So busy:) The world of house hunting and buying is quite intense and lately, mornings and mind power have all been devoted to this task. We're meeting with a second realtor tomorrow in search of a good match for our search. Then, we get to start looking at houses. On one hand, it's an ideal time for Luke to be home so we can do this together. On the other hand, we have definite financial needs that are coming to a head. With his unemployment done, we're in a pickle financially and it will make paying a mortgage impossible. Still, we forge ahead and pray that all will work out.

Lily is blessing us with long sleep sessions at night and is happy to have her father put her to sleep each night. For the first time today she had a really lengthy feeding, but otherwise, she is typically Miss Efficiency. Quinn had a series of lovely birthday celebrations starting with a great bash at Eagle's Nest with his preschool pals. It was a great celebration with the friends and parents-- and we timed things well with food and whatnot. Quinn has been catapulted into the Galactic Heroes series of Star Wars materials and likes them very much. This was compliments of Tony, one of his St. Kate's pals. He was also joined at the party by McCall, June, Luke, Max, ND, Owen and Ben. It was a super nice time. Sunday, Father's Day, was a day at Newell Park with the Edberg's and we had gorgeous weather and traipsed through Como Zoo and then back to the park for leftovers. Everyone had a nice time so we were glad that our hosting duties went well. On his actual day, we took him to see Toy Story 3 and had Noodles for dinner, his favorite. Yesterday was the final bash with the McCammon's and we got an ice cream cake from Izzy's, which was divine. All in all, I believe we rang in his new year with lots of attention and expense:) Still, the poor lad suffers somewhat now that Lily is here, though he does love her and has adjusted as well as we could have hoped. Our bed routine is pretty set now and that sort of predictability for him has to help. We've gone a week now without major protestation about going to school and that is a positive thing; before, i think he wanted to stay home with us and saw that Lily had that privilege. We're coming up on a long weekend for the 4th so we'll see what happens.

The kids had their respective appts. this week for 2 months and 4 years. Poor Quinn described his shot as sharp and was quite saddened by it. Lily also disliked her 3 shots and one oral vaccine. Her check up was smooth sailing and she's weighing in the the 94%. Quinn is also fit as a fiddle and making good progress. Unfortunately, she noticed issues in both his ears and his right eye so we're off to the specialists post haste. Of course, we'd be making these visits anyways because of my issues, but now we have some cause other than heredity. Uggh.

After re-reading some sections from the Sleep Book, I am newly invested in providing Lily with the understanding and routine that she needs to sleep well. Of course there's no schedule at this age, but we can build in some regularity to her world, as best as possible. I want her to be able to be out and about without worrying too much about her "schedule", but I also need her to got to sleep close to Quinn's bedtime, if possible. Respecting how she sleeps and how long it takes her to get into deep sleep has helped the past week or so and we've been rewarded with two 5 hour blocks of sleep the past two nights. She is also going to bed earlier. I am starting to be more aware of what to look for when she begins to tire and get cranky and I do my best to get her to a quiet space when she needs it. Quinn too is getting up closer to his normal sleep time and going to bed earlier than a week or so ago.

Quinn is still showing signs of needing Mom and Dad's presence and attention, which is normal. Yesterday, the first half of the day felt like I always had to say, "just one minute" or "hold on" and that made me feel terrible because it was always due to needing to do something for Lily. On the other end, Lily spends a decent amount of time in her little chairs or propped up, staring at moving objects or listening to music. She needs the quiet time, yes, but it does feel like both children need more than I can give at any given moment. With that said, I do try when I am having solo time with each of them to be as doting and attentive as possible. Sometimes, in Quinn's case, he just wants to know that I am here as a passive, but present part of his day.

I think we're coming to the end of Quinn's bout with hand, foot and mouth disease. We wrongly thought his swollen lip and reluctance to eat was about picking too much of his lip skin off or biting some part of his mouth, but he actually had terrible ulcerations in his mouth from the virus. We've spoiled him with food that is cool and easy on his mouth, but he is slowly but surely going back to his normal foods.

Quinn is saying I love you much more often lately and doing it without solicitation from me. He also can get quite upset with us and say things like, "I'm not your Mommy anymore" etc. He has this thing about whipping his stuffed animals around. On one hand, maybe this is supposed to be an ok expression of anger and frustration and I'd rather he hit toys than people, but it also seems somewhat disrespectful of his property and we want him to treat his things well. I know there are lessons and exceptions in this moment...

Lily has quite an emerging personality and likes to smile and laugh when doted on. Luke like to give her kisses and then make fun noises and he backs away and opens his mouth wide open. He has her trained to open her mouth wide like his when he backs away and makes the sound:) Lily continues to be a really easy bather and has no stress about it. She's got folds aplenty on her plump little figure and we try to get in there and keep her fresh:)

Quinn has become really agreeable and accepting of his morning routine. I suspect this is connected to feeling better but also to waking up on her own as opposed to us pressuring him to wake for school. To be clear, pressuring maybe overstates it a bit since both Luke and I know he's Luke's son when it comes to the morning and waking up. Both yesterday and today, Quinn woke up before me and waited patiently for me to rouse myself. When I finally decided to wake up and turned toward him, he smiled at me with bright eyes and said "good morning". I do like when things I do on a regular basis, like saying "good morning" and beginning the day happily, come back to me in his behavior. I know that the opposite will be true too, but I revel in his mimicking of positive behavior.

Now that the school year is officially over, I need to start thinking about planning for the new year in a way that will keep me sane. A part of me is even thinking of applying for a TOSA position to lead our school. It would be a great deal of work and change-- challenging me in many ways-- but it might mean less work at home and that could be just what I need in this new year. I think that most everything that the job entails I could learn, though certainly not all of it would be desirable. But, I could put my own spin on it. I will talk more with Caleb to see if it's even worth applying.

In the next couple of years I need to start the National Board Certification for Teachers. It will be a good experience to tighten up my pedagogy and keep me on my toes and the pay bumps will also be a good thing for the family. Alright, I better go and try to write a portion of this novel. The kids continue to make me happy and grateful for life. Walks down by the river with Lily in the past two days have been very centering. We go half way through Quinn's nap and it makes for some good down time for me and for Luke.

Next week I have the housing classes in the evenings and that should be plenty to set my mind racing. Still, a house or housing will happen and I have a job and i am grateful. My kids are well fed and content and Luke is a very good father. I must count my blessings every day!

She's been surrounded by more noise in these 6 weeks than I probably allowed Quinn to experience in the first year. She's been out and about in the world 10x more than her big brother. He was the picture of mellow. He ate and slept and looked divine. She eats, but fast and efficiently and even then, her leg might be kicking, she gets flooded out by milk and has to stop and burp... she's a very different child. In her moments of calm, which are not rare, she looks around curious at the world and is very engaged. She follows sounds, locks eyes with her Dad or I and makes cooing noises and imitates speech. She tries to push up on her feet now and again when being held, and likes to be held while listening to the lullabies Dave Mathews CD. She has started to sleep in the crib now and again and handles it well. More often than not though, she sleeps next to one of us on the diaper changing pad, which serves as her own private co-sleeper with raised sides. She can go through 6 diapers in 20 minutes depending on her stomach's condition. With Luke, she managed to pee in her own mouth once. He had her legs raised to wipe her bottom and at that moment, well, magic:) Yesterday, Lily and Grandma and I headed to a rainy River Hills Day garage sale event. She slept through the whole rainy time and woke up in the car to have one of her rare spit ups. I am experiencing parenting with such a different attitude this time around. I can see a time when Lily can spend the night away from me and it won't be as terrifying as it was with Quinn. Her brother was 2, maybe 3 when he first went on an overnight. Granted, it will be some time before she's ready to go that many hours way with the whole bottle deal, but it will happen and a part of me will welcome the chance to have a solo night again with Quinn. This past night, Quinn was with Chris and Sheryl and Lily went to bed late- as is her pattern- but she slept really well throughout the night and well into the morning. It's 11 now and she's still sleeping:) Sweet girl. Lily is often plagued by hiccups, poor girl. She has the typical baby acne and coming off of some hot days last week, she had some heat rash. In her baby plumpness she has the many folds around her neck and face. Her second chin is quite pronounced:) She has marvelous baby toes that look like tiny fingers. When she is still somewhat alert and not yet in deep sleep, her toes and fingers show it. Her toes curl or her fingers splay... it's all very cute. Loving my children and being there for them both is a full time job, but one I would not trade. The other day I remarked that all people should have the profound privilege of holding a baby in their arms while they sleep. The total trust and dependence in that moment is overwhelming and lovely. While there may be stress and issues in life that need attending to, you can't take yourself away from that zen moment with a baby.