The anxiety or worry is seeping in. I look around at the amazing life I have and I worry about the safety of everyone. Today we meet with the life insurance guy. We need to update our plans now that we'll be adding a second child to our merry mix. With that, the burning need also persists for Luke and I to sit down and make a will. UGgh. I don't want anyone else to raise my children, I want to do it with Luke and I don't want anything to jeopardize that. So, when I sometimes turn over- rather awkwardly- in the bed and listen to Quinn breathe, I think to myself, "This is the most perfect life I could lead. Please God don't let anything change the health and wellness of those I love most".

Today we're off to the perinatal ultrasound folks to check in on the little one and her growth. From the looks of my much expanded belly, the two cord vessel has done little to slow down her progress. She's a mover too. She's pretty regularly active:) Quinn spent some time last night kissing the belly and was highly entertained the other evening when she was pushing her foot out and making my belly have a funny bump to it. He laughed hysterically at that. Listening to Quinn laugh is one of the best sounds I can imagine. He and his Dad will wrestle a half dozen times a week and the hysteria to his enjoyment is so sweet. Sometimes in his dreams he laughs good naturedly. Love it!

This past Saturday was McCall's birthday party and it was a delight to watch Quinn and his beloved friends. They ran and ran and ran and jumped and explored and had a great time. Of course, the two of them were nearly inseparable and where one went the other followed. When one didn't want to eat pizza, neither did the other. There were odd displays of arms crossed and No's being flung around to no one in particular. I guess we don't have to look very far for Quinn's inspiration at sassiness. To his credit though, he already is learning the art of code shifting and in most cases knows that when with us he is one version of himself and with his friends, he can be another person. By no means do I think either of them misbehave in school, but some of his assertiveness has roots in McCall's modeling:)

Before the party we went to Creative Kids Stuff to pick out McCall's gift. Of course my son found a box of Star Wars equipment under a discount table and began to carry it around. For someone who can't read, he sure recognizes the Star Wars logo. He enjoys watching letters and numbers form together and his new thing is to ask what something says. He likes to type on the computer as well, just like Mom and Dad. He's been watching Super Why on his Dad's phone lately and singing along to that. Speaking of, I bought my first toddler CD and it was a "huge" hit in the car. I need to remember to check in with Luke about some of those purchases. Whoops.

The appearance of the word stupid was temporary it seems hasn't recurred, which is a nice thing. It was just the one put down to the Storm Trooper and beyond that, nothing. Whew. We got Quinn signed up for swimming lessons at Learn to Swim at the U. Luke got a recommendation for their program from ECFE so we followed up and they are set to start in two weeks. Unfortunately, the first session interferes with sibling class at the hospital so we're going to have to arrange for a tour or something to supplement the lack of class. Spring break is at the end of the month and I think Quinn will take a break from school. It will save some money and perhaps he can spend a day or so with Nana and Papa. His last overnight there went well and even though it took him a while to recover from the change to his weekend routine, he slept the full night there and was in good spirits.

I must be in nesting mode a bit because I'm all about keeping up on laundry and picking up. Luke and I both are bracing ourselves for the deletion of personal time in the house. I can hardly believe that my son is almost 4 years old. I watch him in the bath tub and he's this tall, wiry little boy who has energy to spare. He loves to splash, lay on his back in the tub so he can hear the world muted and lately, poor water into his ear because he similarly likes that tunnel sensation, though we discourage the pouring exercise a ton.

My son loves the snowman book, dislikes walking up or downstairs alone because its scary, but embraces all things Star Wars. He loves to carry around his "gun" and attack the clones and wants his parents help as back up Jedi. He works to get the tiny plastic guns into the hands of his storm troopers and loves that his Dad built him a giant lego snow fort like thing for the battles on Hoth. He carried around the cardboard cut out of the figures in his Endor set and jumps on the bed whenever he has the chance. At present, his water bottle is the pink one and mine is the blue. He still loves the name Roger for the baby, but last night he asked me what we were going to name her. He loves to cuddle and now wants to sleep with his Star Wars pillow even though he prefers the flatness to the bed for his head. He is putting on his own clothes more and more, but his slightly large head presents problems for him, poor thing. He is chiefly concerned with touching my elbow and making sure that happens enough in each day. He enjoys corn dogs, Noodles and Co. mac and cheese and Cinnamon Toast crunch. He newly likes fruit snacks of all kinds it seems and first licks off the icing on cupcakes before diving into the substance.

And soon, there will be two children to adore and love. There will be two children to care for and worry for. There will be twice as much joy and twice as much pressure to make sure I do well by them both. I need to lesson plan for about 9 weeks and still manage to get through the rest of this student teaching experience, where I feel like I'm caretaking a 32 year old teacher in training. I wish there was a surplus of money so I wouldn't have to be thinking about money at the same time that I'm thinking about labor. To be fair though, my fears about labor are pretty minor. I know that I can do it, have done it and that I will get through it. It doesn't mean that will be pretty and even though my body can't conjure up memories of pain, I can see how I was walking, know in my head that sitting in the car was painful and recall that bathroom protocol took forever because of the "damage" done downstairs. But, I have an amazing little boy and he is superb, so I know I can do it. 12 hours of my life is 12 hours of my life and then a lifetime of joy as a newly minted parent.

Please let Luke be approved for additional unemployment... I just have to pray that all will be alright:)

So, I'm very, very excited to see how much the little one has grown and to assure myself that she's on course and healthy. I am planning for her birth to be a couple weeks early, like Quinn's, but I suppose in the grand scheme of things, delivering on time is the fiscally smart thing to do and better assures my sick days of lasting and the short term disability not being sucked dry with early bills. Asha is throwing me a shower, which is so very sweet. Better get ready for the day. I need to follow up on a tip Megan gave me for writing a short will online, a perk of our insurance or union benefits or something.