what he's seeing. In the past, he was content to hear our voices and passively follow the story- or so it appeared. It turns out he has passages and phrases memorized from most of his books:) Nowadays, he is very precise about wanting to understand cause and effect in the picture, characters and action. Nice:)

Quinn continues to love his Eggo pancakes and waffles, but he's a new fan of chicken tacos from Trader Joe's. He also continues to love suckers and his Halloween stash of candy provided a supply of M's, as he pronounces them. Alright, must get ready for school. More details about Quinn soon, I hope!

Quinn's voice makes me happy

I love the sound of Quinn's voice, especially at moments like this when I'm actually sitting in the dining room working (yes, I'm taking a break) on my stupid grad paper, while Quinn entertains himself with his legos and Wallace and Gromit in the background. I love the sound of his voice because it means he's manipulating character and creating something imaginative and fun with his mind. I glance into the room and he's got little lego men and women running up a lego piece that looks like lawn (or something). His ability to play solo is pretty astounding, not simply because it gives me time and space to do a sundry of things, but because his propensity to focus on something for a length of time without adult influence is growing and that kind of intellectual independence is awesome. Earlier, as I was napping, Quinn joined me for his nap. Even though I was awakened by his presence, I chose to feign sleep. Quinn snuggled in next to me and then, started breathing very loudly, on purpose. He placed his cheek next to mine and a lego figure started to dance along my upper chest. The heavy breathing continued until I woke up. Naturally, Quinn smiled and then he launched into an introduction to the lego figure on my chest. The little man had a treasure box and in it, he explained, was something for my birthday. Sweet boy. It only took about 3/4 of Horton Hatches an Egg and he was napping soundly:) Luke wants me to be better about putting Quinn's pants back on after I change Quinn's diapers. Usually, it's in the evening and I just let him run around pantless. He likes it and I get to see his cute little boy legs. Luke claims this is why he doesn't bring the camera out because our child is never clothed. Me, I have an image of Quinn's feet on the desktop of this computer, in addition to one where my naked son is sitting on Dad's lap (adorably). Must return to the paper.

My darling son

Ah, the adventures we have had. Sometimes I bask in his glory and know that I need to write more often about my brilliant one, but I mistakenly believe that I will remember more of what he does. Of course, this is a false truth because even as I write in this moment it is difficult for me to conjure anything except for a feeling that he is marvelous and good. One of his newest treats is that he likes to say things multiple times in a row. Usually this is a question and it's usually in 3's. He has also taken to laying down over one of the ottoman's until his face turns red from gravity and then he asks for help getting up. That, or he wants you to sit before him so he can see you from his upside down stance:) Last week without Luke was especially exhausting, but we pulled through despite a few moments where I was putting a kicking and reluctant child into his car seat. His new favorite shows are snippets of dinosaur train and word girl. He's a PBS boy more than ever nowadays and that's pretty cool. He's got the sweetest little red whistle now that makes funny noises when he exhales and inhales. He and I picked this up at Creative Kids Stuff this past Saturday when we met Tashy and Sidney for coffee. He managed to spill a ton down his front, but still looked adorable. Preschool continues to go well, even though he is exhausted in the evenings. His teachers report that he has good energy, a good group of friends and is very relaxed there. It's cool to have an exact measure of what he ate by looking at his lunch box. Here and there we have good potty moments. He peed on the pot last week, but the following morning was content to let me feed him his cereal in bed while he laid in a puddle of pee. Funny kid. Quinn likes granola bars, which is awesome and peanuts too. He is big into balloons and knows that when we pass Trader Joe's that that is the store where he gets a balloon. Morning sickness and general nausea has made me quite the picky eater and my nose is forever averse to certain scents, especially meat lately. I also have the gagging response to vitamins. Quinn and I continue to co-sleep and I was cheered to hear that my midwife nursed until her son was three and also coslept. At some point my dear boy will have to stop laying across my chest, but for now we're ok. Quinn likes the idea of me having two names, Mommy and Becky and that Daddy is also Luke. It doesn't make sense to him that he is Quinny and our son. He'll grasp that soon enough:) We recently had our screening at the Speech and Language Place. He tested on the low side of normal so we have to wait and see if insurance will approve therapy sessions. It would be great if they would for the additional support, though it is one more thing to add to our already busy week. Quinn didn't make it to boys class this week because I think he just wanted to stay home and chill. Poor kid.

Loving Quinn

Quinn can climb under our bed. He also likes to climb over and through the back of the head board and play in the space behind our bed. He will often climb under his own bed and lay on the fold out rocking chair and tell us he's going night night that way. He insists that we lay on the bed while he is underneath. When it comes to running or participation, Quinn is quick to give directions. He is also wonderful lately about introducing Luke and I to anyone he meets. "I'm Quinny. That's my Mommy. That's my Daddy," he'll say and introduce us. If more family is with us, he'll include them in the introduction too. He is becoming really engaging and social in a way that is new and fresh. His tendency to hang back and observe is recessing slightly and he's more likely to make a move sooner. He's still thoughtful and deliberative in his play, especially his alone time, which has become much more self-directed and fun to watch. He plays with his toys nowadays manipulating them, creating scenarios, etc. 'Course, there's often a lion or shark involved, but I think it's cool he has consistent players in his mind. With his puppy, he is caring enough to feed the dog and make sure it has a brushed coat. Though he sometimes wants his toys to fight, we do our best to talk about being kind and being friends. The first time he sees a national geographic film he might realize what I'm saying is a crock, but for now, it's a principle I like to model. He still loves swinging at the park and he's really adept at climbing. He can even walk himself up the plastic spiral slide at the park down the street. He is all about the moon. He knows about the moon at night and is so eager to point it out to us once he has found it in the sky. Very cool.

We're going to pick him up from Le Sueur today where he had a sleepover last night. LUke and I finished Season 2 of Dexter. Quinn has now had 4 overnights since May. I've never had a good night's sleep while he's away, at least in terms of hours. It takes me a really long time to fall asleep without him. I get anxious and worrisome. I appreciate and treasure the freedom to do things with Luke or for myself while Quinn is away, but in the end, Quinn is someone who I like to start and end my days with, just like his father.

His recent chatter is delightful to the ears. He has so much to say and often times, he becomes flummoxed because too much wants to come out of his mouth-- his mind is so alive with thoughts and wisdom. I love it.

My sweet, sweet son. He is getting very good about recounting his days to me. His memory is selective, but strong, and routines are a fundamental part of how he organizes his experiences. For example, yesterday Quinn and Dad went to get coffee. They always go to the Starbucks on Grand. Then, they walk to Creative Kids Stuff and Quinn knows that a visit for coffee means that he can go to the toy store. Quinn shared with me that the horse and barn he wanted yesterday he couldn't get because we didn't "have enough money", but he did manage to come home with a bear figurine, that is being called Brother Bear. Lately, we're all about our tools again and we continue to love our rocket and Little Einsteins. They play together and occasionally fight together, though we try to nip that in the bud. Lately, he seems perfectly content to play in his room with his toys. He still watches the occasional Ferb or, of late, Kungfu Panda, but he also focuses well during independent play time. I think he's going to really do well in preschool and his mind is ready for that kind of structure and exploration. We have our parent meeting tomorrow night and I am excited to learn more, meet other parents and get this new phase of his life rolling. Quinn fell asleep last night to Becky's Christmas, though that was after several readings of Swing, the cool book that has pictures that movie when you move the page back and forth. Quinn was all about hearing it several times last night. Dad's go to book, to get him down for nap is Horton. The longer ones allow for our voices to lull him to sleep, when all is going well. We continue with our bath, waffle, stories, bed routine and it seems to be working, though the bath sometimes energizes him. He has taken to running about fully naked. Yesterday he ran into the room and immediately began jumping about, full of smiles and energy. I could still see the streaks of white on his legs where the lotion hadn't fully been able to soak in. Funny boy. Quinn and I are sleeping in the big bed lately and Luke has taken up residency in the Star Wars bed. It just makes good sense to give Quinn the room he needs to stretch out. Often times I'll wake up and see him at an off angle, taking up a good 2/3 of the bed. One evening he ended up perpendicular to me somehow. I trust that we're not going to change the co-sleeping and the nursing in one big move so I just have to roll with it and thank my lucky stars that we were able to assume the big bed and leave the twin behind. In my new state, that additionally room and comfort is much appreciated. Quinn is all about suckers. I think the first place he got a sucker was at Kid's Hair. The second place they found their way into his heart and mouth was at the Children's Museum. Their gift shop has them and they became quite the regular snack for Quinn this summer when we attended. Now I've picked up a container of organic ones at Trader Joe's and he has one once a day. It may be fulfilling multiple needs and so I am ok with their use. As life goes, they will surely be replaced with an activity or be forgotten for some other reason. For now, that and him sucking his fingers is going to be ok:) Quinn is quite the singer. He definitely has that "end of the line" singing thing going. He hears that the best and so we can sing along. At the same time, he knows what he is hearing and the choreography for that line, say, in his vacation bible school songs. Hopefully whatever new car we manage to procure will have a cd player and we can make music a bigger part of our travel time. The latest dvd player has broken and so we're without visual stimulation:) Alas, 21st century kids CAN go without some of their 21st century influences. Must start getting ready for school. Off to 3 days of disciplinary literacy. Whoo hoo.

Luke's weekend away and more

If I only had the metabolism of my 14 year old self or of Quinn. He has such great instincts about food. If it tastes good, I'll eat it. If I'm hungry, I'll eat. The only emotional eating he does is nursing and the advantages to that are too numerous to count... so, I don't think of that as the boy sitting and eating ice cream, though he does love ice cream. Today he and I played with his ice cream set. We also did puzzles. He's becoming quiet adept at them, especially the train one. And, he was terrific about helping me pick up the puzzles when we were done. He's taken to remembering to say "bless you" when someone sneezes and I'm trying to work in the word "manners" into his vocabulary. We recently purchased a Clifford Manners book so we'll see how that goes. I should be modeling making his bed, but for now, I'm doing it myself. There's something very satisfactory to the orderliness of his room. The only thing I'd say is that we need to introduce to toys to him on a better rotation basis. Given the toy and the right mood, he'll play independently and happily for stretches of time, but typically things are so neatly appointed that we "expect" him to seek out new things. For example, he has this gorgeous easel from Makoto that isn't used very much because we haven't stocked it with anything interesting- no paper or crayons or markers. Must get better about this. I do love that Quinn takes enormous pride in selecting books for reading and he has taken to requesting more books at night if he's still awake and bored but I've turned out the light. He doesn't mind the longer ones, though I sometimes think the ones with fewer words on each page are more interesting to him. Either way, he likes to hear me read and is a good listener. We've gotten so that we can do the matching quite well with his Pixar book and he can find the images we seek. He does love that book:) Last night Quinn got his first Bob the Builder movie. He's been seeing a preview for it for a while now on his Wallace DVD and we finally indulged-- for the bargain price of $4.75. Mom will be picking Quinn up around 5 tonight. I hope tonight goes well. I worry that she won't be up for the late night calming, but I'll hope for the best:) I know that I will have a good time with my Asha sleepover:) Quinn had a delightful time running and playing with Riley and Ryan today when they came to pick up Luke for their weekend away. Quinn did very well with his good-bye and the house is nice and clean to start the big weekend. Speaking of, I should do some more laundry.

Ah balance.

For a while there, we were struggling with late nights and wacky long naps and a sometimes temperamental toddler. The last twp days we've been rocking the engaged parenting and had stellar bedtimes and naps. Now, it seems I've wiped out my poor son with TOO much to do. Goodness, where is the balance, Becky? I suppose I fear that if I stay at home, we'll simply watch tv or movies and so I get out of the house so that doesn't happen. But, as last night have proof of, my son just sometimes wants some quiet play time. At dinner, where he joined us for the popcorn on his plate but not the angel hair and shrimp, he quietly took his little Star Wars play figures and arranged them and played them with one another. He didn't ask us to join him or even really bother with our response. Of course, there are daily, "chase me" and "follow me" moments in our lives, but I need to allow for or set up time for QUinn to simply BE. This morning he and I went to the Children's Museum again and wandered the Living Section, spending a good deal of time just taking in Clifford who was making the rounds. We hung out in the Habitot room and broke down building blocks. I wonder what psychology is involved with my desire to not have him knock down play bricks, when really, maybe he needs to figure out what happens when he does something. Ah, the mind games of parenting. We were scheduled to have a playdate tonight but Quinn's runny nose has cancelled the event. Tomorrow Luke leaves for his mini-college reunion and Quinn spends the night at his GRandma's house for the first time. Asha is coming over for a sleepover so it should be a very fun night. Quinn is all about suckers right now and the association between the museum and suckers is strong. It's interesting that he should like them so much, but I suppose we haven't really exposed him to much candy. Cookies and baked goods, yes, but not the menagerie of candy that is out there. Quinn and i ate a lovely breakfast/lunch at Mickey's. We split pancakes, sausage and eggs and I had to do my best to tune out the 20 somethings who were spouting political ego's too loudly for my taste. Now Quinn is taking a long nap and snoozing sweetly in our bed. My desire to sleep in my own bed has grown since we got the new lovely duvet cover and pillows. I want to sleep in the adult bed now. Unfortunately, this means that Luke has slept the last few nights in the toddler's Star Wars bed because Quinn joins me in the big bed leaving little room for Dad. Alas, how does one find the balance? Quinn is fun to watch when he pretends that his hand is a tennis racket. We run circles around the bedroom again and again. Today, Quinn insisted in lowering himself head first over the side of our bed so that he could look at the lion that was obviously beneath our bed. Quinn likes to make tunnels with his body, essentially creating a downward facing dog shape with his small body. We are taking baths every night now as part of our go to bed routine. I am encouraging Quinn to let the animals be friends with one another rather than fighting, which is kind of a standard move for Quinn this week. He did allow me to advocate for friendship though and the hippo, alligator and shark got to swim together last night, even diving into the tub together:) We need to find inside shoes for Quinn and school.

Sweet Quinn

Sometimes it's the little things. This past week- well, basically since Matt moved- we've been wrestling with late night bedtimes and struggling to have a routine for Quinn. Yesterday, we did well by Quinn and were out and about throughout the day, honoring what his body and brain needs. He rewarded us by going to bed at 9:45, which was WAY earlier than the previous evenings midnight, and this morning woke and was ready for the world. He and I spent a lovely morning at the Children's Museum where he was excited to draw on his own face and play in the exhibits. He gave Clifford a big hug and recognized the story they read as one we read at home ourselves. He ate a good sized lunch at McDonalds and then we headed home for nap. After a minor- "two minutes, Mom" to drive the car, we were up in his room reading and getting set for a nap. I went down right away and he lay quietly next to me. Now and again I would wake up and he would either be laying next to me or sitting up looking at me or once, reading a book on the floor next to the bed. At one point, he ticked himself next to me, sidling along me. When he finally crashed, I noticed a scent in the room and the poor little man had a full diaper full of poo. How quietly he endured while I napped. He didn't even wake while I wiped him and got a fresh diaper on him. Good boy.

Quinn Summer Tales

My son came home buzzing tonight after his first evening at Vacation Bible School. While I am still mixed about how we are going to raise Quinn in terms of religion and faith, there was no denying that he had enjoyed the experience. He was proudly wearing his VBS shirt and refused to take it off when it was time for bed. We listened to his VBS CD multiple times so we could hear Son Rocks Kid Camp and do the hand motion that he had learned. His 3-4 year old room of 11 kids has 3-4 adults and some high school helpers so he's well attended to. After a bit of ice cream with Grandma and some running about, we went to sleep after reading two baseball books (multiple times): Curious George and the Baseball Game and Mighty Casey. This weekend we were in Le Sueur for the Beck event. It was great to see Quinn and Nicky playing together and they really had a good time. My favorite memories are their antics in the tub and pool. Their interaction was sweet and silly and totally fitting two three year olds. I was pleased with Quinn's naps and also that we were to bed at reasonable times. All in all, it was a lazy, relaxing weekend and even though my son is attached to me, I find that connection more important and emotionally fulfilling than the paranoia I experience when I wonder if people judge that. I need to let go of that anxiety and just trust that what I do for Quinn is in his best interest and that- and this I am sure of- I know my son and his needs better than anyone else (except perhaps for Luke). ZIt was pleasant, actually, to end a long weekend with Quinn at VBS because we could get everything unpacked and the house in order. Very refreshing. I started laundry, emailed and did the Wii. I've been running on the Wii and that makes me happy. Even though I'm not setting any records, I'm still being active. I'm hoping that setting this as a norm means that while i am pregnant (when that happy event occurs) I'll be able to stay fit, making my postpartum return to health even faster and smoother. I love watching Quinn's new skills come along. He easily unscrewed the top of his new golf clubs so that it could be a makeshift lightsaber. He also used the lightsaber to whistle through and despite the extra saliva, he had that trick down. He is getting much better about blowing out the candles on cakes too. I wish I could explain the fun enthusiasm and articulation to the way Quinn says, "hap pee Birthday" with rising tones and emphasis. Then, the second time he says it, and this is often the case lately, it's up an octave. If something matters to him, he'll sometimes repeat it and each time, his chin rises and so does his chin. Quinn has been wearing a bandaid on his forehead for the last few days, though there's no injury to speak of. It's going to leave a tan line:) Quinn and rocks. My son loves rocks. He loves throwing them, he loves collecting them and holding on to them and he even loves slipping them inside the tube of his golf club. There's a pretty agate that he likes to hold and this weekend he did some miniature rock climbing on the burm at Nana and Papa's house. QUinn is finally recognizing more of the figures on the mural headboard at Nana and Papa's house. He is going to love Disney World in 2011.

Precious Quinn

Ah, Quinn. Sometimes, you have to laugh because that best summarizes the joy you feel because a smile just isn't enough. Last night, I was the dutiful parent to start up bed time around 9. Quinn and I had spent the evening going on a walk and playing, and after a little Finding Nemo and some snacks, I got him in pajamas with teeth brushed. We read books and were all set to go to sleep, except for the fact that my son was happily, wide awake. He asked for his Dad so I went to get Luke. Unfortunately, Luke was outside finishing up some yard chores so Quinn had time to come downstairs and plop himself on the couch in the office to watch some more Nemo. Since he was actively awake I took the time to empty Quinn's closet of toys to bring downstairs and also to assess garage sale potential in his closet. I got the downstairs toy chest settled and prices marked for Quinn's clothing et al. Once Luke was showered and Quinn had his waffle, it was back upstairs for the boys while I watched some Twilight extras. Then, Luke came down to ask for me. Quinn wanted to kiss me goodnight. By the time I was walking to the stairs my perky little son was already half way down, grinning and smiling like some radiant angel, with just the touch of mischieviousness. We all went back to his bed then and Quinn insisted that we all lay together, "You and me and You". We squashed our bodies onto the twin bed and Quinn rolled back and forth between us planting the sweetest kisses on our lips and faces. His hands gently cradled our cheeks and he would kiss our foreheads. When he wasn't endearing us to him even further, he would clap his hands together, intertwining his fingers into one another. He was bored, but playful, even as we tried to insist on quiet. Finally, my precarious balance on the edge forced me to leave and Quinn remained with Dad. But, that is not to say that he went to sleep. Quinn wanted to follow me, but Luke told him he had to wait for me. So, he sat up and waited--- almost a half an hour. Finally, he fell asleep with Luke, and I traded with Luke around 2 when Quinn woke up and wanted me. Funny, precious, kind, tender little boy. It almost breaks my heart today to sell the couch we've spent so many hundreds of hours on- nursing, snugging, playing, making forts- but it's time...

Quinn summer transitions

He wrapped his arms around Quinn and as always I was reminded of how tall and strong he is, but how gentle and loving he is with his nephew. The final breakfast with Matt was really difficult. Quinn had such an all over weekend, napping early on Saturday but not getting to sleep until nearly 11 that night. Then, the following day he got up around 9, took a fake car nap on the way home from Laura's family picnic and then didn't nap until 5. He slept until almost 8 and then again wasn't in bed until 12:30. He napped on the way home from Iowa and then it was, maybe, an evening of about 10??? The poor man is just so emotionally tired and also physically lost in all this. It was hard for me to form the words to comfort Quinn as we left the Drake Diner. Tears were streaming down my face and Luke respectfully allowed me to cry in peace. Quinn is having random stress attacks it seems where he desperately wants to eat, or I can't leave him (say, so he could go to the park with Dad and I could nurture my overly-filled stomach). Yesterday is asked, "Where is Matt?" and then told me that i had to stay with him. He also has taken to saying he "misses" me. Matt told him that he would miss him when he left. I think it was good that Quinn saw Matt pack up and go, saw the process of unpacking and said good-bye. But, for all of that, it doesn't mean that his life isn't very different now. The room that used to be Matt's now has a red computer desk and the old couch. The dining room is filled with items for the garage sale we're going to have tomorrow and the living room is nearly empty. I thought for sure that we would be able to empty Quinn's closet into all of this new space we would have, but already, it's filling up. He has so little room and so little territory that was purely his. I hope that in his new space he is flourishing and that he realizes all that he has gained in his own home. In little things, I miss him and all that he did for us. His physical strength when it came to moving things, the lawn mowing and the moment to moment child care he provided. I also like that he allowed me to decompress or vent about things, if only for a moment, and I knew that he was only going to listen and not judge me. Luke and I are back and forth being on edge ever so slightly and very good together. I am sure this means new things for us as well. Lana was hear that last for what seemed like a giant venting session that she needed. She's been spending lots of time with Bobbi, who has been terribly ill with her pregnancy. Lana is at her wit's end with it all and admits to not even "liking her". She says that being a mother in law is the hardest thing she's ever had to go through. Gracious. What to do, what to think. The cool Eric Carle game that Toni got Quinn has turned into fun body awareness for Quinn. Now, he'll spontaneously want to wiggle his toes, turn his neck, bend his neck, raise his shoulders... very fun stuff. More and more, we chat back and forth and I love the communication. Quinn is wearing pull-up's now and we just purchased a different kid's toilet from IKEA to see if he likes it.

Quinn report

We were at Lee and Kris's for the fourth of july. After a short visit to the St. Peter parade where the rain forced us to leave early, we were off to the Edberg's for fun with the family. Quinn was thrilled as always to play with his cousins and he and Ethan sword fought with every bat or noodle or lightsaber around. We all went swimming and I was the resident lifeguard for the threesome. My sweet three year old was all blue lips and shivering, though he fought hard to stay in the water. Finally, he gave up and dug in the sand with Luke and later went on a pontoon ride where he quickly fell asleep leaning against Luke. One of my favorite moments from the day was when he picked up the hula hoop and instead of throwing it around his hips, he held it in his hands and turned around. An adorable interpretation of the act of hoola hooping (seems I can't agree on how to spell that activity) to be sure. I was chuckling madly. He and Ethan rolled and rolled around in the grass and once more, Ellie and Ethan drove Quinn around in their battery operated cars. Nana tried to teach Quinn to drive, but he was so intrigued by the pedal that he would forget to steer or look up:) Sweet boy. Per usual it was a fickle day of eating, but he did fairly well eating some apple, corn, his favorite chips (salt and pepper) and drinking water. He even had some bites of ham. All in all, pretty ok, though his critics (or rather, my critics) might disagree. Bobbi announced her pregnancy to the crowd and they are due February 20th I believe. She was eating pickles, which waa cute, and indulged in a nap-- a favorite part of being pregnant. Quinn miraculously stayed awake the whole ride home and crashed about 9. Maybe he'll see fireworks when he's 4:) His new thing is to carry around his medicine with him, which means carrying around the Melagel disk and having me put some on his recovered knee injuries. This morning we were snuggling and I was saying that I had to get up to go to work and he told me to "lay down Mommy. Just cuddle". He likes to turn on his side away from me and hold onto my arm and place one of my hands between his own. Incredibly sweet stuff. Lately, we're playing this cool body activity game with him that he got for his birthday from Toni. It has Eric Carle pictures on it and asks him to do particular actions. We bend our neck and knees, turn our hand, stomp our feet, etc. The best is when we have to raise our shoulders and Quinn's arms raise up too, making is a whole upper body action. He really likes wiggling his hips, though his movement is reminiscent of his mother's hip action:) Sweet boy. We're all about Madagascar lately and he calls is "gascar".

Misc. Quinn moments recorded

I wish we took more pictures of Quinn. I try to memorize his face, but I know my mind is flooded with so many glorious images of him-- and that it will continue to be- that there simply won't be space for the all the Quinn footage I would like to have stored in my mind. Like, for example, the way he looks when he determines that he is going to pretend pout. Or, the devious look he has when he is going to lick or bite you, staring into your eyes so we can see his evil plans:) The concentration on his face when he eats an ice cream cone and the slightly spaced out expression he gets when he is both tired and watching a movie. The way he swings his arms with fists gently clenched, ho-humming his way through life. The way he sayd "Rosey" and reaches for your arms and calls to the missing parent so we can all do ring around the rosey together. Lately, he's all about Madagascar. it started last week when he was watching the cartoon and we were headed out of town. In a burst of Quinn-shopping, I picked up the movie and then when we were out as a family on a Target run the other day we grabbed Madagascar 2. He can label his animals quite well. The other night we went down to the Mississippi River and Quinn and I ran and ran. Dad stayed with the stroller and walked along, with us yards ahead of him. Quinn discussed that there were obviously fish in the river, as well as turtles. He rode in his stroller on the way home and Luke and I talked about the abandoned building along Shepard Road that would make a cool school. Last night we were at Palace Park. Quinn is making really excellent strides in his climbing, thanks in large part to Luke's dedicated efforts to make him more independent and planful when it comes to ascending things. I think we'll probably spend the upcoming 4th with Luke's family at Lee and Kris'. We can hardly say no to an invite, especially since Quinn is so wickedly happy with Ethan and Ellie. At the recent birthday bash, Ellie drove the two of them around in her Barbie car, cranking on the reverse handle over and over so that they lurched back and forth hilariously. Quinn didn't mind at all being driven around by Ellie and she was a delightful driver. Quinn continues to enjoy his trips to Starbucks on Grand with his Dad for coffee. How fun. He loves his Oreos very much and has learned some different methods for rating them, inspired by watching his Dad open them and eat them in stages. Quinn and I went to the water park twice last week and had a delightful time. It was so warm/hot last week that it seemed the only thing to do. what a relief that this week has been cooler-- for the pocket book at least, not for the activity. This past Sunday we went canoeing and that was big fun. We stopped on the little island there and had our lunch. Quinn sat and ate his apple, dropping the first. The position of this little legs laying in the sand never shifted and his only movements involved bringing his apple to his mouth and picking up near by rocks to throw them into the water. Delightful boy. His cars life jacket is quite adorable on him.

UP

Last night we went to our first family movie together. It was one of those plans that I had set up in my head as an idyllic little adventure for the family, even though I hadn't quite laid out the details with such finesse. The day was busy from start to finish. I began my day early in the morning by helping Matt pack up his giant entertainment center to bring to the class garage sale at Grace's. Then, we were supposed to be off for Asha's, but since we were running late, we missed her. Andrew was there with a partially packed car we would need to drive over so I didn't rush. Then, Quinn, Matt and I stopped on Grand for a sticky bun, some "Coffee" and a trip to Creative Kids Stuff where everything in the store was 25% off. Wild. I picked up two Melissa and Doug food sets, a small sticker set for Lukey and some cool sand. Luke was only mildly annoyed about the sand since we don't have a sand or water table...

Yet:)

After our mini-trip down Grand, we headed over to Asha's and got things situated there. Mind you, Quinn and I have been on the go since before 8 and it's now nearly 10. We head over to Grace's as an entourage and then have to turn around and return Asha's car. I leave Quinn with Grace so he has some play time outside, drop off Matt at home and pick up Quinn. Now's it's 11:30. We head down to Cannon Falls for Lukey's party and Quinn gets an insufficient 20 minute nap, which leads to a break down at Carolyn's. After a couple hours visit there where my son ate nothing but corn chips, we headed home-- via Dairy Queen- and then to St. Paul. Quinn took a hearty nap, which meant we missed the Family Formation picnic, and then we were off to Rosedale. We couldn't commit to a dinner plan because Quinn was antsy and eventually we settled on pizza in the mall food court. Unfortunately, the movie was sold out and so we were in a panic about where to go. I didn't want the dream to die, Quinn wanted to go to the park and Luke did his best to keep his patience with me. After some slightly tense conversations, we ended up at the Inver Grove Theater which was blessedly NOT crowded and we sat in the very back row. Quinn wolfed down popcorn and Reese's and was a sweet little boy. After the very first Pixar short he wanted to go home, but we pushed through and he did quite well. We had to have a few pseudo nursing attempts, but by and large is was very fun and a sweet movie.

Today we have to head to Waseca for Tyler's graduation party. Gracious.

Quinn will be three years old in less than a month and I've not spent a single night away from him in all that time. For more than two years, I've slept beside my child, hearing him breathe and knowing with perfect certainty that he was safe- both next to me, in the next room or in my arms. I find that our time asleep is just as meaningful to me as our waking time. So, it comes as no surprise that I am awake right now, vexed by the most recent request for Quinn to sleep over with his grandparents. Logic tells me that the desire to spend time with Quinn is borne out of love and affection and not a need to take him "away" from me. I know this. I can tell me mind to listen to that common sense, but my heart sends a different message. My body and soul ache with worry that someone is going to be less kind or patient with Quinn than I would be. Someone will say something about me to Quinn that will change how he sees me or our relationship. Someone will chastize Quinn for any mention of me... when it's normal for him to want to see me within a 24 hour period because he doesn't know any different. Shouldn't I have the perogative to say that Quinn can't sleepover until he's done with nursing? Or, am I allowing my fear to guide my choices? Am I worried about being replaced and unncecessary? How did I get to this place? Luke shares with me that he is lonely and needs/wants more time with me. I hear him and want to honor and acknowledge/respond to that shared emotion, but my heart is so filled with Quinn that I don't know what to do. Without meaning to, my mind has convinced me that time or prioritizing my relationship with Luke can wait- even when I know that it can't and that thinking is poor. How will I provide financially for my family this summer? Do I think this is a good time to consider having a second child? How important to me is having another child? Will I ever be able to finish my capstone? Will I ever be out of debt? Will I ever be able to convince my student's to stop harming themselves? So much stress.

The materialism of this wedding is wearing on me. The amount of money Chris and sheryl can spend without any worry or care is frustrating to me and Sheryl's filter about expressing that freedom is vexing. She is not a bad person. She is very beloved by her family and that points to someone who is connected to family. She works hard at her job and is bright in that field. She's an excellent cook and homemaker and loves my brother. I don't know if it's her flightiness and privilege that bother me or her subtle classism... probably all of it. I worry that Chris will struggle with this marriage as well, though I don't worry that she would ever be unfaithful. Her mother is very sweet and kind and I believe that those caring traits will be a part of her motherhood. OUr family is so small and hers is so large. I just feel completely out of sorts. The make-up, hair, fancy spots for everything... it's all wild. Even her remarks about the cash bar are wild. Uggh. I need to remember that I am not marrying Sheryl and that Chris is very, very smart and obviously loves Sheryl very much. I wish that Chris and I were closer and that we had a more natural vibe with one another. Matt didn't even know he was the best man. What a weekend this will be!

Outside of 575 Jefferson is a small "hill" that leads from the small lawn area in front of the house to the driveway that is sunken a bit to the right of the house. Quinn uses this space as his slide and sits down and pushes his butt along the ground to the bottom of the small decline. Hilarious.

Quinn loves the notion of sword fighting or rather, light saber battles. Gracious. My poor finger got hit twice yesterday with his antics. We went on a short, but complicated walk yesterday. When I say short, I mean the distance covered away from the house. We did lots of back and forth directionally:) Someone on the lawn area next to the street had some landscaping around a tree and we went round and round it on the stones that squared off the tree. He likes to hop now, both forward on a small space and down. We've got him new Converse now, Size 9, with the low sides so we have fewer shoelace holes to maneuver. Quinn has a lovely new haircut and knows that Dad and Matt are both wearing tuxes for the wedding this weekend and that Quinn will wear one too. Quinn would like Mommy to wear one as well, but I told him I'm wearing a dress:) My son is nearly three. Yesterday when I was mentioning to Matt that my birthday was on Tuesday, Quinn said, "No, my birthday" so at least he's making connections. I'm going to enjoy this weekend and I'm looking forward to new family photos:)

I'm in the house right now and I can here my son and his father playing baseball outside. When I glance through the blinds, I see Quinn playing ball, the two of them communicating calmly and my son's face shining back at me. Being Quinn's mother is the most amazing thing ever and each day is an enormous blessing. I can't imagine how I lived before him-- or rather, I know such different kind of love and centeredness now that he is my son. I wish I could crystallize or freeze all of my moments with him. My memory is so very terrible and my penchant for taking photos is even worse. How can I live in the moment and at the same time, capture the moment? I love my son.

Awesome Quinn

Quinn likes to walk on edges lately. There's a low stone wall in front of the house and Quinn likes to balance on it. Along our make-shift driveway there is also a concrete ridge of sorts that climbs up the small incline. He likes to walk up that as well. He's doing so well with his balance and strengthening of muscles, I think. When he runs, I marvel at his little legs and arms working together. Sometimes he leans forward- into a fictional wind- and runs fiercely forward, fists balled. Other times, he stands up painfully straight as he runs. Still other times, he shuffles his feet as he moves along, feet in front of his whole body. To every walk and quirk to Quinn, there is beauty and growth, making me feel like the luckiest Mom in the world

My son loves his Car pajamas. The pants to it are red, white and blue and plaid style. They are hilarious and he loves them. Come to think of it, Quinn always loves whatever set of pajamas is new and would like to wear them more than just for bed time. Went to swimming lessons last night for the first time in two weeks. Quinn loves the swim instructor this time around. It's a guy and he's very interactive and goes beyond the syrupy sweet voice of the teen girl instructors. Quinn wants to chase him around the pool and play. Funny kid.

Last night we had a small accident with Quinn. My little explorer decided to pull up the vent in his room. Then, before I could put it back, he decided to walk over it, forgetting it was gone. His little foot slipped into the hole and it gave him a scratch on the bottom of his foot that bled a bit. Poor thing. 'Course, as soon as he had a bandaid on his heel, he began to walk around on his toes. I do love that somehow he always knows how to protect his injury, even when his injury is sometimes fake:)

My wonderful little boy seems to be on his way to weening himself. Sort of. Of course, yesterday was the first time I admitted that aloud to Luke and then Quinn was nursing more than ever last night. Maybe he intuited it too. Now that I have longer work days with Luke at home with Quinn, we are nursing later and he's been sleeping for longer periods at night. The books and articles all say that weaning is something really gradual and that he may just surprise me one day and be done. Quinn has had so many transitions lately with Luke home and no more Jo-Jo's. I think he's handled it all really well. Excellent little boy.

The newest routine in the house is playing a lot of ball and catch. Quinn likes to set Luke and I up in a triangle and we toss the ball back and forth, or, when it comes to the golf ball or actual baseball, we roll it. The other week we got this incredibly sweet note from the neighbor that said she saw us playing as a family in the backyard and really loved that even when Quinn missed the baseball, we cheered and celebrated his efforts. What a cool validation.

Luke is doing really brilliantly with Quinn during the day. They are playing together so much and Luke has him excelling with meals. Plus, he's getting him to nap without having to lay down with him. While I do very much want Luke to find a job soon, I am glad that they have this time together, even if I am a tad envious. Still, my summer will soon be here and I have enjoyed more time with Quinn as a result of my work schedule from the time he was born. It is more than right that Luke should have these delicious moments with our son:)

Friday, 5/8

Hmm....

I hope that all is going swimmingly well with your projects and that you are energetically assembling your trip! For some of you, that trip might become a reality if you sign up for Rich's trip next spring.

I didn't see many daily response posts yesterday. Please remember that conferences are literally around the corner and that mid-terms are mailed Wednesday morning. Please also remember that your blog should include at least 2-3 misc. posts per week that can be about anything and everything.

Have a wonderful weekend and I hope you're donating some blood today at the blood drive!

Spent most of today putting out emotional fires with students today. The poetry slam ignited a fierce storm of drama. One of my actors was suspended and another one is grating on my nerves with his emotionally manipulative ways. One student is crying out for help from me and I don't have all the answers or know if the ones I propose can be of much help. I spent most of my day being a social worker for kids, and also realizing that if I was the social worker, I wouldn't know the kids the way I do... or even what I do. It's a conundrum. The title of social worker alone would probably drive them away and the fact that they come to know me first as a teacher and then as a confidante it what works for us. I can always fall back on literature and discussion and plays. To focus on mental and emotional health all day would, I think, drain me. And so I am compelled to ask myself: as I strive wholeheartedly to make a difference in the lives of my students, will I be able to do the same for my son? Will I have the reserve and patience to tackle his personal challenges? If I allow myself to be emotionally wrung out by my students, will I have enough left for Quinn, who deserves the best from me and may not have a teacher like me in his life?

I am able to blog everyday for and about my kids for school, but then come up short for this blog because words and fluency escape me. And yet, it was only through listening to an old voicemail Quinn left me on my way home from work that I was able to make it home and attempt to reframe my mind. The most amazing thing in the world is the way Quinn runs after a baseball. With his fists balled up and his arms pumping back and forth, he runs with his back straight against the win, posture tall, lowering his center of gravity as he pursues the ball. Lately, he just wants to be outside and I love that the instinct in him is strong to be outside and playing. Luke, Quinn and I braved a rainy looking night this week to head to the park. It looked like maybe I had sent us out into turbulent weather, but it held, and there was the most beautiful double rainbow after a light sprinkle. Quinn is getting really good about hearing and taking direction. Luke has taught him, for instance, how to stand when he's at bat and he can correct Quinn by asking him to turn around. Quinn makes contact on a good number of our pitches and it's so exciting to see him bat. I do my very best to encourage all of his attempts, validating his effort, his swing, his concentration.... When he runs after balls, he sometimes allows himself to take a circuitous path, weaving here and there in pursuit of the ball. His aim has gotten leaps and bounds better and he's throwing straight more and more. Of course, as hea wearies, so too does his approach. When he's tired, he might spin around completely as he throws and the ball ends up behind him, or just in front of him after a pop up into the sky:)

Quinn's new favorite movie is King George and his Ducky, a Veggie Tales film my mom bought him for Easter. He insists lately on wearing his too small Saints t-shirt that is beginning to look like a half t-shirt on him. Funny kid. Of course, he also loves his TC Twins shirt that Nana and Papa got for him and will wear that multiple days in a row. We're going on two weeks now that we've skipped swimming lessons. Something about all that work for 1/2 an hour discourages us, I think. When we ask him if he wants to go, he invariably says No even though if we got him there, I'm sure he would be over the moon. As he was swinging at the park the other day, I was singing to him the Teddy Bear song that we do at swimming and when we closed the song, Quinn said, "Bye Swimming". HIs associations are strong.

I'm driving a new vehicle now. Matt has finally retrieved his Kia Spectra and despite it's loud motor, I am using it so that Quinn and LUke have access to the car seat Honda. It feels awfully weird to be driving a new car and not to be driving my kid around. My lack of having a routine to drop him off to school leaves me feeling rather empty and lost. I miss the one minute drive where QUinn and I sang together. I miss starting and ending my work day with Quinn, even if it meant having less time for schoolwork. Of course I always could use more time to get school stuff done, but I better liked my life when I had more Quinn time. My last drop off of Quinn at daycare was really sad. Two years ago, I lifted a baby into Jo-Jo's house and in the last few weeks he was there, he was climbing out of the car himself and walking in on his own. How many afternoon's did I jokingly chase him down the street because he was running away from me and wanted me to play? I miss being the guts of Quinn's day. Now, I have more freedom to get to work and stay there, but what good does that do me when I already feel like it gets too much of my heart?

Obviously, I'm a little emotionally overwrought today and I don't always feel this way. Luke's unemployment has had so many ripple effects and I'm probably just feeling the stress of it all right now. I don't thinK i can get this masters paper done this month and it kills me to have to put it off yet again, especially when I don't know how to do that...

Tonight Quinn was being pulled around by his father in the IKEA bag and was blissfully happy tucking himself into the $.50 bag. Quinn loves to watch Dad's show- 30 Rock. What a funny show for him to enjoy. Dad got to take Quinn to Target the other day and bought Quinn a mater truck, from cars. How fun and sweet.

Chris' wedding is right around the corner and the prospect of the weekend is exciting and exhausting. Thankfully, I'm taking a long weekend and so I hope that will give me time to recover from the fun and obligations. The whole household is part of the event. Asha is doing us a huge favor and agreeing to be Quinn's nanny for the day. I need to make that hotel reservation...

We got some really terrible news today about Gwen. Or rather, she got some really upsetting news. She has been having some medical issues lately and it turns out that she may have a form of really aggressive blood cancer. I don't even know how to process the news. So often, it seems that Tim and I would talk about the whole what comes around goes around thing and I guess I never thought something could actually happen... and I hate to believe that it may have. For all that Gwen is or isn't, I don't want her personal life and health to be in peril. I think she has areas of growth to work on in her professional life, but so do I. My heart breaks at the thought of her becoming sick. I don't know what would happen to the school without her.

As much as we would have liked to see Quinn racing away on his new bike, it seems that he is content to run away on his own two feet. Granted, the bike we got is a little big for him, but he also kind of just wants to be pushed on it anyways:) When we were at Carolyn's last sunday for dinner, Lukey had a push version of the bike where you had to use your legs to move and Quinn just set his feet up on the rest bar and wanted me to push him. Funny kid. He was so friendly with Lukey last weekend. There house is one cluttered, crazed toy bonanza. They have so many things for Quinn to explore. More than that though, he wants Lukey to play with him and be his friend. It's pretty darn cool to witness the kindness and openness Quinn has to be close to other kids his age. Pretty sweet. He's a good hugger, my Quinn.

We had our first non-family babysitter last week. Her name is Grace and she's one of my students. She's done mentoring before and worked at Wilder, and done lots of babysitting. She was pretty open and accepting of my neurosis too. It was a fun night out for Luke and I. We went to dinner and saw a movie and I'm not sure we'll be able to do that again, but it was a nice night. Why won't be repeat it very soon? It's expensive. We ended up paying grace something like $4o for the night. Whew.

Still, she got him to bed and he did well with her so that is a wonderful feat. Sidney was sad that I didn't let her take care of Quinn. Maybe someday:) For the time being, Grace is a bit more steady.

QUinn loves Crispix now and we've gotten him into a good routine of cereal in the morning. Cool. Good source of iron too. Blood drive is tomorrow at school. Dinner theater in two weeks.

'Cause

My son is super smart. Lately, when I ask Quinn "why?" he wants to do something or needs something, he replies with "cause". Silly boy. He smiles every time he says it. Today we are giving Quinn his very first bike. It's red, a Radio flyer and the cutest thing you've ever seen... that is, until I get to see Quinn on it. Ever since Matt bought himself a bike, Quinn has been aching for one and there's little he wants or verbalizes that we say no to.... I don't mean that he is spoiled, just that he doesn't require much:) The only thing Quinn asks for lately that we don't give him is the "Bear" movie or rather, Kung Fu Panda. After Quinn wacked me across the chest, kung fu style, we decided that film wasn't quite the influence we were looking for.

We've gotten into quite the poor habit of eating dinner on the couch. We do our best to get him to sit at his little table, but a habit has been formed. As we percolate whether or not to take him out of daycare, I have to remember that some of the lessons he is learning there are about consistency and rules. I am sure he eats his meals at a table and he takes naps at the same time every day-- on his own. He has been asking for Jo-Jo today so I assume that he likes it, despite some of the recent chaos with more kids. I don't want to pull him from his routine, but I also want to be sure I can feed him...

My son loves wearing pajamas lately. He has a new set of Handy Manny pajamas and a shark set. Tragically, his Handy Manny pants suffered a blow when nail polish spilled all over them last weekend. I was painting my nails in the bathroom and Quinn found me. He wanted his nails painted too so I obliged. Somehow, Quinn's hand knocked the open bottle and he ended up with a giant splotch of paint on his pants and the floor of the bathroom and Mom were speckled with paint. Naturally, we were at the very dregs of the remover so little attention was paid to this pants. What attention we did pay didn't change much about his pants, with the exception that the color bled through to his leg and he was adorned with a bright red spot. By the next day it had faded, but it was quite funny.

We just removed his nail polish today before our Easter visit to Le Sueur. :)

When Quinn requests a band aid on his foot he responds in the sweetest way. Say, he asks for the band-aid to be on his toe or on the bottom of his foot. From that point on, he walks in a way that keeps that spot from touching a ground, walking on the side of his foot or heal. He certainly knows how to accommodate his injuries!

Things Quinn likes to eat: yoplait yogurt (strawberry or straw vanilla, nutri grain vanilla yogurt bars, cheese sticks, fries, pizza, pasta, Crispix cereal, cookies, ice cream, chicken corn chowder...

Things Quinn likes to play with: Handy Manny toys, cars, shovel/bucket, tennis racket, golf club, baseball/balls, horsey

Books we've been reading lately: Go Dog Go, The Mighty Casey, Click Clack Moo, The Empty Pot, Curious George (and the toy store, at the zoo, 1 Fish 2 Fish

Songs we've been singing: ABC's, Ring Around the Rosey, Twinkle Twinkle, Wheels on the Bus, Itsy Bitsy Spider

I used the list format just now because I never feel I can do this blog justice because I am so incredibly in awe of every single thing Quinn does. I feel sometimes like the writing in the blog is dry, but if I were to speak poetically about it all, I'd be here reminiscing about a single smile for months:)

Meet You

My son knows that when you shake people's hands you say, "Nice to meet you" except that when he says it, it comes out, "Meet you". It's the very sweetest thing. He shakes your hand vigorously and makes eye contact with you. Brilliant boy. When he is looking for you, instead of "where are you?" it comes out, "Are you?" I love the substitutions or deletions in his vocabulary. We are still pulling things a great deal. We also are spending more time outside. The other day we spent time shoveling in the backyard and hammering the side of the house. We also kicked around the soccer ball. Quinn is also all about driving the car. Getting him into his seat after Jo-Jo's is quite the feat. He'd rather crawl into the front seat and drive himself. He knows where the lights are and the mirrors. Heck, he can even open his door on his own while sitting in his seat. I have to be really careful to lock it! This past weekend Quinn and I went to the Walker for the first time for the Family Free Saturday. We had some fun moments in the sculpture garden looking at the big spoon and horse sculpture. He also liked walking through the arboretum. Quinn loves to be tickled. Lately, I have taken to writing the alphabet in his back and he loves the tickles. I don't even need to touch his back, but reach around like I'm going to and say the letter and he starts giggling. Silly, wonderful kid. His swimming lessons seem to have taken root in his world. At bath times lately, he loves to lay down in the water and float. He'll kick or push back until his head hits the end of the tub. His ears are completely submerged and his smiling face peaks out at you and checks to make sure we're watching. Quinn's newest pretending game is that there is water all around the bed or room and he needs to stay on the couch or bed because the water is rising. Pretty darn imaginative. We're newly into Crispix.

Rosy

All thing are Rosy when it comes to life with Quinn. Quinn is singing up a storm lately and knows his ABC's, Twinkle Twinkle and the Itsy Bitsy spider. He might also know Three Little Fish, but it upsets him that the fish jump out of the water and he always wants them to jump back in:) For the past couple days, Quinn likes to pull Luke and I into a fabulous game of Ring around the rosy. I wish I didn't know that the song actually dealt with the black plague, but that's hardly something I'll teach Quinn. The first time Quinn did ring around the rosy was probably at Bobbi and Levi's wedding with Ethan and Ellie. It was quite cute and still is today. I don't know where it's coming from, but Quinn has taken to disciplining his toys. His horse and Curious George seem to absorbing the majority of his avarice. He will tell George that he is a bad boy and either hit him or throw him. The horse occasionally gets kicked and/or thrown. Jo-Jo's says he's not doing it there, so I don't know where he picked it up. I do hope it passes. For the past couple days, I've been writing the ABC's on Quinn's back and he loves both the words and the tickles. Sweet boy.

ABC's

Quinn and I sing out ABC's together on the way to Jo-Jo's. It's pretty fantastic. He's got nearly all of the letter down and joins in with me, and likes that he knows the words. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. I tried to introduce Quinny had a little lamb today, but maybe I should have stuck with Mary because he stared at me like I was from another planet:) Yesterday was an interesting testimony to routine. Because Luke had the day off, he and I dropped Quinn at Jo-Jo's together. The addition of Daddy on the trip was not a bonus and Quinn disliked that Dad was with us. Plus, when we're all in the car, Dad drives, but when we go to Jo-Jo's, Mommy drives. Quinn could hardly decide who he wanted to be driving. His schemas were all distorted. Then, when we picked him up he was even more distressed. Now, part of that had to do with his exhausting day and the school age big boys being there, but I think he also needed his normal time to be with Mom, nurse and debrief. Poor soul. He cried all the way home.

Speaking of the nursing and tears, both real and unshed. We have purchased a bed for Quinn. For one week, it was next to our bed in the room. That became tired quickly because the appeal of the bed- for me- was so close and the twin bed took some getting used to for my back. Plus, Quinn craves more and more room in a bed and the twin bed with me in it isn't a great fit. Still, Quinn doesn't want to sleep by himself so we're trying to mix things up. Now, for about a week, Quinn's bed has been in his room and he's been sleeping pretty much full time in there. I say pretty much because sometimes I crave the space and comfort of the big bed and so does he. On his first night in his room, he went down early and I snuck away. Then, Luke and I were able to chit chat and hang out in our room without Quinn. It was pretty surreal. One minute, I feel weary from nursing and ready for space of my own and in the next, I don't want to alarm Quinn and I'm ready to stick with it as long as he needs. And he does love it. Sometimes when he's nestled next to me or across my body, he is so perfectly happy and at ease, so completely trusting of me... it's difficult to describe. I did some more reading this weekend about weaning and they say to not refuse, but not to offer. They say to change the routine, but not to do so drastically so that nursing may be more desired because of the upsetting change. It's all wild. At the heart of it all, I love Quinn and I want to be here for him as best as I can, for as long as I can.

Rubber Duck

My son really likes Bert and Ernie. One of their Hulu video posts contains the Rubber Duck song and he and Dad were singing that together before bed tonight. Quinn also loves singing the ABC's with me now. He has sections that he is able to sing with me and he waits anxiously for those moments of unison. It's quite adorable and I'll have to record him singing. Tonight Quinn is sleeping with his Dad in the big bed. I suppose the main goal is for Quinn not to sleep next to me, so even though this means that I'll be sleeping in Quinn's Star Wars bed, I'll roll with it:) Tomorrow, our idea is to have me disappear in the evening and try a night without me. Perhaps Quinn heard about this plan and is taking it upon himself to control the terms of the arrangement. Or, maybe he knows that the big bed is much more comfortable than his own. Despite having already spent $100 on his mattress, I do think we're going to have to upgrade it, especially if I'm going to be spending additional time there.

Lately, our pajamas are "jamas". We were really into Kung Fu Panda for a bit and called that the Big Bear movie. But, we're removing that from the rotation now that he's swinging at people and impersonating battle scenes. We are also going to need to reign in the Star Wars. Poor stuffed George felt the pain of Quinn's remote light saber tonight. Earlier today, Quinn hit his stuffed George and when Grandma asked why, he told her that George had pushed him. OH my.

Have I mentioned that my son loves ice cream and that he calls it cream? Last week we went to Izzy's and enjoyed a scoop and then we were off to Choo-CHoo Bob's where we had a lovely time. This week we kept the post Jo-J's high jinks to a minimum and we also had a swimming free week. There's a two week break between sessions and so we'll have this coming week of spring break off as well.

I'd love to write that I'm going to spend oodles of extra time with Quinn this coming week while I'm off school but unfortunately, I'll be doing my capstone. In the end, it will mean a better financial life for the family and Quinn certainly needs us to have our feet under us. Another guy at Luke's work was laid off this week and it feels foreboding...

My Jamas

For the past week, Quinn has been a huge fan of his blue monkey pajamas. Now, normally, that might not be blog worthy, but this is a little boy who typically sleeps in his diaper, or in the clothes he was wearing during the day. He even chose to wear his pajamas to Jo-Jo's on Wednesday. But, with all quirky phases, they come to a surprising end:) Last night he would have nothing to do with his pajamas and was back to life in the buff.

This past week we graduated from swimming lessons, though we all know that participation is the key in these little kid classes. While he definitely made some swimming progress, he certainly didn't bond to the instructor, a sweet high school thing that thought he could try to do rockets, when mostly my son wanted to play with the ball. This week he discovered that he could touch the bottom of the pool with his feet in the shallow end and that was the end to swimming. All he wanted to do was test the waters, if you will, and walk about. Funny kid.

This week we got the Elmo goes Green video to preview. I haven't sad through a whole episode of it, but I need to soon so that I can write up my review. Ah, Paul Rudd. From Clueless in the 90's to Sesame Street today. Quite the professional leap:)

Objects floating around our house: Quinn has been making all sorts of use out of the cardboard from the IKEA beds we recently purchased. The long cardboard has been set up for a long slide for his cars, which was then swiftly crushed when Quinn tried to slide down. Fortunately, that didn't stop the fun. Then, we wanted to fold the cardboard back over us like a blanket. We've wrapped ourselves in it and tried to hide and we've used it for multiple fort-like shapes. You have to love and appreciate how playing with the least expensive thing in the house is the most fun.

Yesterday Luke and Quinn were off to Eagles Nest while I graded. They returned with bulgogi and one tired little boy. It was Wall-E day, but more than that, we played a lot of catch. Quinn is SO funny when he throws. He often ends up spinning completely around when he throws or tucks his head under. It's rare that he can look at you and throw at the same time. The ball sometimes ends up behind him or to the right or left. To his credit, he did a great job of catching:) In Matt's arms, he laughed and laughed when the little beach ball bonked Matt on the head. Even in Matt's arms, he still turns his head away when he throws.

In other Quinn news, my darling son likes to collect pennies and change now and again. His pockets will sometimes he heavy with the change. The other day Matt witnessed him putting pennies in his diaper because he didn't have any pockets. A penny stuck to his foot the other day and that also seemed a convenient travel spot so he was miffed when he couldn't get his foot to attach itself to the coin again (the air dried off his sweaty little foot). Funny, wonderful Quinn.

Fun times at home

Quinn is perched semi-precariously on his father's back, calling his Dad, "Horsey". Now, he's asking for Mommy to ride horsey. My son is wonderful. We just finished up a session of tickling. Quinn likes very much to be tickled, but also like to watch other people tickle one another, SO, it sometimes goes like this, "Mommy tickle Daddy" or vice versa. He will join in too, if he feels the urge. His tickling is the sweetest little movement that doesn't tickle at all, but instead is sweet and funny. He scrunches his hand together and lightly touches the other person. Gentle, loving Quinn.

Quinn rocks

He can put his own boots on. And when he does, he's generally wearing only a diaper. I love watching him clomp around the house in nearly zipped boots, a diaper, a smile and his top. What a funny kid. We bought a bed for Quinn last week and got him Star Wars sheets. He's taken to it pretty well, but I think he's having some adjustment issues to being out of Mommy and Daddy's bed. Kairis is also gone from his life and I think that's thrown him for a loop. She's off to a new daycare and Quinn remains the only boy with a whole new flock of girls. Poor little man.

The new spring season meant that Quinn and I went to the park the other day. We had a terrific time swinging. He was swinging in the big boys swings and liked it when I pushed him. Of course, i was also required to swing next to him so I had double duty. We happily walked around the unfinished hockey rink and the little man ventured into the too muddy baseball fields, prompting him to lose his boot and fall into the mud. Funny kid. We also did some climbing on the playground and this year he is better able to tackle the "ladders" at the park.:) He did manage to fall out of the swing, which was a bummer, because his little rump got too far back in the seat. Thankfully, the wet sand caught his little body.

Laughter

My son is hanging upside down off of the couch while Luke tickles him. He continues to ask to be tickled. He is wearing one of his new football shirts. I have finally given in to his desire to have football shirts. He doesn't have to become a football player, so I shouldn't imagine the t-shirt will shape this life:) All along the front of his shirt are streaks of hot cocoa, or coffee. Quinn really likes the idea of coffee so even though we only purchase cocoa, we entertain the illusion. Lately, he's all about watching the Leap Frog Letters Video. He calls it B C's instead of adding the A. Tonight we're skipping swimming lessons because Mr. Quinn was awake at around 4 last night and never quite got back to sleep. Bummer for us all:) Let's pray for an eventless night of sleeping. Luke is looking exhausted on the couch.

My son loves to be tickled. He may protest and scream, his face turning bright shades of red, but he loves it... and asks for it, "tickle, please". Lately, we're all about pulling. More often than not, that means that the belt from my robe is stretched between parent and son. He loves to be yanked to us, the happy momentum of a 2 year old careening into our arms. We're in a very Star Wars phase lately and if we time things correctly, he may be intrigued enough to jump into a new bed and situation if Star Wars sheets apparel it. Here's hoping:) This evening we made an interesting discovery. Quinn was hiding between the bed and his crib. He called me over to hide with him and when I did, I noticed the "artwork" that adorned almost the whole side of the sheet. He had made large circles and swoops in blue pen all along the side of the bed sheet. I did my best not to smile and laugh and called Luke up to help us discuss it. It wasn't something he did today, so even though he recognized it as his work, it wasn't a fresh action and he was more interested in playing soccer. Speaking of, he is quite the kicker. He hasn't quite absorbed the No Hands rule, but it's not as if we're getting David Beckham on him. He likes to combine chasing the soccer ball from Dad with tumbling, grabbing it with his hands and attacking Dad at the waist. Funny kid.

Boots

Quinn has two pairs of boots. One pair is Brown, Nike and purchased at MOA last year with Nana and Papa. One of the swooshes has been colored in with blue pen by Quinn. The others are blue in the style of Moon boots with a very satisfying giant velcro band around them. Clunkier, but probably warmer, these were given to us by a friend of my Mom's. All winter, we have rotated our affection for these boots. Sometimes Quinn must absolutely wear the brown and other days he'll have nothing but the blue. He often wears boots around the house, wearing only a diaper. Yesterday I came downstairs to find Quinn sprawled out on the couch wearing his Lightning McQueen shirt, diaper and brown boots. He has run from me before I could put his pants on:) I have to admit that the sight of my marvelous son just kickin' it in his boots and top made me laugh. Plus, he had put his boots on by himself!!! I suppose I'll be constantly amazed by what Quinn can accomplish when I'm not around. He even had the right boot on the right feet. When I'm around, Quinn will stand up to put on his boots, grasping my head or hair to support himself, oddly supporting himself with my upper body. Hilarious.

He's "tip-toeing" from the family room to the kitchen where his baby is sleeping on the plastic stool Quinn left her on. Lately, Quinn refers to his baby as his baby sister and asks if Luke and I are going to also have a baby sister. Hilarious.

The other night we had our first "scare" of frostbite. We had a huge snow storm and Quinn, Matt and I were out shoveling. Even though he was bundled in jacket, snowpants, hat and mittens, snow managed to creep into his ankles and wrists and his cheeks were red as well. After we came in, it appeared like those spots were raised and turned slightly white. Naturally, I became gravely concerned, Matt told me to relax and Quinn didn't seem to notice his injuries at all. I jumped on line and researched and once warmed, Quinn was back to normal- thank goodness!

Last night was wearying. Quinn was up around 1:45, hungry, and then struggled to go back to sleep until nearly 4. The poor guy slept in, but I'm not one to sleep in. Once the sun rises, I'm up. Hopefully, as the years go by I'll learn to treasure a lazy Saturday morning.

Quinn and his Dad are off to a downtown skyway golf tournament. They'll take the train, which Quinn loves, and then do some golfing, catch lunch and come home. I, on the other hand, will be here, working on a reflective paper for class. Bleh. I also need to decide on a vision for my blog for my blogging class. What will I write about? The textbook says that using it for a journal is NOT blogging, though I think that since my intent with this one is a record, as opposed to a dialogue, I don't care about the textbook defn.

I'm wrestling with decisions around Quinn's daycare. Right now, he's happy at Jo-Jo's but his best pal, Kairis is leaving at the end of the month and it's still just Quinn and a bunch of little girls. I don't mind him hanging with whoever, but a little gender balance would be terrific. Plus, we're nearing his time for pre-school. I need to determine when to enroll him and where--- and what my summer plans are. I could save a heap of money if I kept him home with me, but that not be what's best for him...

so much to consider!

Don't follow me

This weekend we went to the Children's Museum with Lee, Kris and the Little E's. Quinn was SO happy to be with Ethan and Ellie and his E's were coming out beautifully. He pronounced their names so clearly as he called out to two of them. Quinn wore a workjacket and hat in the Work Center and loved it:) Ellie had a fantastic time playing with the bubbles:)

After the museum, we came back to the house for dinner. Prior to that happy time, Quinn had a minor break down in the parking lot when we had to say a quick goodbye. He cried and cried for Ethan:( Back at the house, he wanted a quick nurse, but when he heard Dad say that Ethan and Ellie were here, he dashed off. And then, the moment came. Coats were off and people were settled into the house. Ethan asked where Quinn's room was and they were off to play upstairs. Quinn was the last one up the stairs and as I went to follow him, he turned and said, "Don't follow, Mommy". My little marvelous, independent man wanted to play without my presence with his two little cousins! When I snuck upstairs later under some random pretext, he gently, but firmly closed his door on me so he could play in private. Goodness! And this was after I let him out of my site at the museum! We were in the work area and I was sitting with Lee and his little ones while we waited to use the crane. Quinn went around the corner to the loading area and I didn't move. Lee asked where he had gone and I pointed around the bend, saying that Luke thought I was too much of a shadow, over-protective. As luck would have it, Quinn popped back in that instant, safe and sound.

Luke and I go back and forth about a second child. This weekend was a reminder that Quinn would be a loving, wonderful sibling and that despite the changes it would bring to our family, it would bring great joy to and fill a need in Quinn's life.

The poor boy was so exhausted from his day with his cousins that he went to bed at 10:30 this morning at Jo-Jo's.

This week we have our conference with the speech therapist to go over the Carolina and see where Quinn falls on the developmental chart. I think he's made enormous strides in his language and that everyday seems to bring new words into his working vocabulary. I relish hearing his articulate how he feels and what we wants. It's also insanely interesting to watch his personality emerge as he doles out his yes's and no's when asked particular questions. Like a glutton for punishment, I will ask him silly questions like, "Do you love Mommy?" and because he knows it vexes me to say no, he'll shake his head, making eye contact with me the whole time with his beautiful mirthful eyes:) He's in this interesting crossroads where he needs me very much, but some other instinct in him wants independence. Of course, this will be the way of things for years to come. Luke would like me to let him play by himself upstairs. I worry that something could happen while he's out of my sight and I could never forgive myself for that. Plus, I feel like the time he has with us is limited and I should spend it well- playing with him and being attentive.

How interesting to discover how much I like to give Quinn things. For a reason I can't recall, Luke and I challenged me to go two weeks without shopping for Quinn. Oh yes, it came after a weekend where Quinn got some new clothes, a new movie and a horse and cow. Granted, the monetary amount wasn't out of this world, but I realized that the instinct to get him things I think will make him happy was strong. What I need to contain though is the pattern that when we go to a store, Quinn comes out of it with something new. Me telling him that there's no money isn't something that will or should register.

Like a Magic 8 Ball

Sometimes Quinn will sometimes shake and shake his head, furiously from side to side, laughing the whole time. Sometimes, when he is trying to express himself, but doesn't have the words to use, he'll shake his head back and forth, like he's trying to jog his memory. He also has a wonderful habit of saying "Umm" prior to a new statement that he really considering:) Everything about his speech lately is exciting and evolving. The sentences his lengthening, just like his vocabulary keeps growing. It is such fun to conversate with him! Of course, he also has developed a really fantastic ability to ignore things we say, even if we're speaking right next to him, at his level. Right now, he wants me to run with him. He races- faster and faster- around the house. We also have started pushing carts around the house, shopping for groceries. We spend a large amount of time placing make believe cookies in our cart. The colanders are still the funniest hat he attempts to wear, but that doesn't mean he won't place an empty paper towel roll or other obscure items on his head and call them hats. We now own a tennis racket and balls and we broke down and purchased his first football t-shirt since Nana and he watched the football movie with The Rock this past weekend. Nana is convinced he needs to make it through all the classic disney movies before 2011 and the big trip; I think we could all live without Cinderella in our life:) 'Course, maybe I'm a jaded gen-x feminist gal:)

George and Tennis

There's a wonderful symmetry to parenting. Luke and I seem to balance one another when it comes to care, sympathy and patience. If one of us is overly tired or exasperated, the other is there to offer Quinn the attention and love that the other is temporarily unable to give:) Other times, Luke and I revel in being on the exact same page as we enjoy our son to his fullest. Last night was one of those merry nights where Quinn was SUPER energetic at bed-time and couldn't stop chattering about tennis, who would play it, when, where and what-not. His enthusiasm and relentless discussion of tennis was so endearing and fun that Luke and I hid behind our mutual smiles so that Quinn wouldn't think we were laughing at him. The bedroom was filled with the kind of priceless joy that comes from loving something so innocent and marvelously impulsive that you can't stopper it. Bedtime was a little pushed back because of his chatty fun, but it was worth it for some moments of shared mirth.

Quinn LOVES his Curious George movie. He laughs and laughs when George and the man in the yellow hat eat fire flies and their tongues turn green. He cries and moans when they take George away. His emotions are very real and when the two are reunited he is relieved and happy.