Lily is laying under her IKEA toy. She's grown so much lately that she can firmly hold the hanging toys in her hands. Her legs kick and tense themselves as she engages. Nursing with Lily is such a funny experience. She stops often to turn her head and examine the world. She's just as likely to stop, just so she can look up at me and make eye contact, smiling as her eyes follow me. She's talking a ton right now, gabbing enthusiastically. She's wearing 6-9 month clothes and we're trying to navigate the changing seasons. She speaks in long phrases and sentences, with expressive grunts and enthusiasm. She has an easy smile each time I come home from work. I have to work for smiles a bit harder when she's sleep deprived. She does love her Daddy but she seems at ease with me, despite my long hours at work. She has never had a tense bath that I can think of. She remains a marvel when it comes to bed time and turning to her side and sucking her finger. She loves to grab her toes now. Sometimes, Luke will prop her up and she sits forward, reaching. She's toppled forward a couple times, but she always seems moving forward, quickly. Luke worries a bit that she will be the type to skip crawling altogether. We discuss how Quinn has his father's temperament and might well be cool with B's, even when capable of A's, but that Lily will be driven and intense, like her mother. Who knows how much of this is authentic evaluation of our children and how much we're projecting. Either way, we love them as they are.

"That was so close"
"Good job guys"
"I have an idea!"

Quinny is standing on the blue nursing pillow and working on his balance, alternately saying, "Whoa, Whooa, Whoa!!" He's wearing the tops to his buzz light year pajamas and playing with this Star Wars Legos. We recently returned from a trip to Le Sueur where Father and Son raided the cubby hole and brought back with them a fleet of new SW toys, including tapes and books. Fortunately, Luke was able to find the recordings on line as the tapes were in sad shape. Quinn enjoys listening to the stories and turning the pages when he hears the beep beep of R2D2.

This morning Lily, Quinn and I were snuggling in the big bed and Quinn asked us all to hug one another. And then, with his head tucked against his little sister, Quinn reported that "we have the best family ever!"

My son is delightfully tall. I see him laying on the bed upstairs for his afternoon nap and he's more than half the length of the bed. His long, thin legs are so wonderful to watch as he runs. Yesterday we ran together to the park, along with Kate, the daughter of Shane, the friend of Luke's from high school that I am encouraging to apply for the CAHS position. Quinn talks so very much and I love the sound of his voice. He has so many directions to give, insights to offer and these statements might be punctuated with a line like: "that's the point, Mom". He continues to be very devoted to his Mother and can be quite devastated if I ever have to scold him or yell. Even if I don't yell, he approximates the experience of being reprimanded by me as being "yelled" at and he sobs quite terribly. Poor boy.

Lily has such a define little personality, intense and adorable. She continues to sleep well (knock on wood) at night and also continues her pattern of not sleeping for lengthy naps during the day. She has developed unhappiness around strangers and this has created some complexes among the grandmothers. But, my mom was patient with her today and has had a better time of it with her. We also think it has to do with scents and she has a response to strong ones.

Luke may be on the cusp of something great professionally, in partnership with his mother. I almost can't let myself feel the joy of two paychecks once again because that might mean dealing with the stress of the past year and that's something I have deeply compartmentalized. The new job causes me both stress and joy. I had two successful intakes the other day and at the same time, feel like I am always waiting for permission or guidance when I would rather have autonomy to make decisions for myself. But, this is what the job is and I will learn to be patient and smart about bringing decisions to the powers that be. If they don't know about it, perhaps that is all the better, right?

Quinn and I have been romping together at the Great River Water Park pool, much to his delight. He loves to throw himself forward into the water, even if it means some bruised knees. He also loves to b thrown, swung back and forth to a one-two-three count and then sent splashing into the water. He's quite adorable to watch enthusiastically imitating some sort of dog paddle. He loves the little slides there and revels in the open space. He also likes the outdoor pool at HIghland, but not quite so much as the indoor spot. I like not having to lather up in serious sunblock. As I've purchased the Aquatics pass, we'll be swimming often to make that money worthwhile.

Life is chaotic and busy. My work at the new job is keeping me forever thinking and doing. Yesterday I had my Campus training, did lots of correspondence, made calls, etc. Gracious! It's so surreal to me that my maternity leave is hardly one at all. That first month I did center on Lily and little much of anything else aside from the family. But, about mid-June, the pace of life just accelerated and hasn't slowed. We've found a house and signed a purchase agreement. That was a chore and a half to cart poor Lily from house to house in the mornings. When we weren't doing that, I've been taking meetings almost every morning so I can connect with staff and get rolling in my new digs. It's difficult for me to imagine myself in charge of the school but I am hopeful I can do it well. I've connected with the majority of the staff and will be patient with those who are still not engaging.

Lily continues to prove that her personality it very different from her brother's. She can be very intense when it comes to being sleepy and not wanting to drift off. She will not nurse herself to sleep 9 times out of 10 and she won't relax into nursing unless she's really hungry. Otherwise, she'll snack and then develop a bubble and be very upset. There are methods to caring for her though and they simply require more heavy lifting than Luke or I was used to with Quinn.

We're working on the Cars for Poop project right now and if Quinn goes in the potty he gets a new Cars car. It's turning out to be an expensive project to support, but I hope it works. The star wars project was a total wash since we had set it up to be too complex. Then, we just ended up giving him the legos for small markers, even though the cost of the set was high. We went to lunch yesterday at S. Clair broiler and then walked down to Peapod. Gracious, that's a dangerous store. They have so many cool kids toys and items. Lily got herself a beautiful wooden rattle and Quinn walked away with the Melissa and Doug cookie set, as well as a set of placemats for the table.

Quinn continues to have a nightly waffle and fruit snack. It turns out he'll eat oranges and strawberries, but only at school. Quinn is back in vacation bible school with Grandma this week and made me a sheep and for the first time seemed to indicate that it was for me. When I walked into the classroom yesterday to pick him up he was really sweetly and with great focus, playing with Noah's ark. Cute. We are listening to his cd quite often and no one can get the SonQuest songs our of their head.

Lily has striped her poor little head with bald spots due to her swinging hands. When she stirs or gets tired, she swipes her hands against her head and its caused some bald spots. It looks almost like she's divided her head into two parts- top and bottom. Funny little girl. She likes to hold toys now and enjoys the little dragon fly from her chair. She loves to stare at the IKEA fish we have hanging from the fan and she likes the wooden frame dealio we got at IKEA the other week. She loves to talk and jibber jabber and is an enthusiastic kicker. There are very few nursing sessions where her legs actually stop moving. The night nurses are the most relaxing as she will actually lay still and snuggle next to me. Lily loves when I sing to her and more often than not, when I approach her for the first look or moment, she brightens and smiles when she sees me. She is certainly growing and putting on weight, but not too terribly. She is good about standing up with our help and LUke has recently started popping her in the boppy chair. I'm doing all I can to pump and have bottles ready. I'm not ahead by much more than a bottle at a time so I need to work really vigilantly on that for the school year. She takes a bottle beautifully though without any complaint and Luke has started to crave the simplicity of that. For me, however, if I'm here, I'm not going to give up to the bottle. She's already a huge fan of her nook and needs that to settle into sleep.

Quinn had a major meltdown yesterday when we came back from errands after picking him up from school. He wanted to watch a movie, I expect, and we said no because it was time for a nap. He threw his Sheriff car and we took it from him. He was devastated and worked himself into quite a tearful state. Luke worked with him, as I had to feed the Lilster, who was committing in her usual noncommittal fashion to the meal, and he wanted Quinn to be calm when he saw me-- as he wanted me. When he gets into that breathless hyperventilating state Luke does his best to model breathing and to get him to calm down. I held Quinn a very long time and we talked together. It can really devastate the poor lad when he perceives me to be angry with him or having yelled at him, sensitive soul. Ok, must sleep. More later.

Oh, the joys and heart ache of parenthood. Quinn was back in this week to see Sekhon to check on his ears. She also did a full check of reflexes and the works. She detected a tightness in one of his ankle cords and in cooperation with his speech and low muscle concerns, she believes its possible that he has a very mild case of cerebral palsy. The news was very alarming to me, even as Luke did his best to express that Sekhon said this was not something to worry about. But, when you look online, the reasons for this occurring all point to some role I had to play in Quinn's life, active or otherwise. Did the long labor, which caused his torticollis, bring on this condition? Did something go amiss while he grew in my belly? Uggh. I look at this phenomenal little man who I adore with everything in me and I don't want him to have any more physical challenges. So, we're off to Gilette's Hospital for a consultation and hopefully we'll learn more-- including news that he does not have CP. His speech therapist says he's made good progress and has the sounds he needs for when he's 5 and 6 and 7, but doesn't have the K and G sounds he is meant to have at age 4. We're up for evaluation for HP coverage and she's going to lobby for more time. The CP would likely result in physical therapy sessions. Ah, the sweet world of co-pays.

Poor Lily had a terrible cold this week and had quite the runny nose, cough and sneezing fit. We had a very active weekend though and so that may have lowered her defenses. She's come out of it well though and seems to have turned the corner. Yesterday she had a really good visit with Matthea while Luke and I were out looking at houses. She is doing so very well holding objects and likes in particular her dragon fly from the bouncy chair. She also loves watching her black and white rattle and will hold it herself. Lily continues to get up twice a night and Luke and I have a good system in place for us all. She engaged in some longer, more relaxed nursing this week while she was ill and I confess that it felt like some quality bonding to help her to feel more comfortable and improve her health. Of course, now she's back to more abbreviated feedings and loves to kick while nursing, which is so NOT relaxing to me as I try and make sure she doesn't catapult herself off the pillow. She continue to be a total pro when it comes to the bottle and that sort of freedom and responsibility for me is odd. I struggle to find time to calmly pump and every ounce seems like gold to me. With only a month left of summer, I've got to get a collection going so that she'll be ok when I return to school. Alright, must get ready for Paul's visit this morning to write up our offer on the Benson place.

more later.

Antics at the river with Quinn
OUr first playdate with McCall at our place
Quinn and Dad wrestling
Quinn's bummer carpet burn
More fun at the pool and lake
Lily bumping up into 6 mo onesies.
Lily watching her fish and the new IKEA toy
Lily likes my singing

My children are very different from one another. While they looking strikingly like the other, their personalities really vary. It has been a challenge for me to reconcile how different Lily is from the infant Quinn, especially because she needs new skills from me, aside from the ability to nurse. For Quinn, nursing was the answer to every dilemma. For comfort, to sleep, to eat... it all meant he loved to nurse and relaxed into it. Lily can kick her way through a whole nursing session and only does it because she knows she has to. If she's not hungry, she's not nursing, even if she's tense and tired. At night, she'll have a longer, more peaceful nurse, but I assume this is simply because she's already half asleep. If she has a bubble or gas, she'll refuse to eat until it's taken care of. Now, one one hand, Lily has taken a bottle several times and is a pro at it now. This means I have the freedom to leave the house and take care of non-Mommy business. On the other hand, I feel less needed and even when she does nurse, I don't necessarily feel wanted. My darling girl smiles and talks when we interact and I sing to her and this is a saving grace. Who ever thought my singing would be something that would yield such warm fuzzies:) Quinn continues to be on the children's version of an emotional roller coaster as he processes the changes to his life with a sister. Some days are really uneventful and others seem speckled with his struggle. We've gotten an aquatics pass for the city water parks and this activity helps, but it does contribute to the above dilemma of not feeling necessary to Lily. I can take Quinn swimming and he loves the one on one time with me, but if I've worked that morning at school, I roll right into the afternoon with little time with her. She does love a new toy we picked up at IKEA and is really fascinated with it. She's just so much more independent of me than her brother. Quinn could nurse for hours it seemed. I'm glad we kept Quinn in preschool for the summer even if he's arrived there on time maybe once. It is a nice consistency to his day, even if arrival varies. Yesterday I trucked down to my Mom's place so I could keep myself awake (Quinn wouldn't nap) and had dinner with her. Lily continues to find her somewhat disagreeable, for whatever reason and the poor girl is bound to hear that story from Grandma from years to come, like its personal or something:) Quinn loves watching Bolt recently and I admit that it's a pretty clever film, despite Miley Cyrus being a voice. Quinn persists in his diaper wearing and I am thankful that the pediatrician told me not to try anything with vigor until Lily was 6 months old because its just too much going on. His chatter continues to be very fun to listen to. He's very adept at setting a series of sequential objectives for us. "We'll go to school and then you'll pick me up and then we'll go to the shopping store and get my fruit snacks and then we'll come home and watch a movie, K?" Yesterday he chose to pack his own dinner to take to Grandma's. He didn't eat the dinner, but it was a cute act of independence (the packing, that is). He remains pretty laid back about clothes selection with only the occasional protest about what he's wearing. He LOVES his new tennies, a fabulous lime green and grey pair of North face shoes. He says they make it so he's faster and can jump higher and that's true. He's quite dapper in them. His knees and shins are a canvas for summer scrapes and bruises and he is largely unphased by them unless he happens to be tired and notices them once again. His love for elbows and ears continues, but mostly just in the sleepy, needy moments of the day. He does want me to sit with him and watch a movie, or watch him throw himself belly first onto the bed or ottoman or couch. He loves that leaping idea. He also likes to show me how he can step down from the ottoman. I've said it often enough that he identifies those actions as meaning he has strong legs or arms. Pretty cool. His reading of books is becoming more and more engaged. He has to know what's happening in the detail with the illustrations and he often takes the book from my hands now to study the picture and make sure it aligns with the words. Lily has been a trooper and a half with the house hunting and will head out on her third trip with Paul, Luke and I tomorrow morning to look at homes. We really like one on Blair but I can't let myself get lost in the desire in case the financing doesn't come through. It will be at the closing or in the days leading up to the closing that my heart will really start to race with the reality of it all. I'm working very hard at my new job and I keep telling myself when I have to leave the baby in the morning that it's for the family that I'm doing all of this. I don't know if its the second child thing or Lily specifically and her temperament, but I don't feel panic in leaving her for a bit. I was all nerves whenever I was away from Quinn as an infant and didn't spend a night away from him for 2-3 years. Now, I can go to work and while I have guilt- of course- I get through it. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I love my children very much-- both of them-- but if I want this house for them then I have to be good at my job so I keep it and the money comes in. I don't know when Luke will have a job again and I have to be the breadwinner-- and make good bread. Alright, better try and head back to bed before Lily wakes for her early morning feeding. Seriously, the girl gets up just twice the whole night! How wonderful and strange and amazing!

My daughter is all rolls and folds and a crooked smile when her head comes to read on her shoulder or mine. She has beautiful eyes and I spend lots of time holding her in front of the mirror so I can watch her peaceful little face. While she's been a bit more fussy lately, she is still nearly always calm in my arms. She is going through a phase where she wants to be held by Mom and Dad as opposed to others, but this seems normal to me developmentally. She now knows who we are and likes our presence. Everyone else seems like a stranger and that's reasonably alarming for an infant who craves safety and closeness. Quinn was away for the night with Nana and Papa and we'll meet up with them at Lee and Kris' after they go to the parade. Quinn has been a talking wonder lately and loves when I sing to him my made up songs like, "Quinn is jumping on the bed..." He is quite hilarious. He quoted his Dad yesterday describing his tent as "nice and cozy". He is making good progress is speech and we're being better about working with him on his homework. There are two more sessions of summer school and then he'll be home full-time for a bit. Last week he and I went to the public pool over at Minnehaha Park and I had a hoot watching his playful and carefree habits. He had with him his birthday present from June, these torpedo things for the water. He threw them into the water and a herd of kids gathered to chase them around. Some drama ensued among the kids who wanted in on Quinn's action, but my son was completely oblivious to it all and jumped around putting wet foot prints on the cement and using a rock bench of sorts to jump up with his hands propping him. So many times lately he wants to show us that he's hopping on one foot, or stepping down from the tall ottoman or trying to stretch his legs so he climbs two or three stairs at a time. In other news, he did earn his Commander Cody because he pooped in the potty. When he did that, however, he didn't have his penis tucked in and so he also peed also down his leg, soaking his sock and shoe. Yesterday, we made our seasonal trip to REI and purchased a new pair of outdoor shoes. They're quite cool looking and he was super pumped about their fit; this was a good thing considering he had walked into the store wanting Star Wars shoes and he came out light on his feet, able to run and leap faster:) Nachos are a new fun snack for Quinn. He still has a pretty narrow palate, but he eats enough healthy things periodically that we choose not to get stressed about it. We need to expand the family meal plan period, so I can't say Quinn is to blame for his culinary choices. He's not interested in trying new things, but we do our part in that we occasionally introduce new things.

Lily had learned the comfort of a lengthy nursing. She spent the first two months very practical about the whole thing and expedient. Now, she can relax into it and nurse for a bit. Her 5-6 hour sleep periods have for the last couple of days traded for 3-4 hours, but the joy of LUke putting her to bed every night is super awesome. She doesn't nurse herself to sleep in the evenings like her brother, so I have the freedom to put Quinn to bed, which I like very much. Luke and I had two meals out and about with each other this weekend and Lily was a pretty good date companion. Sweet girl. I find that I do like when she looks especially cute in a special outfit. With Quinn, I thought he looked dashing and adorable in anything-- what were my choices, anyway, but with Lily there are so many options out there-- like two distinct wardrobes. We'll see how this plays out over the years. Lily too really enjoys when I sing to her and she talks and talks with her lovely little voice. Her smile is so bright and her face so animated when we talk back and forth. Sometimes it seems almost like she's trying to sing with me and I have to hold myself back from interrupting her:)

So busy:) The world of house hunting and buying is quite intense and lately, mornings and mind power have all been devoted to this task. We're meeting with a second realtor tomorrow in search of a good match for our search. Then, we get to start looking at houses. On one hand, it's an ideal time for Luke to be home so we can do this together. On the other hand, we have definite financial needs that are coming to a head. With his unemployment done, we're in a pickle financially and it will make paying a mortgage impossible. Still, we forge ahead and pray that all will work out.

Lily is blessing us with long sleep sessions at night and is happy to have her father put her to sleep each night. For the first time today she had a really lengthy feeding, but otherwise, she is typically Miss Efficiency. Quinn had a series of lovely birthday celebrations starting with a great bash at Eagle's Nest with his preschool pals. It was a great celebration with the friends and parents-- and we timed things well with food and whatnot. Quinn has been catapulted into the Galactic Heroes series of Star Wars materials and likes them very much. This was compliments of Tony, one of his St. Kate's pals. He was also joined at the party by McCall, June, Luke, Max, ND, Owen and Ben. It was a super nice time. Sunday, Father's Day, was a day at Newell Park with the Edberg's and we had gorgeous weather and traipsed through Como Zoo and then back to the park for leftovers. Everyone had a nice time so we were glad that our hosting duties went well. On his actual day, we took him to see Toy Story 3 and had Noodles for dinner, his favorite. Yesterday was the final bash with the McCammon's and we got an ice cream cake from Izzy's, which was divine. All in all, I believe we rang in his new year with lots of attention and expense:) Still, the poor lad suffers somewhat now that Lily is here, though he does love her and has adjusted as well as we could have hoped. Our bed routine is pretty set now and that sort of predictability for him has to help. We've gone a week now without major protestation about going to school and that is a positive thing; before, i think he wanted to stay home with us and saw that Lily had that privilege. We're coming up on a long weekend for the 4th so we'll see what happens.

The kids had their respective appts. this week for 2 months and 4 years. Poor Quinn described his shot as sharp and was quite saddened by it. Lily also disliked her 3 shots and one oral vaccine. Her check up was smooth sailing and she's weighing in the the 94%. Quinn is also fit as a fiddle and making good progress. Unfortunately, she noticed issues in both his ears and his right eye so we're off to the specialists post haste. Of course, we'd be making these visits anyways because of my issues, but now we have some cause other than heredity. Uggh.

After re-reading some sections from the Sleep Book, I am newly invested in providing Lily with the understanding and routine that she needs to sleep well. Of course there's no schedule at this age, but we can build in some regularity to her world, as best as possible. I want her to be able to be out and about without worrying too much about her "schedule", but I also need her to got to sleep close to Quinn's bedtime, if possible. Respecting how she sleeps and how long it takes her to get into deep sleep has helped the past week or so and we've been rewarded with two 5 hour blocks of sleep the past two nights. She is also going to bed earlier. I am starting to be more aware of what to look for when she begins to tire and get cranky and I do my best to get her to a quiet space when she needs it. Quinn too is getting up closer to his normal sleep time and going to bed earlier than a week or so ago.

Quinn is still showing signs of needing Mom and Dad's presence and attention, which is normal. Yesterday, the first half of the day felt like I always had to say, "just one minute" or "hold on" and that made me feel terrible because it was always due to needing to do something for Lily. On the other end, Lily spends a decent amount of time in her little chairs or propped up, staring at moving objects or listening to music. She needs the quiet time, yes, but it does feel like both children need more than I can give at any given moment. With that said, I do try when I am having solo time with each of them to be as doting and attentive as possible. Sometimes, in Quinn's case, he just wants to know that I am here as a passive, but present part of his day.

I think we're coming to the end of Quinn's bout with hand, foot and mouth disease. We wrongly thought his swollen lip and reluctance to eat was about picking too much of his lip skin off or biting some part of his mouth, but he actually had terrible ulcerations in his mouth from the virus. We've spoiled him with food that is cool and easy on his mouth, but he is slowly but surely going back to his normal foods.

Quinn is saying I love you much more often lately and doing it without solicitation from me. He also can get quite upset with us and say things like, "I'm not your Mommy anymore" etc. He has this thing about whipping his stuffed animals around. On one hand, maybe this is supposed to be an ok expression of anger and frustration and I'd rather he hit toys than people, but it also seems somewhat disrespectful of his property and we want him to treat his things well. I know there are lessons and exceptions in this moment...

Lily has quite an emerging personality and likes to smile and laugh when doted on. Luke like to give her kisses and then make fun noises and he backs away and opens his mouth wide open. He has her trained to open her mouth wide like his when he backs away and makes the sound:) Lily continues to be a really easy bather and has no stress about it. She's got folds aplenty on her plump little figure and we try to get in there and keep her fresh:)

Quinn has become really agreeable and accepting of his morning routine. I suspect this is connected to feeling better but also to waking up on her own as opposed to us pressuring him to wake for school. To be clear, pressuring maybe overstates it a bit since both Luke and I know he's Luke's son when it comes to the morning and waking up. Both yesterday and today, Quinn woke up before me and waited patiently for me to rouse myself. When I finally decided to wake up and turned toward him, he smiled at me with bright eyes and said "good morning". I do like when things I do on a regular basis, like saying "good morning" and beginning the day happily, come back to me in his behavior. I know that the opposite will be true too, but I revel in his mimicking of positive behavior.

Now that the school year is officially over, I need to start thinking about planning for the new year in a way that will keep me sane. A part of me is even thinking of applying for a TOSA position to lead our school. It would be a great deal of work and change-- challenging me in many ways-- but it might mean less work at home and that could be just what I need in this new year. I think that most everything that the job entails I could learn, though certainly not all of it would be desirable. But, I could put my own spin on it. I will talk more with Caleb to see if it's even worth applying.

In the next couple of years I need to start the National Board Certification for Teachers. It will be a good experience to tighten up my pedagogy and keep me on my toes and the pay bumps will also be a good thing for the family. Alright, I better go and try to write a portion of this novel. The kids continue to make me happy and grateful for life. Walks down by the river with Lily in the past two days have been very centering. We go half way through Quinn's nap and it makes for some good down time for me and for Luke.

Next week I have the housing classes in the evenings and that should be plenty to set my mind racing. Still, a house or housing will happen and I have a job and i am grateful. My kids are well fed and content and Luke is a very good father. I must count my blessings every day!

She's been surrounded by more noise in these 6 weeks than I probably allowed Quinn to experience in the first year. She's been out and about in the world 10x more than her big brother. He was the picture of mellow. He ate and slept and looked divine. She eats, but fast and efficiently and even then, her leg might be kicking, she gets flooded out by milk and has to stop and burp... she's a very different child. In her moments of calm, which are not rare, she looks around curious at the world and is very engaged. She follows sounds, locks eyes with her Dad or I and makes cooing noises and imitates speech. She tries to push up on her feet now and again when being held, and likes to be held while listening to the lullabies Dave Mathews CD. She has started to sleep in the crib now and again and handles it well. More often than not though, she sleeps next to one of us on the diaper changing pad, which serves as her own private co-sleeper with raised sides. She can go through 6 diapers in 20 minutes depending on her stomach's condition. With Luke, she managed to pee in her own mouth once. He had her legs raised to wipe her bottom and at that moment, well, magic:) Yesterday, Lily and Grandma and I headed to a rainy River Hills Day garage sale event. She slept through the whole rainy time and woke up in the car to have one of her rare spit ups. I am experiencing parenting with such a different attitude this time around. I can see a time when Lily can spend the night away from me and it won't be as terrifying as it was with Quinn. Her brother was 2, maybe 3 when he first went on an overnight. Granted, it will be some time before she's ready to go that many hours way with the whole bottle deal, but it will happen and a part of me will welcome the chance to have a solo night again with Quinn. This past night, Quinn was with Chris and Sheryl and Lily went to bed late- as is her pattern- but she slept really well throughout the night and well into the morning. It's 11 now and she's still sleeping:) Sweet girl. Lily is often plagued by hiccups, poor girl. She has the typical baby acne and coming off of some hot days last week, she had some heat rash. In her baby plumpness she has the many folds around her neck and face. Her second chin is quite pronounced:) She has marvelous baby toes that look like tiny fingers. When she is still somewhat alert and not yet in deep sleep, her toes and fingers show it. Her toes curl or her fingers splay... it's all very cute. Loving my children and being there for them both is a full time job, but one I would not trade. The other day I remarked that all people should have the profound privilege of holding a baby in their arms while they sleep. The total trust and dependence in that moment is overwhelming and lovely. While there may be stress and issues in life that need attending to, you can't take yourself away from that zen moment with a baby.

The newest movie craze in our household is "The Fantastic Mr. Fox". Luke brought it home because of his affection for Wes Anderson films and Quinn adores it. Last night we had the end of the year picnic at Quinn's preschool. It was a nice time and we had really pleasant visits with Susan and John, our former mentor couple, and fellow parents to kids at St. Kate's. I dropped off invites to Quinn's preschool buddies today for his 4th birthday party. How wild to think that he will soon be 4. This is his first party with pals and I hope he will be a gracious host to all. We picked up two new Little Miss and Mr. books at Barnes today because Quinn is all about them lately. He continues to use the phrase "last morning" to refer to anything past tense and he also quotes the mail man who "told him" this, that and the other thing that is contrary to what Luke and I might say. For example, if I said that he needs to take a bath, the mail man has probably indicated to Quinn that he should not. Hilarious and odd. Quinn has a couple days off school now and then the summer session begins and he gets to do the bilingual program. Luke and I need to learn Spanish so we can converse with him. We should get a CD...

We checked out a townhouse today on Selby in the Cathedral Hill neighborhood, just down the street from the St. Paul Cathedral. It's 3 levels and has central ac, a dishwasher and an attached garage. I need to remind myself of those amenities when I start to think about the space issues and layout of the new place. Moving is so stressful. On a reliving and happy note, I received from retro pay from school that makes our life a bit more financially sound, and i am grateful for that.

Lily remains a joy to hold. She tries to prop her head up quite often and kicks with her legs to climb her way up her caretaker. She sits up happily, propped against someone or something. She is making good progress with lengthier bouts of sleep. Speaking of, since he just went down I should go to bed and catch as much of this window as possible.

Loving my children and Luke so very, very much.

A Moment in time

My son is a poor listener. He is nearly 4 and this is totally normal and a good reminder that I am infallible and perhaps not all that interesting to listen to, BUT, it can be infuriating. He thinks he is funny and he does not do it to be mean, but I do think he has a sense of how we respond if he pushes our buttons. Lily just kicked off her sock for the second time in the last minute.

Ode to Edie

Had our 4 week post partum appt. with Edie today. How strange to think that this amazing woman who has helped our family develop and come to be won't be with us on a regular basis any longer. She was really appreciative of our thank you letter and hugged me when she left. She knows we intend to stop with two children, so it's not likely that we'll be seeing her any time soon. Still, she was a wonderful woman who was funny, light hearted, knowledgeable and a great fit for Luke and I. What a blessing she was to our whole family. Go midwives!

Dear Lily,

You're sleeping in the boppy right now and allowed me to take a marvy little nap AND shower all while we await your father's return with your brother from school. it was a smooth day in the Beck household as Quinn made it to school without a single breakdown and your father and I ran some necessary errands and returned home by 11:00 for the day. Dad and I got in some more Rescue Me episodes. We're on Season 4 right now and enjoying our Netflix wireless deal. If you grow up to love Denis Leary's humor or happen to have a really profane mouth, we'll know why. The mystery of how to properly cut an infant's finger nails remains and your poor little face shows scratches from my inability to get it right. I'm trying..

You remain impressive in your ability to cruise through diapers. We're going to try out diapers.com and see if we like the delivery service and if the discounts, coupons and "convenience" make it worth while. We've been spoiled by Quinn's pull up phase, where he will wear a diaper all day long without complaint. You are growing and growing, developing squeezable cheeks, arms and legs and I'll be excited to know your weight when we go to next week's appt. Tomorrow you will be three weeks old:)

Your Dad loves to imitate your sounds, give you kisses and hold you close. You had a stellar night of sleeping last night, giving me a 4 hour window! Your random alert sounds that signal that nothing is wrong continue. You took another bath last night with your brother in the tub. We set your tub in his, though he wishes you would just join him in the regular tub. You fall asleep during your baths and are incredibly relaxed by it all.

Alright, you're shifting about now, so I'll pick you up.

Loving you,
Mom

Dear Lily,

There is no greater joy than holding you or your brother in my arms. Even as my mind tells me to put you down and try to sleep, I ignore that impulse, kiss you again on the top of your head, put my cheek to your soft cheek and lean back against the pillows, holding you for a moment longer. Your face is so expressive and fun. Your cries can be shrill, but they are short lived. Your assortment of noises has your father making barn yard sounds in impersonation, though it is only with affection that he does so. You are proving to be so flexible and easy, making the adjustment for your father and I smooth. You travel with us to bring Quinn to school and have been shopping a half dozen times in your two short weeks of life:) Last night I held both you and your brother in my arms while reading the three Little Bears. For the past few nights, your brother has slept with us in the big bed while your father is in Quinn's bed. You don't make too much noise and Quinn has been able to sleep through our feedings. You are calmed by the nook, but we're trying not to overuse it because it fusses with your latch. You sleep soundly in your boppy, but we are learning that you like to make a sundry of small noises that do not mean that you are waking. You are also known for a louder, plee-like cry that does not indicate you are waking. Your small hands can be very active and at times you raise both arms above your head in a beautiful stretch. Your Dad is doing his duty and having you work on tummy time and neck strength. Nana was here yesterday for a short visit and shared that everyone was quite taken with you at the May birthday/Tink confirmation event. They think you are quite beautiful:) Your hair is thick and full, but likes to take on a sheen after just one day post bath. Most of this probably comes from the oil in our hands, as we are constantly holding or stroking your hair. Quinn is very attached to you and bathes you in his kisses. Sometimes that means kissing your head, your legs or your feet- he doesn't discriminate. He likes to hold you and tells you to calm down when you are sad or fussy. He is good about telling us to hold you if you are upset and has even offered you his nipple so that you could try and nurse from him. I am so proud of him for how wonderfully he has accepted you into the family;) Last night the family had breakfast for dinner and I sat in the living room nursing you watching Dad and son sit across from one another scarfing down eggs and pancakes and I was warmed by the normalcy of our life. You are such a lovely child and have made adding another member to our family to delightful. Loving you more each day and loving that feeling!

Dear Lily,

I'm not not writing about you because I don't have things to say. The thing is, with your brother, I was half lucid in my journaling scribbles and in your case, I am doing my best to take care of myself physically, which means sleeping more for both of our sakes. So, the ramblings of a woman who is sleep deprived are absent, though that doesn't mean that I don't take you in with wonder each moment of the day. You are lovely to behold and to hold. Your sweet full cheeks and expressive face fill me with gratitude and love. I am blessed to be your mother and thankful for your relaxed nature. Of course, your relaxed nature could be a result of your mother being infinitely calmer this time around. You are much smaller than we expected, but we enjoy the freedom to hold you without straining our arms or backs:) You can be wrapped up snuggly in a blanket and rest comfortably in the Boppy. Despite your misery with your first cold, you are still a very mellow baby. You are a good nurser, though at times you conk out after a quick feed, leading you to want to eat sooner rather than later. Still, you are an easy sleeper in the arms of those who love you and patient with your brother's kisses and holds on your sweet self. Your skin is peeling here and there, but in many places, you've shed that baby layer and all that remains is your soft, marvelous skin. You've enjoyed your two baths so far, despite a chilly rinse on the first one. I am more able to diaper and change you without anxiety because I've done it before. We've not settled into a permanent sleeping situation, but typically you and I sleep together and Quinn has been known to join us in whatever bed we end up in. You've not slept far from us on any occasion and this is due to our desire to hear you breathe and have you near. I sleep bette when I know I can look up at any moment and see you safe. Last night I awoke to one of my children sleeping right next to me with his/her arm resting on mine and for an instant I thought it was you, but rousing myself, realized the familiar face was your brother's. You two do have so many common features. That is excepting, of course, your gorgeous head of hair that I am constantly stroking. The hair is so long on the sides that I am always tucking it behind your ears. It's a whole new level of upkeep for me as a parent. Your brother and Dad are playing Star Wars Legos right now while you sleep in your father's arms. You've not been awake much today so I don't know how tonight will go. No matter:) You are a wonderful addition to the family and my heart is filled with joy and peace when I look at you. Thank you for being healthy and well, for being mellow and low-maintenance and I look forward to many adventures as you hit new milestones:)

Well, still no arrival of baby and I feel what most mothers likely feel which is a cross between wanting to NOT be pregnant any longer and not wanting necessarily to start the whole infant need process. Do I want to be without rest and uncomfortable because I have had the baby or because I haven't? Is there greater joy or relaxation in spending these final days with just one child and our happy trio or will there be a different, but lovely happiness to a new baby being here to see and love, even amidst new diapers, feedings and whatnot?

Yesterday was a lovely day. I was happy to be able to attend my shower at Asha's and it was a very sweet affair. Asha had everyone bring a dish to share and the bounty of leftovers came home with me, filling my freezer with goodness and love. It was delightful to see Nielsen and to see our three mothers together. Beth, Megan, Bobbi, and Sheryl rounded out gang and it was a pleasant affair. We decorated onesies, visited and had an overall mellow time. Megan crafted a really gorgeous quilt for the baby and had a sundry of other beautiful gifts. We received gifts we needed to supplement our baby girl readiness, along with heaps of good will and love. Afterwards I was able to spend quality time chatting with Asha and Jen and returned home for a lovely evening with Quinn. My son was all about some quality one on one time with Mom, so he and I went to the Noodle Store together (Noodles and Co.), then to Lund's for a few groceries and then to the Ice Cream store (Izzy's) for our dessert treat. He was incredibly well behaved throughout and seemed all to happy to have me to himself.

I have all of my thank you's taken care of for the shower and feel terrific about honoring everyone's love and also being on top of things before I cease to have full use of my brain. To be fair, I think my brain is a little bit scattered. Last night was a rough night of sleep, mixed with traces of anxiety. I should have probably taken one of the pills they sent home with me, but it feels odd to take something medicinal when I so rarely so anymore.

I am trying to imprint in my mind moments with the trio. Today Quinn and his Dad did some dish washing together. Quinn was wearing his green t-short which runs a little long. His pants were absent because we had just changed a full diaper. With Quinn on the stool, he is just a head shorter than his father. They were working together and Quinn's industry around his dishwashing was a delight to see, as well as Luke's focused attention to model and teach. Earlier today Quinn and I played with trains and legos and light sabers. Then, we all went to the park and I watched my two boys golf together. The golfing turned into chasing around the field after the ball, with Quinn laughing, giggling and loving life. He says things like, "I found the park" when we drive there.

Have I mentioned how adorable my son is when my son hits the downward dog pose after going poop in the toilet and getting help from Luke or I to get all cleaned up? Quinn plopped himself down in the baby chair/seat thing again. He also wanted to be held like a baby before his nap today. He started his nap in the crib, but eventually ended up napping next to me. Last night when he saw the beautiful quilt from Megan he wanted to lay it out for the baby. He very carefully spread it out on the big bed during story time last night. Sweet boy. He is vascillating between pride about the baby and the baby's new things and some anxiety. I suppose my son and I are much alike:)

I'm trying to be as planful as possible about recognizing people's desire to meet the little one once she arrives, but trying to do it graciously and on terms that I like. I know that my level of exhaustion pre-baby makes me more emotional and particular about things and the baby amnesia didn't block unpleasant memories from the first few days of being home and feeling overwhelmed by guests and whatnot. I want to invite people to take joy in her, just as we do, but I want to be together enough and my family intact enough, to do it well-- in our own way. Let's hope that the planning and foresight Luke and I have tried to have will serve us well. Certainly, we observed much from Levi and Bobbi's recent challenges with family introductions and Leigha.

I don't want to give birth on 4/20, even though that would mean that I might get to have Edie help deliver the little one. While her birthday would certainly be something extraordinary to celebrate, she might always be haunted by the other events that took place on that day. Of course, I don't have control over such things:)

Well, no baby yet, even though we spent last night at Regions in their labor and delivery "way station". Uggh. After timing the contractions at every 5 minutes for an hour, I was ready to go, yet patient. We waited for my Mom to arrive, continued to play with Quinn and readied ourselves. We took showers, made sure the house was in order and then departed. One of the most emotional parts of the evening was saying good-bye to Quinn. There I was in the living room, watching Quinn play with the baby swing and in my mind, I was saying farewell to that part of his life, the trio of just the three of us, knowing that his life was going to change... and it made saying goodbye to him very difficult. The only time I cried the whole night was after waving goodbye to my son from the car. We really are entering this whole new phase of life where Quinn isn't my baby or only child and its difficult to see that. I want to be able to give him everything he needs and that is bound to change in the very near future. Still, he has my heart and love and that is not going to change, no matter the obligations or duties I have before me. I will sacrifice what I must to be an exceptional mother and partner:)

Now, to the guts of the evening.. the miserable, long evening.

When I arrived I was ushered to the way station. Wait, back up. As we were driving along University, blocks away from the hospital, a car nearly hit us as it illegally merged into the two lanes of our traffic. It was wild and frightening and to Luke's credit, he remained super calm, not even honking. How hilarious then to see that same car pulled in front of the emergency room, lifting/pushing a very pregnant woman into the ER. How funny it would have been to see the two of our cars crash when we both had the same destination and the same reason for heading in that direction. Fortunately, we were all safe:)

Back to the night. We were officiously packed and not carrying the weight of 80 bags which seemed to be our plan last time. We were hooked up to the machines and watched the contractions come and go frequently and with great intensity. It made me glad to see that I wasn't hallucinating the contractions and validated my record keeping. I watched some Mad Men, ate some granola bars, lived the risky life and ate a regions box lunch with a lunch meat sandwich and waited for things to progress, which they did not. Around 2 or so, they gave me meds so I could sleep and then I dozed in and out of sleep until around 6 when I was finally so exhausted by the temperature and limbs falling asleep and the aches in my butt from the heinous thing they call a bed... and were sent home. The contractions had slowed considerably and after muliple cervix checks nothing had changed. So, after both Luke and I suffered enormous discomfort and shitty sleep, we went home. I appreciate my bed so very, very much. We'll be bringing our own pillows next time and lots of them because the hospital ones suck. Erggh. So, I've taken multiple naps today and relaxed and am looking forward to my shower tomorrow. I hope to spend some quality time with Jen and Asha after the shower and I guess just bide my time until she really chooses to arrive. Money is very tight, but I'm sure something will work out. At this point, I want to go to Tuesday's ultrasound and see the fetal weight and then go from there. I'd like to get the science class stuff finished and Ethan's eval mailed off. That way, I know that both of those stipends will be coming my way in the coming weeks. Thank goodness that Congress approved the extensions for unemployment. Otherwise, our financial life was going to get very interesting, very quickly. I am excited to see Quinn when he returns from Grandma's this afternoon and grateful for her help. I need to be nicer to her and not let me anxiety over her aging get in the way of how I treat her. I am all about grapefruits lately. Yesterday was, by the way, a rather delightful afternoon with the family. We stopped by Lund's after getting Quinn and picked up food for a picnic. Then, we headed over to Minnehaha Falls park and played and ate there. We met a nice man and his daughter, whose wife teaches in Apple Valley and they are also expecting their second. It was a very nice time. In fact, we've had plenty of joyful trio kinds of outings lately, many of them taking place at Izzy's or as Quinn calls it "The Ice Cream Store". We likes to get a Strawberry cone with a chocolate Izzy. Luke and i too have been trying to hang together and enjoy solo adult time. We went to Key's yesterday for breakfast after our midwife appt. and had a nice meal where I ran into an old AVHS student. Crazy!

Alright, must get to dinner. Loving my family always.

Another new day and no new baby:) Fortunately, I slept well last night and Luke and Quinn had another evening of Star Wars bed bonding, which meant I had the big bed to myself. Last night we headed to the park and played a little baseball and then enjoyed the swings and park features. It is interesting for me to watch coaching in action, as Luke directs or redirects Quinn's stance and whatnot for baseball. The Target anecdote about picking his bat is also pretty funny, but we'll hope Luke holds on to that memory as its not my own to share. Quinn's preschool conference was yesterday and it looks like we need to focus on sorting and groups-- and perhaps encouraging Quinn to engage in more solo, direct play. It's pretty amazing to me how quickly a parent's mind goes to defending or justifying a child's development or intellect and I have to catch myself before I go off the deep end on either end. For example, when she says she's concerned that Quinn needs to be reminded of an activities purpose or exercise, do I take that as a processing or memory issue? A focus issue? Do I seek out additional resources for him? Or, do I consider on the other hand that his learning style may not be as suited to Montessori as some kids? Ah, the balance. I want Quinn to do well in life and have achievement and happiness. His teacher says he is a very happy child, very respective and takes direction well. He has a marvy little group of friends--- who sometimes like to band together and run around the room until stopped... How much should he be doing as a three year old and how much should we be doing at home? We're trying to ratchet down tv and game time and encourage outdoor activities and legos. He does great pretend play and can play independently well. At what point to I consider the skills he is working on and those that are on hold? At what point do I hold Luke and I more responsible for this or that skill? Ah, the mind game that is accountable parenting! I don't want to fail my children or for them to fail in life, though I know that both ideas are sort of gray areas.

Anywho, I was deeply frustrated with the nurse line last night because I just want to know when everything is going to happen and then plan from there, but my daughter to be is not on a schedule that I am privy to. SO, we'll head to our prenatal appt. this morning and take the non-stress test and then see from there. I am loath to go back to work now that I've left because it makes more sense for Windy to just gain her own personal momentum instead of me jumping back in and trying to create continuity again. Additionally, there's the Public Speaking licensure issue and I'd rather just be done with that and not stir any professional fires but trying to teach something I need a variance for. It would be nice to attend the shower on Saturday too, minus a child, but gracious sakes, will the contractions just remain?? The nurse was doing her best, I am sure, to be judicious and told me I could come in if I wanted to, but the absence of terrible back pain and the inconsistent timing of the contractions meant this was probably practice. Annoying, aggravating practice, I wanted to say, but practice. Plus, my mind is really centered on my current birth plan of keep Quinn and Luke as comfortable as possible. Imagining heading to the hospital in the middle of the night and having to make arrangements for Quinn's care and an alternative morning routine were upsetting to me. Alright, must get going so we can get Quinn off to school and Luke and I to the doctor.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana

Banana who?

Banana paper.

This is Quinn's knock knock joke. It makes very little sense, but it is wonderfully adorable, like most things about him. He is becoming more and more wonderfully independent. He can dress himself almost entirely when it suits him and he also can get undressed with the same aplomb. Luke is being exceptional about mornings with Quinn. He has him in this lovely routine of sitting on the toilet, brushing his teeth in the morning and getting him ready. Quinn slept with his Dad last night and never came into my room at all. It's been a week now-- or maybe more- and he's been nursing free. Wild. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, this is very good news, but I can't help but pause a little and think back on the end of this phase of things. Just as Quinn seems to want to be a baby and talks about wanting to be in the swing, lay in the crib, he is moving forward as a little boy. He needs me just as much, but senses and knows that Dad is more able to be there for him these days. I know the new little one will need me very much, but it is with some sadness that I say farewell to Quinn's role as my only baby. He has been throughout such a source of joy and happiness and will obviously continue to be, but he will have to share that spotlight and that will be hard for both of us. Alright, feeling mushy. Loving my family.

Well, it seems the time is come.. or it appears so. I've been up since about 2, with a short nap in the wee hours of the morning and then another before lunch time. I called in for school and had Windy arrive, figuring I'd be too exhausted for school and that perhaps this is just how the some labors go... slowly. I hope it progresses because now I feel ready to be done. Heading back to school tomorrow, only to have more contractions that may or may not lead to labor is anti-climatic and not terribly fair to Windy or myself in terms of planning-- or at least a challenge. I am relishing my final moments in isolation. I encouraged Luke to keep his meeting with his Mom this morning at IKEA while I rested and then sent him off to the bank and to spend his birthday gap gift card at the mall while he was in the neighborhood. He's going to also grab some Chipotle, the spiciest thing I eat and let's hope that moves things along. I will also try and convince Luke to go on a walk with me later:) I want to move this along:)

Quinn's hide and seek

Quinn's approach to hide and seek has always been "evolving" and we've reached new understandings of how the game works, but we still have some room to grow:) It used to be that Luke and I would be laying next to him in bed and he'd hide under the covers. Now, we use the two bedrooms upstairs and play in a modified fashion. There's counting now, which is a fun addition. Of course, Luke and i try to count to 10 and Quinn is more of the 1, 2, 3 kind of kid. Additionally, the hiding is still not the key element. Quinn always hides in the same spots and insists that we hide in particular places as well. For example, the other day we needed to hide next to the big bed in Mom and Dad's room. When I tried to hide in the closet I was reprimanded. Quinn likes very much to hide under his Star Wars bed, nearly every time. His feet hang out and he makes little effort to hide them:) He also chuckles and giggles throughout the script of what we say when we look for him, "Hmm, where is Quinn? Is he under the crib? Is he in the closet? (Then we'll open the closet and say "Boo") Is he next to his kitchen?" Then, we'll tickle his feet and he'll crawl out. While we're still visiting, Quinn will ask to do it again and he'll crawl right back under the bed to be found, sending Luke or I to the other room to count. Last night was a new fun twist on things in that Quinn and I would hide behind pillows we held up in front of ourselves while sitting on the bed. I was feeling particularly immobile with #2 and so hiding behind a pillow in front of my face- though it failed to cover all of me- seemed a reasonable idea. Quinn agreed. He also determined that if he closed his eyes, no one else could see or find him. So, at one point, Quinn was lying face down on the bed stuffing his little head into a pillow, legs kicked up and he believed himself to be invisible. My chuckles and joy at his antics are really one of a kind. We're on day 5 right now of the weaning and he is grumpier about it then before. But, he has gotten over both of those episodes, for which I am grateful. I know this is very difficult for him and certainly not easy for me to watch him to sad, but I think it's key for us to at least advance this work before #2 arrives. I am doing my best to be patient and understanding, comforting and loving, in the face of this major change for him. Last night he wanted to be "the baby" and so I said I would hold him for 3 minutes like a baby, but naturally, Luke ended up helping. He did try to sleep in the crib like a baby, but eventually wound up in the Star Wars bed with Luke. On one of my first wake-ups of the night, I saw Luke bound up in a blanket on the floor and Quinn pleasantly sleeping. Later, Quinn wandered into the other room and slept the rest of the night with me. This morning has been all about a painful leg cramp in my left leg. Good stuff.

Yesterday evening we went to Edgecumbe park, our park of choice in the area. Quinn did lots of swinging with Dad and then played on the slide. There were some older boys there who were serving as rather poor role models. At one point, Quinn approached Luke and I with a mouthful of sand. For whatever reason, he had determined that he was going to put his whole mouth in the sand. Uggh. The other boys were also all about climbing up the slides, a feat not so bad for them, but not a practice we want him to have. I hope that Luke and I will remember the impressionability of the young ones as Quinn gets older and more agile.

Luke is a really marvelous father. His ability to brush Quinn's teeth, to make him laugh uproariously, to swing his son back and forth in the towel after bed time, to take him to swimming lessons and help him evolve as a little fish, the Dad's class every Monday night.. he's a very good, very loving father. Quinn is a very lucky little boy. Granted, right now, the two of them are playing Star Wars Legos on the Wii and Dad can get impatient with Quinn's "focus", but that's because he's human:) Mixed in with his patient humor is sound encouragement:)

One fun thing from this week was the taking of video on Luke's phone. Quinn loved to watch himself chatting and would impersonate himself as he watched. Quite funny:)

I've fallen off the gestational diabetes diet in major ways in the past month or so. I am trying to regain some semblance of control this weekend by monitoring my breakfast and beginning to the day. I have added grapefruits to my food line-up in the hopes that it takes the edge off my recent sweet tooth. Even though fruit is still carbs, this is far fewer calories than the three Izzy visits we made this week. Bless Luke for being generous and supportive, even as my choices are not the wisest.

I am taking every day as it comes, one at a time and knowing that is how I have to proceed. I will deal with what comes when it comes and for not, I need to be good to myself and my family every step of this process towards my daughter's arrival. Having a girl the second time allows me the convenience to keep saying that Quinn is the best little boy this Mommy could have and similarly unbiased statements that esteem him. She is well entitled to be a terrific daughter and Quinn gets to be the superb boy. Good times for all.

Bath time is going brilliantly lately as Quinn loves to float on his back and stomach and do laps in the tub. Funny little swimmer. Love it.

Quinn and his Dad are painting together. Quinn is wearing one of Luke's old shirts, backwards and looks more adorable than words can say. Last night, Quinn determined that he was going to wear Dad's pajamas to bed. Wearing an old green t-shirt and blue gym shorts, Quinn was a vision in over-sized funniness. We laughed about how things were too "small" and eventually, he was ready to don his own spaceship pajamas.

Megan and Leo visited me at the book fair recently and they picked up the book "Nurture Shock" which apparently makes a case for how too much positive validation from parents can be detrimental for kids. I suppose there's something to that argument, but I certainly find it personally difficult to do anything but celebrate how terrific I think my son is. It's worth a read though, or learning more, because I want Quinn to be centered and have a positive self-esteem, but not shy away from challenge:)

It is very hard for me, however, to not turn around and celebrate his delightful painting. He is such a cutey.

One more day to the term and then staff development. Had a really encouraging meeting with my long-term sub this morning and I think she's going to be really excellent in my stead.

Quinn and I watched cars today as they were passing by the house and worked on our colors. Our driving routine is pretty mellow. Luke and I may talk some and catch up and we check in about Quinn's day, but then we let him chill for a bit on the short ride home. On one hand, it's relaxing and low pressure... on the other hand, i have to fight the instinct to make every second with Quinn "count" in some academic or learning fashion. As a baby, even though our commute to Jo-jo's was incredibly short, I always made sure to sing the whole way or talk the whole way. I am odd.

Quinn says he is now going to paint a picture for me. He is singing the word "Blue, blue, blue, blue..."

Quinn likes to sing all sorts of random lines of conversation, which reminds me of my own lyrical gifts...

I have the Superwhy song in my head.

Have I mentioned that in our co-sleeping world, Quinn loves to snuggle as close to my back as possible and is almost always in the center of the bed, but not on one side-- unless it's my side:)

I like watching how kids are ambidextrous and try out painting and coloring with both hands.

Tomorrow is Thursday. Quinn has speech:) I love his voice and listening to its every inflection. I wish I could record it all. When I bring out the camera, however, he clams up and is focused on being recorded as opposed to being his charming former, chatty self.

Roger remains Quinn's top pick for his sister's name. He also seems to have two imaginary friends named Kenny and Roger, though Luke and I are not sure if we mishearing his pronunciation, if they actually exist...

"Oops, sorry."

I'm hearing this from the other room because Quinn has just accidentally killed his father's lego player. At times, this happens when Quinn and I are playing together. He is sweet and funny as he tries to apologize for ending our lego existence. Quinn likes to begin his entreaties about playing the game in that he can, "do it all himself" but then he inevitably needs help from Luke or I to get to the world he wants:) Of course, to be fair, he knows how to use the myriad of buttons on the two remotes and can do far more than I can in all of the world.

"I'm ok"

My son is hilarious and I love the sound of my voice, always. When he is not near Luke or I, say, downstairs while we are upstairs, and he tumbles or falls, he will always call out, "I'm ok" to let us know that all is well. There is something so innocent and sweet about his acknowledgement that he is going to be alright and that he knows we will quickly ask him how he is doing. He knows we care and that we want to see him be safe.

Today he and I were having our "pic-i-nick" on the front stoops while he ate his pizza from the shopping store and then we did some walking up and down the block. He wanted for the two of us to walk backwards together so we did. Then, he must have done something with his stride and he hurt his butt. Then, he twice asked me to touch his butt to confirm that it was hurt. Very funny stuff.

Quinn is all about the woodpecker that hits up the tree outside our window. He finds it incredibly entertaining the sound it makes and we listen with eager eyes and ears for the sound of the woodpecker. Quinn's imitation of the woodpecker to his Dad was also very entertaining. I impersonate the woodpecker by taking my hand and patting it quickly against my nose. Quinn does a full-on head bob act back and forth. Marvelous.

"It's scary."

This expression has crept into Quinn's vocabulary in the past few months and can seemingly fit any occasion. When we switched the rooms this last week, he was rather legitimately scared by the new shadows and shapes in the dark. Other times, like this morning, his room is scary when I ask him to go into it and pick up his books before he watches Star Wars. Our son can be wonderfully independent and at other times, fear spaces that are too big, open or empty without an adult present.

"Mommy said" or "Daddy said"

I don't think that little ones could apply the term white lie to what they do, but they do have the capability to misrepresent things-- and if the results work for them, I think they pull that trick out again. Quinn will often want to make a case for himself or something he wants to his Dad or I. At these moments, he will sometimes explain that "Mommy said I could" or that Daddy also acquiesced, even if such conversations never took place. Luke and I are smart enough to corroborate any such testimony, but it is an interesting habit. I suppose he hears how people make cases for things or try to get their way and that's what he thinks he is to do. We don't ever use the word "lie" when we talk with them, we just gently check sources and correct when we need to. Funny kid.

Elbows and ears. Quinn has always been a marvelously affectionate little boy, a very good snuggler and cuddler. At present, he loves to kiss his father's ears and leave wet traces there and for me, it's my elbows. He loves to pinch and pull at the lose skin there. He gives many, many kisses and loves to be held. In the past week I've managed to steer clear of all piggy backs, but for a while there, his morning descent to the first floor was generally a piggy back from one of his loyal parents. The same can be said for his entrance into school. Now that the weather is nice, he likes to run in, but the piggy backs were pretty popular for a bit. Best get ready for school!

Things are coming down to the wire and there's much to do and much exhaustion. Today we had our 5th ultrasound and baby is doing well. They only measure weight every third week so we didn't get any reading on that, but she scored 8/8 on all the things they measure. The NST was a lengthy one because she and I were sleepy and they wanted to see her move, but I took a bit of a nap during it so that couldn't have sparked much action. Two more days of the quarter and I am very ready for all to conclude, though I am grateful for the slow down that occurs at the end of the term, even if it also means ramping up for the new one. I've still got stuff to do for my long term sub, as well as things to try and accomplish for the science class. We'll see what is possible and what is not.

Quinn is back to school this week after his spring break and making the adjustment alright. He's a bit worn down, I think, as a couple break downs last evening point to. He went to bed fairly early though so hopefully tomorrow morning will be a chipper one. He had his favorite mashed potatoes last night so that was sweet:) He's all about any kind of fruit snack lately, which is fun and remains a devoted fan of his bars. He likes his new round of spring shirts, none of which are Star Wars, so we haven't had to flip shirts in or out for school. He has a new green shirt that he is very fond of and Luke found an old Millenium Falcon pin that he wears with it. We have cheap dragon figures floating through the house because of the new Dreamworks picture. Hopefully they will find their way into the garbage pretty soon.

Life is pretty steady with the family as we head into life with 4. We go to school together, Luke picks us up, we sit on the blue bench (out of chronological order, by the way) and get Quinn in his school shoes as opposed to his outdoor shoes and then Luke and I make a typical stop at Caribou for my drop off. Life with the Honda accord is going swimmingly and we love driving about in a whole car. The two beater cars that were occupying our drive way are gone and that is a mighty relief. We got another key for the Honda this past weekend, so for better or worse, we probably won't have to do anything for the Honda until an oil change. It's nice to have that security and reliability with the car.

I love listening to Quinn chat to himself. He had a new Star Ward pop up book and he is very funny about reading it to himself. THis evening he was watching a little Star Wars on Luke's phone and then was humming/singing to the theme song while I was in the kitchen cooking and Luke was cleaning his monitor. I popped in to watch him and he became a little shy, the sweet boy. He is a pretty regular hummer or singer and when you ask him what he's doing he says, "just talking". Funny kid. I took Quinn to speech last week for the first time. Luke is normally the point person for that; his therapist is a chipper and happy woman and Quinn seems very comfortable working with her.

Now that the rooms are switched up, we've fallen back into our routine of who sleeps where. Though it looked like Quinn was going to spend some more quality time in his crib, as a few lengthy naps indicated, he is clear about sleeping in the big bed with Mommy. Right before a baby arrives hardly seems the time to kick him out and lose that quality time, so we will adjust and hope that #2 likes the crib:)

Alright, I should try and get some sleep and the red light is showing on the battery icon above so that's a clear sign too. Loving my family so very much- as always- and beginning to have those slightly anxious pangs about labor and the upcoming pain. Oh well. It all ends in a fabulous new child:)

My boys are busy playing Star Wars Legos rights now. We spent the day in Albany with the Beck's for Palm Sunday/Easter celebrations. Levi and Bobbi made it up so everyone was able to see the new baby:) Quinn and Luke are pretty darn adorable as they play together. Quinn is wearing his new spiderman t-shirt and shorts from Marcia and Steve. The t-shirt is sleeveless and yellow and he's wearing it over his grey Darth Vader shirt. He's got on his new black shorts and has kept on his brown socks that went with his Easter outfit. He is perched on his red rocking chair from Grandma Edberg and has the Wii remotes clutched in his hands. He is making lots of narrative sort of comments, as is his father. They are both chuckling throughout their game play. I believe that my son is far more talented with a Wii remote than he probably should be, but I impressed nonetheless and predict many more hours of father/son video game playing over the years. "Roger" is stretching and moving in my belly and I am glad that after a long weekend, she is still up to moving about. Quinn and the family just finished a late dinner of pizza and Quinn was quick to tell me that if he finished his pizza, Dad said that he could have "chocolate" but the way he said chocolate was in a hushed whisper, adding intrigue to his treat. Sweet, sweet boy.

One of Quinn's new things is that he likes to pretend to steal our ears and then we pretend that we can't hear him and all he says. He laughs uproariously about the whole thing and it's all wonderfully happy. He is doing very well at his new session of swimming lessons and is good about holding on to the wall of the pool and kicking his little legs. We stopped at the Gap outletin Albertville today on our way back from Albany and picked up some new summer duds for the little man. He is going to be wearing 5t and clothes- wild! I can hardly believe that I have a near 4 year old and will soon be adding an infant to the mix! had the St. Kate's book fair yesterday at Barnes and Noble and visited with some nice parents. Karissa Baker, a former co-worker from SPA, has her son at St. Kate's and its fun to visit with her. McCall's Mom was also there with Quinn's pal and we are glad to here that they are returning next year.

Both Luke and I are proud of the fact that by and large, Quinn is a polite and friendly boy. When exhausted, he can be curt and not want to be forced into things, but in large part, he's a respectful kid. I am glad that we are doing our best to model manners to him. Roger continues to be the most popular name for his little sister to be. Luke and I continue to marinate over the other names we like and are trying to balance out the root of the name and the family associations as close to equal as possible. Who knows where we'll land on a name??

Spring break is finally here and I have tons to do this week. I need to finish the science work from last summer, I need to get lessons ready for the long term sub and it also looks like I need to ready a resume and cover letter for a potential new position at open school. that, and I should take it easy and try my best not to have a baby:)

Quinn continues to be a happy co-sleeper and snuggles as close to me as possible, then stretching his legs across the rest of the bed so I can't switch sides and make any gains in space. Funny kid. We were able to get him off a wierd week of Spongebob and Nick tv and move him to pbs. He had worn tired of the disney line up and likes the arthur, george mix. I saw the trailer for toy story 3 today and that is going to be quite good:)

Just finished a mystery that was reviewed in people magazine and now I'm going to dive into diana gabaldon. The boys are laughing and shouting. Luke sometimes reprimands Quinn's moves and I think Quinn likes teasing him with their progress by jumping into water, off ledges, etc. My son loves being a storm trooper and often asks if I want to come and play with him and be a jedi and he'll be a storm trooper. Funny kid. I do love them both so very, very much.

The anxiety or worry is seeping in. I look around at the amazing life I have and I worry about the safety of everyone. Today we meet with the life insurance guy. We need to update our plans now that we'll be adding a second child to our merry mix. With that, the burning need also persists for Luke and I to sit down and make a will. UGgh. I don't want anyone else to raise my children, I want to do it with Luke and I don't want anything to jeopardize that. So, when I sometimes turn over- rather awkwardly- in the bed and listen to Quinn breathe, I think to myself, "This is the most perfect life I could lead. Please God don't let anything change the health and wellness of those I love most".

Today we're off to the perinatal ultrasound folks to check in on the little one and her growth. From the looks of my much expanded belly, the two cord vessel has done little to slow down her progress. She's a mover too. She's pretty regularly active:) Quinn spent some time last night kissing the belly and was highly entertained the other evening when she was pushing her foot out and making my belly have a funny bump to it. He laughed hysterically at that. Listening to Quinn laugh is one of the best sounds I can imagine. He and his Dad will wrestle a half dozen times a week and the hysteria to his enjoyment is so sweet. Sometimes in his dreams he laughs good naturedly. Love it!

This past Saturday was McCall's birthday party and it was a delight to watch Quinn and his beloved friends. They ran and ran and ran and jumped and explored and had a great time. Of course, the two of them were nearly inseparable and where one went the other followed. When one didn't want to eat pizza, neither did the other. There were odd displays of arms crossed and No's being flung around to no one in particular. I guess we don't have to look very far for Quinn's inspiration at sassiness. To his credit though, he already is learning the art of code shifting and in most cases knows that when with us he is one version of himself and with his friends, he can be another person. By no means do I think either of them misbehave in school, but some of his assertiveness has roots in McCall's modeling:)

Before the party we went to Creative Kids Stuff to pick out McCall's gift. Of course my son found a box of Star Wars equipment under a discount table and began to carry it around. For someone who can't read, he sure recognizes the Star Wars logo. He enjoys watching letters and numbers form together and his new thing is to ask what something says. He likes to type on the computer as well, just like Mom and Dad. He's been watching Super Why on his Dad's phone lately and singing along to that. Speaking of, I bought my first toddler CD and it was a "huge" hit in the car. I need to remember to check in with Luke about some of those purchases. Whoops.

The appearance of the word stupid was temporary it seems hasn't recurred, which is a nice thing. It was just the one put down to the Storm Trooper and beyond that, nothing. Whew. We got Quinn signed up for swimming lessons at Learn to Swim at the U. Luke got a recommendation for their program from ECFE so we followed up and they are set to start in two weeks. Unfortunately, the first session interferes with sibling class at the hospital so we're going to have to arrange for a tour or something to supplement the lack of class. Spring break is at the end of the month and I think Quinn will take a break from school. It will save some money and perhaps he can spend a day or so with Nana and Papa. His last overnight there went well and even though it took him a while to recover from the change to his weekend routine, he slept the full night there and was in good spirits.

I must be in nesting mode a bit because I'm all about keeping up on laundry and picking up. Luke and I both are bracing ourselves for the deletion of personal time in the house. I can hardly believe that my son is almost 4 years old. I watch him in the bath tub and he's this tall, wiry little boy who has energy to spare. He loves to splash, lay on his back in the tub so he can hear the world muted and lately, poor water into his ear because he similarly likes that tunnel sensation, though we discourage the pouring exercise a ton.

My son loves the snowman book, dislikes walking up or downstairs alone because its scary, but embraces all things Star Wars. He loves to carry around his "gun" and attack the clones and wants his parents help as back up Jedi. He works to get the tiny plastic guns into the hands of his storm troopers and loves that his Dad built him a giant lego snow fort like thing for the battles on Hoth. He carried around the cardboard cut out of the figures in his Endor set and jumps on the bed whenever he has the chance. At present, his water bottle is the pink one and mine is the blue. He still loves the name Roger for the baby, but last night he asked me what we were going to name her. He loves to cuddle and now wants to sleep with his Star Wars pillow even though he prefers the flatness to the bed for his head. He is putting on his own clothes more and more, but his slightly large head presents problems for him, poor thing. He is chiefly concerned with touching my elbow and making sure that happens enough in each day. He enjoys corn dogs, Noodles and Co. mac and cheese and Cinnamon Toast crunch. He newly likes fruit snacks of all kinds it seems and first licks off the icing on cupcakes before diving into the substance.

And soon, there will be two children to adore and love. There will be two children to care for and worry for. There will be twice as much joy and twice as much pressure to make sure I do well by them both. I need to lesson plan for about 9 weeks and still manage to get through the rest of this student teaching experience, where I feel like I'm caretaking a 32 year old teacher in training. I wish there was a surplus of money so I wouldn't have to be thinking about money at the same time that I'm thinking about labor. To be fair though, my fears about labor are pretty minor. I know that I can do it, have done it and that I will get through it. It doesn't mean that will be pretty and even though my body can't conjure up memories of pain, I can see how I was walking, know in my head that sitting in the car was painful and recall that bathroom protocol took forever because of the "damage" done downstairs. But, I have an amazing little boy and he is superb, so I know I can do it. 12 hours of my life is 12 hours of my life and then a lifetime of joy as a newly minted parent.

Please let Luke be approved for additional unemployment... I just have to pray that all will be alright:)

So, I'm very, very excited to see how much the little one has grown and to assure myself that she's on course and healthy. I am planning for her birth to be a couple weeks early, like Quinn's, but I suppose in the grand scheme of things, delivering on time is the fiscally smart thing to do and better assures my sick days of lasting and the short term disability not being sucked dry with early bills. Asha is throwing me a shower, which is so very sweet. Better get ready for the day. I need to follow up on a tip Megan gave me for writing a short will online, a perk of our insurance or union benefits or something.

Quinn loves to be tickled. Luke is a superb tickler. He has Quinn squealing with delight, protesting and then jumping right back into the fray for more. It's a sort of perfect kind of happiness to witness. Yesterday Quinn and I made masks. They had apparently made some in school, but none appeared in Quinn's art drawers so to appease him, we made some at home. The tiger masks were sweet and funny, but beyond that, it was Quinn's excitement to crawl around like a tiger, turn our hands into paws and make "raaring" sounds together. My tiger mask was a sad creation, but Quinn didn't care a lick and enjoyed playing with me. One of the new terrific joys of being Quinn's Mom is his reading. At night, he will sometimes stop us during story time and tell us the story. He'll ask us to turn the pages, but at each new page, he tells us his own version and summary of the tale and in most cases his version includes a pull quote that is right from the book and accurate. He did this the other night with "What was I scared of?" from the Sneetches collection and last night, it was while Luke was doing his narration of the Snowman that Quinn would take over now and again and correct Luke when he would stray from his normal narration. I love that his memory is so active and his internalization of reading so unconscious:) Hopefully, this morning Quinn will be more agreeable to getting dressed. His new jammies are such a pull for him:) Besides, they need to be washed.

Friday we have a person lined up to interview for my position in the spring. Kind of exciting to get things rolling. I've got a training tomorrow and am taking a personal day on Monday for the ultrasound. It will be cool to see how much she's grown sine our last visit there. We're also meeting with the life insurance guy on Monday to get all of our ducks in a row for number 2. Life with the new car is going along swimmingly. I'm finding myself increasingly comfortable with the role of a passenger. I don't know if its the late term stages of pregnancy or simply not ever really liking to drive, but I love our carpooling and riding along with no responsibility.

Yesterday morning Quinn rose and immediately wanted to play his Lego SW game. I feign (and actually feel) a certain level of detachment from video games and don't want to be the go-to person for them. Maybe it's lame, but Luke and I have our roles and specialties with Quinn. I like baking with Quinn, prepping his meals, making his lunches, doing his laundry, etc. Luke is a great tickler, good about Quinn on his shoulders and playing video games. Both are very important roles and while they may seem to fall into gender categories, I don't wish to cross the line. I don't want to be an expert at the Wii. I don't think Luke wants to take over my duties either. At the same time, I do want to present to my "children", to coin an expression that will soon be reality, the balance that we have and the ability we both have to do either ones duties. i don't want to appear deficient to my role or relegated to certain tasks and I am sure Luke is on the same page.

Bought a few more bay girl items the other day while shopping at Southdale with Luke on the way down to Le Sueur. It's interesting to me how girl clothes seem almost always suited for a dress up occasion and boys clothes are designed for always relaxing. It's a weird mix and odd that the clothes determine the occupation or activity of the child. I'll do my best to shop smart for the little girl so that she has as much freedom and flexibility as Quinn to get dirty and be active.

Ok, back to bed before the actual wake-up time. Feeling sleepy:)

I wonder if the average household has nearly a dozen storm troopers in it. I wonder too if that same household has three lightsabers, three pairs of Star Wars pajama sets...

In loving Luke and selecting for our first date movie, Empire Strikes Back, I probably set all of this in motion years ago. I knew that Luke loved Star Wars from the first days of our dating. I knew that having a son meant having a legacy and not in the, "we share a last name sort of way" but rather in the, "I have someone to play with Star Wars Legos with" sort of manner. There are many things that bond father and son, but Star Wars is pretty high up there. Luke's love of Quinn's love of Star Wars is very cute and because I love both of these individuals more than anything, I tend to encourage it. Tonight, there's some sort of SW Lego set on Swoopo and it's only at $1 right now. It was up on the computer screen and Quinn saw it and believed it was a magical computer portal to a SW game. I went to the Lego website and tried to find a game. Instead, I found some fun Lego SW video clips that the two boys are now standing together and watching. Quinn is actually in the office chair and Luke is perched over him, happy and entertained by this new family find. The two boys were playing Lego SW on the Wii earlier and Quinn is coming along in his remote skills. Of course, Quinn also used the word stupid for the very first time yesterday and this was when his Clone soldier was speaking meanly to the Storm Trooper and calling him stupid. oh my. The lessons one will learn from SW.

We have a new car and Quinn is all abuzz with it. At first, it threw him off and we had a couple, "where is our car?" moments in the parking lot as a family, with Quinn not able to immediately spot our former embarrassing wreck of a car. Quinn came back from his grandparents house this weekend and said that he needed a new pair of SW pajamas because the ones he had been wearing were dirty. Of course, instead of really taking on that battle, what did we do? Went to the "shopping store" and bought a new pair of jammies. They are rather cute, if I do say so myself. They're lego SW and red. Quinn even put on his own jammies tonight. Well, at least 90% of them:)

Quinn had a good overnight with Nana and Papa but I think he's accustomed to the down time of weekends and has been a little sassier the past couple of days. I think we'll need to save overnights for three days weekends or situations like that. Otherwise, his temperament and schedule is a bit much:) Still, his grandparents adore him and I am glad to nurture that love with extended visits.

Quinn is all about Cinnamon Toast Crunch lately and we also have a liking for chocolate milk. Noodles and Co. continue to be a go-to sure thing for lunches at school, as Pros reported to us the other day. More later. Loving my boys!

Quinn has a new ride to carry him from place to place. After recent weeks of increasingly uncomfortable and potentially dangerous travel in the Honda Civic, we have purchased a used Honda Accord to take over family travel duties. The poor Civic has seen better times and unfortunately, none of those times are recent:) To be fair, the faithful car has been extremely low maintenance and trouble free. But for the terrible dents in the back, it has been reliable- if not aesthetically pleasing. When I brought the car in this summer for a small recall, they told me then that the struts would need to be replaced within 6 months. They were right. A hard winter of St. Paul roads filled with potholes aggravated a worn down car and broke down my resolve. So, yesterday Luke and I had an adult sort of day planned with Quinn in the care of his Nana and Papa and on his way to Le Sueur for a sleepover, so I applied for a loan through my bank, was approved and we set out for new horizons. Despite the appeal of Volkswagon Passats, my research revealed that that choice would be a mechanical risk and perhaps send us into repair heaven. We'd love the ride and feel pretty in it, but we'd spend oodles on repairs. The Honda Accord on the other hand had a great reliability record. Despite the long wait for final numbers and financing, the day was a success and Luke and I were delighted to drive home a new car. I drove the Civic behind Luke and naturally, went over a pothole that caused the back right tire to explore. So, now the car we hoped to become a trusty second vehicle at some point is sitting sadly in the driveway with the donut tire on it, requiring immediate service to be usable in any fashion- nice:)

Anywho, Luke and I had a marvelous dinner at Cafe Maude as a late Christmas celebration for ourselves and then we headed to a move at Southdale to complete our date day. Today we're going to check out a splendidly reviewed breakfast place in the Twin Cities before heading down to see our gorgeous little boy, see our tiny niece and visit some with his family. For the first time in ages, I don't have to have a lesson plan for tomorrow because my student teacher takes over. Wild. It's going to be very odd to NOT be in charge in my classroom, but this was one of the features of taking on a cooperating teacher that I knew would be sweet. I'll observe him and certainly feel the pangs of separation from the kids, but I'll also be able to plan for the maternity leave and get things situated for the sub to be.

Quinn was a darling boy yesterday as we met his grandparents at IKEA for the hand-off. He insisted on wearing his new Darth Vader shirt and ate a great lunch there. He held hands with his Papa and was patient about waiting for Papa while the car seat was moved in and such. Luke and I marveled yesterday that it is very fun to watch Quinn's long term memory evolve and he holds on to events so well lately. He spoke of fishing with Nana and Papa last summer over lunch together:) Most things are referenced as "last morning" as opposed to yesterday or last summer, but he's working on it. We had a pretty good week working on the potty changing thing. We started big with Star Wars incentives and learned we had to back off our grand plan a little. But, he doesn't mind his new toilet seat and has used it a few times now without too much stress. Quinn has been a snuggling darling lately, though I suppose that's not new for him. The other night he wanted to cuddle, but was slightly awake and as is one of his favorite pasttimes, he rubs the skin on my elbow when its relaxed. Something about the wrinkled skin and funny texture entertains him. He's taken to giving Luke gentle bites on the ear when Luke changes his diaper. Funny.

We had a prenatal appt. on Friday and she's measuring right on schedule, which is lovely news. We have an ultrasound next Monday and it will be good to see her weight and more detailed progress. This week we'll sign up for baby classes for the next couple of months. We're also trying to get Quinn into the Learn to Swim program through the U. Dad's class recommended it over community ed so it's worth a shot.

Next weekend is Quinn's second pal birthday party at Edinborough Park for his bff McCall;) It should be very fun to attend.

Turns out that one thing that raises my blood pressure is the stress of my mother:) She was trying to tackle a little too much this past Friday in terms of errands before getting Quinn at school and it has me frazzled and annoyed, even a I realize that I try to cram too much into short periods of time myself. Anywho, after my annoyance, my blood pressure was taken and the top number was at least 20 points higher than the previous day when I was in for my sinus infection. Interesting the affect that stress has on your body. All in all, Quinn loves his time with his Grandma and Luke and I love the time we have together because she watches him every Friday afternoon/evening. But, she's aging and slowing down and that causes us some anxiety about her facilitating Quinn's care. We need to step up and set parameters that allow her to be more successful and not over-do it.

Quinn is the happy new owner of a green light saber, a tribute to Ahsoka from the Clone Wars. We havent' had Phineus and FErb or really any other programming on in the house lately except for Clone Wars cartoons. We've been good lately about his tv watching. He was a sucker for G-Force for the week after he was given that movie at Valentine's Day, but he's passed on the guinea pigs for now- thank goodness. So, storm troopers rule his little world and apparently, even though we "seem" to have a dozen of them, they're clone and rebel and odd other branches of the Star Wars armed forces. Who knows what that even means:) Oh wait, Luke does.

Luke and I are on a nice roll with learning new card games and making time for quiet us time in each day. We learned Canasta on Friday and though we haven't been able to play it since, I think it will be a nice progressive game. We also picked up a car card game too which is pretty entertaining. There's a relaxation to playing and a calm to it.

Quinn loves the Snowman book and it quite excellent at narrating it himself. I find it incredibly hard to improv narration with only pictures present and Quinn knows that Daddy tells that story, as opposed to me. I don't know why I find it to difficult to do, but I look at the pictures and just want someone else to have the words there for me:)

Alright, I'll try to head back to sleep since this is a kid free morning:) Loving and missing Quinn, but hope he's having a terrific adventure with his grandparents.