This morning I'm downstairs on the computer and I'm waiting for the sweet strains of my son calling my name. Yesterday he slept in til almost 7:30 so it's possible I have some time for blogging and computer whatnot. My jaw is killing me because I think I'm grinding or clenching at night. I've lately seemed to have more tense dreams and with that comes the clenching. A while back when I returned to the dentist, she noted some deterioration on my right side from grinding, but I don't recall any pain there. I don't know if it's just the anxiety of pregnancy and whatnot or something bigger. I hope it's not dental in nature because I'm really not in a "want to go to the dentist place". But, we'll see.

So, my sweet son and I are still co-sleepers after 3 some years. It started when I went back to school after taking a term away from school. Quinn had been sleeping in his crib and I would get up multiple times a night for feedings and then head back to bed for short spurts. Heading back to school meant that I had less time with him and needed more sleep, so to bed he came with us and that seemed to help both my emotional state and physical sleep needs. And then, he stayed. And, to be fair, who wouldn't. If the people you love most in the world are the first things you see in the morning and the thing that reminds you that you feel safe when you wake, well, who wants to abandon that for the bar-like conditions of the crib. At least, Quinn had made his choice. But, as time has gone on, he's gotten taller and stretchier and wanted for more space. Me, I've adjusted to the space issues and sacrificed that comfort for the peace of mind that comes from hearing and smelling your child whenever I happen to wake. I adore the cuddling and snuggles and the feeling that Quinn knows he is incredibly beloved. I love that story time in bed leads to sleeping. In an ideal world, we'd have giant beds to spare in the house and I could bounce between beds to snuggle with all my beloved boys, but alas there is just one. Over the years, Luke's body has been much abused by Quinn's night time movements and though he loves his son dearly and appreciates the merits to co-sleeping, he often abandons the big bed and finds a safe haven in Quinn's solo bed. But, we're making plans. We're intending to turn the big room into the kids room and get bunk beds for Quinn. After the Eagle Bluff trip he was all about the bed with a ladder and this may be the transition piece we need. I'll likely crash in the bottom bunk so I can be near the baby and keep her from waking Quinn too often, but I'll also be in his space, just below him, and that will bring him some comfort- we hope. We're starting a more concerted effort to potty train Quinn so we'll let that be the priority for now, but once we have those skills in the bag, then I think we'll start to transition the rooms. We don't want to bring on too many changes for little Quinn, since knowing he's getting a sister is awfully big anyways.

Quinn is all about the Clone Wars, of course. He loves his Storm Troopers and has been brought this Storm Troopers pillow into the big room for sleeping. He sleeps with his Storm Troopers and likes to pretend to be them. His stick remains his gun and when he plays Star Wars Legos on the Wii, that's the character he chooses to be. It's pretty adorable watching Quinn and his Dad play Wii together. Quinn is slowly but surely getting down the nuances to the remote and learning to walk about and shoot. For now, all of his associations with guns and whatnot are securely in this fictional world. At some point, he'll learn that guns kill things that aren't droids, but I think that's another big developmental leap that we're not to yet.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch is our new big cereal that we like. He loved the cupcakes that I picked up from the SweetShop the other day. They were quite delicious, I must say. Quinn has helped me do some baking in the last couple of weeks. We made a birthday cake last weekend and yesterday we made chocolate chip cookies. I think I'm going to make some chocolate chip scones this morning.

Today I have to finish writing the script for the dinner theater and I'd really rather not. Perhaps this year will be my last... I have to be honest with myself about what the first year with an infant is like and how that affects my professionally. I have to be prepared- with two kids now- to make smart choices about how I attend to the needs of my students as opposed to the idea that I have to be the parade kind of teacher, always putting on a show to make sure people notice I'm a good enough educator. If anything, I feel like I should start working on the board certification process in the next couple of years for additional training AND pay. I have no idea what lies ahead for Luke's professional aspirations, especially in this recession climate. He's gifted and a hard worker, but who can see that when everyone looks that way on a resume. I pray that soon someone fantastic will see his talent and mentor him as he so deserves.

I want for Quinn and Luke for them to continue to have the carefree relationship that comes from Luke not having to work long hours and commute, but I also want for Luke the pride and joy that comes from developing as an artist and professional. Last night they had wonderful wrestling antics. Quinn loves tussling with his Dad, getting tickled and laughing. Last night he would pull Quinn's legs back, out from under him and Quinn would land gently on his little face on the bed. Quinn had two cookies before bed last night so he had lots of energy to extinguish. This didn't mean, however, that he didn't get up after storytime to have his waffle with Dad downstairs. Quinn likely knows that if he asks me, we can eat upstairs, since I am the queen of food in bed. Luke is more consistent about wanting Quinn to eat at the table, like a regular little boy:) I'm sure that in me there is still that piece that is simply delighted to watch him eat- period- after he struggled so long to eat normally. Speaking of, we need to ratchet up his diet of veggies. He's in a good place with fruit and the rest of his diet (minus some aversions to meat products) but we've fallen down on the job of introducing new veggies (ones he hasn't tried before).

Must complete this before the day gets away from me. Loving my family to pieces, as always.