Lily is laying under her IKEA toy. She's grown so much lately that she can firmly hold the hanging toys in her hands. Her legs kick and tense themselves as she engages. Nursing with Lily is such a funny experience. She stops often to turn her head and examine the world. She's just as likely to stop, just so she can look up at me and make eye contact, smiling as her eyes follow me. She's talking a ton right now, gabbing enthusiastically. She's wearing 6-9 month clothes and we're trying to navigate the changing seasons. She speaks in long phrases and sentences, with expressive grunts and enthusiasm. She has an easy smile each time I come home from work. I have to work for smiles a bit harder when she's sleep deprived. She does love her Daddy but she seems at ease with me, despite my long hours at work. She has never had a tense bath that I can think of. She remains a marvel when it comes to bed time and turning to her side and sucking her finger. She loves to grab her toes now. Sometimes, Luke will prop her up and she sits forward, reaching. She's toppled forward a couple times, but she always seems moving forward, quickly. Luke worries a bit that she will be the type to skip crawling altogether. We discuss how Quinn has his father's temperament and might well be cool with B's, even when capable of A's, but that Lily will be driven and intense, like her mother. Who knows how much of this is authentic evaluation of our children and how much we're projecting. Either way, we love them as they are.

"That was so close"
"Good job guys"
"I have an idea!"

Quinny is standing on the blue nursing pillow and working on his balance, alternately saying, "Whoa, Whooa, Whoa!!" He's wearing the tops to his buzz light year pajamas and playing with this Star Wars Legos. We recently returned from a trip to Le Sueur where Father and Son raided the cubby hole and brought back with them a fleet of new SW toys, including tapes and books. Fortunately, Luke was able to find the recordings on line as the tapes were in sad shape. Quinn enjoys listening to the stories and turning the pages when he hears the beep beep of R2D2.

This morning Lily, Quinn and I were snuggling in the big bed and Quinn asked us all to hug one another. And then, with his head tucked against his little sister, Quinn reported that "we have the best family ever!"

My son is delightfully tall. I see him laying on the bed upstairs for his afternoon nap and he's more than half the length of the bed. His long, thin legs are so wonderful to watch as he runs. Yesterday we ran together to the park, along with Kate, the daughter of Shane, the friend of Luke's from high school that I am encouraging to apply for the CAHS position. Quinn talks so very much and I love the sound of his voice. He has so many directions to give, insights to offer and these statements might be punctuated with a line like: "that's the point, Mom". He continues to be very devoted to his Mother and can be quite devastated if I ever have to scold him or yell. Even if I don't yell, he approximates the experience of being reprimanded by me as being "yelled" at and he sobs quite terribly. Poor boy.

Lily has such a define little personality, intense and adorable. She continues to sleep well (knock on wood) at night and also continues her pattern of not sleeping for lengthy naps during the day. She has developed unhappiness around strangers and this has created some complexes among the grandmothers. But, my mom was patient with her today and has had a better time of it with her. We also think it has to do with scents and she has a response to strong ones.

Luke may be on the cusp of something great professionally, in partnership with his mother. I almost can't let myself feel the joy of two paychecks once again because that might mean dealing with the stress of the past year and that's something I have deeply compartmentalized. The new job causes me both stress and joy. I had two successful intakes the other day and at the same time, feel like I am always waiting for permission or guidance when I would rather have autonomy to make decisions for myself. But, this is what the job is and I will learn to be patient and smart about bringing decisions to the powers that be. If they don't know about it, perhaps that is all the better, right?

Quinn and I have been romping together at the Great River Water Park pool, much to his delight. He loves to throw himself forward into the water, even if it means some bruised knees. He also loves to b thrown, swung back and forth to a one-two-three count and then sent splashing into the water. He's quite adorable to watch enthusiastically imitating some sort of dog paddle. He loves the little slides there and revels in the open space. He also likes the outdoor pool at HIghland, but not quite so much as the indoor spot. I like not having to lather up in serious sunblock. As I've purchased the Aquatics pass, we'll be swimming often to make that money worthwhile.

Life is chaotic and busy. My work at the new job is keeping me forever thinking and doing. Yesterday I had my Campus training, did lots of correspondence, made calls, etc. Gracious! It's so surreal to me that my maternity leave is hardly one at all. That first month I did center on Lily and little much of anything else aside from the family. But, about mid-June, the pace of life just accelerated and hasn't slowed. We've found a house and signed a purchase agreement. That was a chore and a half to cart poor Lily from house to house in the mornings. When we weren't doing that, I've been taking meetings almost every morning so I can connect with staff and get rolling in my new digs. It's difficult for me to imagine myself in charge of the school but I am hopeful I can do it well. I've connected with the majority of the staff and will be patient with those who are still not engaging.

Lily continues to prove that her personality it very different from her brother's. She can be very intense when it comes to being sleepy and not wanting to drift off. She will not nurse herself to sleep 9 times out of 10 and she won't relax into nursing unless she's really hungry. Otherwise, she'll snack and then develop a bubble and be very upset. There are methods to caring for her though and they simply require more heavy lifting than Luke or I was used to with Quinn.

We're working on the Cars for Poop project right now and if Quinn goes in the potty he gets a new Cars car. It's turning out to be an expensive project to support, but I hope it works. The star wars project was a total wash since we had set it up to be too complex. Then, we just ended up giving him the legos for small markers, even though the cost of the set was high. We went to lunch yesterday at S. Clair broiler and then walked down to Peapod. Gracious, that's a dangerous store. They have so many cool kids toys and items. Lily got herself a beautiful wooden rattle and Quinn walked away with the Melissa and Doug cookie set, as well as a set of placemats for the table.

Quinn continues to have a nightly waffle and fruit snack. It turns out he'll eat oranges and strawberries, but only at school. Quinn is back in vacation bible school with Grandma this week and made me a sheep and for the first time seemed to indicate that it was for me. When I walked into the classroom yesterday to pick him up he was really sweetly and with great focus, playing with Noah's ark. Cute. We are listening to his cd quite often and no one can get the SonQuest songs our of their head.

Lily has striped her poor little head with bald spots due to her swinging hands. When she stirs or gets tired, she swipes her hands against her head and its caused some bald spots. It looks almost like she's divided her head into two parts- top and bottom. Funny little girl. She likes to hold toys now and enjoys the little dragon fly from her chair. She loves to stare at the IKEA fish we have hanging from the fan and she likes the wooden frame dealio we got at IKEA the other week. She loves to talk and jibber jabber and is an enthusiastic kicker. There are very few nursing sessions where her legs actually stop moving. The night nurses are the most relaxing as she will actually lay still and snuggle next to me. Lily loves when I sing to her and more often than not, when I approach her for the first look or moment, she brightens and smiles when she sees me. She is certainly growing and putting on weight, but not too terribly. She is good about standing up with our help and LUke has recently started popping her in the boppy chair. I'm doing all I can to pump and have bottles ready. I'm not ahead by much more than a bottle at a time so I need to work really vigilantly on that for the school year. She takes a bottle beautifully though without any complaint and Luke has started to crave the simplicity of that. For me, however, if I'm here, I'm not going to give up to the bottle. She's already a huge fan of her nook and needs that to settle into sleep.

Quinn had a major meltdown yesterday when we came back from errands after picking him up from school. He wanted to watch a movie, I expect, and we said no because it was time for a nap. He threw his Sheriff car and we took it from him. He was devastated and worked himself into quite a tearful state. Luke worked with him, as I had to feed the Lilster, who was committing in her usual noncommittal fashion to the meal, and he wanted Quinn to be calm when he saw me-- as he wanted me. When he gets into that breathless hyperventilating state Luke does his best to model breathing and to get him to calm down. I held Quinn a very long time and we talked together. It can really devastate the poor lad when he perceives me to be angry with him or having yelled at him, sensitive soul. Ok, must sleep. More later.

Oh, the joys and heart ache of parenthood. Quinn was back in this week to see Sekhon to check on his ears. She also did a full check of reflexes and the works. She detected a tightness in one of his ankle cords and in cooperation with his speech and low muscle concerns, she believes its possible that he has a very mild case of cerebral palsy. The news was very alarming to me, even as Luke did his best to express that Sekhon said this was not something to worry about. But, when you look online, the reasons for this occurring all point to some role I had to play in Quinn's life, active or otherwise. Did the long labor, which caused his torticollis, bring on this condition? Did something go amiss while he grew in my belly? Uggh. I look at this phenomenal little man who I adore with everything in me and I don't want him to have any more physical challenges. So, we're off to Gilette's Hospital for a consultation and hopefully we'll learn more-- including news that he does not have CP. His speech therapist says he's made good progress and has the sounds he needs for when he's 5 and 6 and 7, but doesn't have the K and G sounds he is meant to have at age 4. We're up for evaluation for HP coverage and she's going to lobby for more time. The CP would likely result in physical therapy sessions. Ah, the sweet world of co-pays.

Poor Lily had a terrible cold this week and had quite the runny nose, cough and sneezing fit. We had a very active weekend though and so that may have lowered her defenses. She's come out of it well though and seems to have turned the corner. Yesterday she had a really good visit with Matthea while Luke and I were out looking at houses. She is doing so very well holding objects and likes in particular her dragon fly from the bouncy chair. She also loves watching her black and white rattle and will hold it herself. Lily continues to get up twice a night and Luke and I have a good system in place for us all. She engaged in some longer, more relaxed nursing this week while she was ill and I confess that it felt like some quality bonding to help her to feel more comfortable and improve her health. Of course, now she's back to more abbreviated feedings and loves to kick while nursing, which is so NOT relaxing to me as I try and make sure she doesn't catapult herself off the pillow. She continue to be a total pro when it comes to the bottle and that sort of freedom and responsibility for me is odd. I struggle to find time to calmly pump and every ounce seems like gold to me. With only a month left of summer, I've got to get a collection going so that she'll be ok when I return to school. Alright, must get ready for Paul's visit this morning to write up our offer on the Benson place.

more later.

Antics at the river with Quinn
OUr first playdate with McCall at our place
Quinn and Dad wrestling
Quinn's bummer carpet burn
More fun at the pool and lake
Lily bumping up into 6 mo onesies.
Lily watching her fish and the new IKEA toy
Lily likes my singing

My children are very different from one another. While they looking strikingly like the other, their personalities really vary. It has been a challenge for me to reconcile how different Lily is from the infant Quinn, especially because she needs new skills from me, aside from the ability to nurse. For Quinn, nursing was the answer to every dilemma. For comfort, to sleep, to eat... it all meant he loved to nurse and relaxed into it. Lily can kick her way through a whole nursing session and only does it because she knows she has to. If she's not hungry, she's not nursing, even if she's tense and tired. At night, she'll have a longer, more peaceful nurse, but I assume this is simply because she's already half asleep. If she has a bubble or gas, she'll refuse to eat until it's taken care of. Now, one one hand, Lily has taken a bottle several times and is a pro at it now. This means I have the freedom to leave the house and take care of non-Mommy business. On the other hand, I feel less needed and even when she does nurse, I don't necessarily feel wanted. My darling girl smiles and talks when we interact and I sing to her and this is a saving grace. Who ever thought my singing would be something that would yield such warm fuzzies:) Quinn continues to be on the children's version of an emotional roller coaster as he processes the changes to his life with a sister. Some days are really uneventful and others seem speckled with his struggle. We've gotten an aquatics pass for the city water parks and this activity helps, but it does contribute to the above dilemma of not feeling necessary to Lily. I can take Quinn swimming and he loves the one on one time with me, but if I've worked that morning at school, I roll right into the afternoon with little time with her. She does love a new toy we picked up at IKEA and is really fascinated with it. She's just so much more independent of me than her brother. Quinn could nurse for hours it seemed. I'm glad we kept Quinn in preschool for the summer even if he's arrived there on time maybe once. It is a nice consistency to his day, even if arrival varies. Yesterday I trucked down to my Mom's place so I could keep myself awake (Quinn wouldn't nap) and had dinner with her. Lily continues to find her somewhat disagreeable, for whatever reason and the poor girl is bound to hear that story from Grandma from years to come, like its personal or something:) Quinn loves watching Bolt recently and I admit that it's a pretty clever film, despite Miley Cyrus being a voice. Quinn persists in his diaper wearing and I am thankful that the pediatrician told me not to try anything with vigor until Lily was 6 months old because its just too much going on. His chatter continues to be very fun to listen to. He's very adept at setting a series of sequential objectives for us. "We'll go to school and then you'll pick me up and then we'll go to the shopping store and get my fruit snacks and then we'll come home and watch a movie, K?" Yesterday he chose to pack his own dinner to take to Grandma's. He didn't eat the dinner, but it was a cute act of independence (the packing, that is). He remains pretty laid back about clothes selection with only the occasional protest about what he's wearing. He LOVES his new tennies, a fabulous lime green and grey pair of North face shoes. He says they make it so he's faster and can jump higher and that's true. He's quite dapper in them. His knees and shins are a canvas for summer scrapes and bruises and he is largely unphased by them unless he happens to be tired and notices them once again. His love for elbows and ears continues, but mostly just in the sleepy, needy moments of the day. He does want me to sit with him and watch a movie, or watch him throw himself belly first onto the bed or ottoman or couch. He loves that leaping idea. He also likes to show me how he can step down from the ottoman. I've said it often enough that he identifies those actions as meaning he has strong legs or arms. Pretty cool. His reading of books is becoming more and more engaged. He has to know what's happening in the detail with the illustrations and he often takes the book from my hands now to study the picture and make sure it aligns with the words. Lily has been a trooper and a half with the house hunting and will head out on her third trip with Paul, Luke and I tomorrow morning to look at homes. We really like one on Blair but I can't let myself get lost in the desire in case the financing doesn't come through. It will be at the closing or in the days leading up to the closing that my heart will really start to race with the reality of it all. I'm working very hard at my new job and I keep telling myself when I have to leave the baby in the morning that it's for the family that I'm doing all of this. I don't know if its the second child thing or Lily specifically and her temperament, but I don't feel panic in leaving her for a bit. I was all nerves whenever I was away from Quinn as an infant and didn't spend a night away from him for 2-3 years. Now, I can go to work and while I have guilt- of course- I get through it. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I love my children very much-- both of them-- but if I want this house for them then I have to be good at my job so I keep it and the money comes in. I don't know when Luke will have a job again and I have to be the breadwinner-- and make good bread. Alright, better try and head back to bed before Lily wakes for her early morning feeding. Seriously, the girl gets up just twice the whole night! How wonderful and strange and amazing!

My daughter is all rolls and folds and a crooked smile when her head comes to read on her shoulder or mine. She has beautiful eyes and I spend lots of time holding her in front of the mirror so I can watch her peaceful little face. While she's been a bit more fussy lately, she is still nearly always calm in my arms. She is going through a phase where she wants to be held by Mom and Dad as opposed to others, but this seems normal to me developmentally. She now knows who we are and likes our presence. Everyone else seems like a stranger and that's reasonably alarming for an infant who craves safety and closeness. Quinn was away for the night with Nana and Papa and we'll meet up with them at Lee and Kris' after they go to the parade. Quinn has been a talking wonder lately and loves when I sing to him my made up songs like, "Quinn is jumping on the bed..." He is quite hilarious. He quoted his Dad yesterday describing his tent as "nice and cozy". He is making good progress is speech and we're being better about working with him on his homework. There are two more sessions of summer school and then he'll be home full-time for a bit. Last week he and I went to the public pool over at Minnehaha Park and I had a hoot watching his playful and carefree habits. He had with him his birthday present from June, these torpedo things for the water. He threw them into the water and a herd of kids gathered to chase them around. Some drama ensued among the kids who wanted in on Quinn's action, but my son was completely oblivious to it all and jumped around putting wet foot prints on the cement and using a rock bench of sorts to jump up with his hands propping him. So many times lately he wants to show us that he's hopping on one foot, or stepping down from the tall ottoman or trying to stretch his legs so he climbs two or three stairs at a time. In other news, he did earn his Commander Cody because he pooped in the potty. When he did that, however, he didn't have his penis tucked in and so he also peed also down his leg, soaking his sock and shoe. Yesterday, we made our seasonal trip to REI and purchased a new pair of outdoor shoes. They're quite cool looking and he was super pumped about their fit; this was a good thing considering he had walked into the store wanting Star Wars shoes and he came out light on his feet, able to run and leap faster:) Nachos are a new fun snack for Quinn. He still has a pretty narrow palate, but he eats enough healthy things periodically that we choose not to get stressed about it. We need to expand the family meal plan period, so I can't say Quinn is to blame for his culinary choices. He's not interested in trying new things, but we do our part in that we occasionally introduce new things.

Lily had learned the comfort of a lengthy nursing. She spent the first two months very practical about the whole thing and expedient. Now, she can relax into it and nurse for a bit. Her 5-6 hour sleep periods have for the last couple of days traded for 3-4 hours, but the joy of LUke putting her to bed every night is super awesome. She doesn't nurse herself to sleep in the evenings like her brother, so I have the freedom to put Quinn to bed, which I like very much. Luke and I had two meals out and about with each other this weekend and Lily was a pretty good date companion. Sweet girl. I find that I do like when she looks especially cute in a special outfit. With Quinn, I thought he looked dashing and adorable in anything-- what were my choices, anyway, but with Lily there are so many options out there-- like two distinct wardrobes. We'll see how this plays out over the years. Lily too really enjoys when I sing to her and she talks and talks with her lovely little voice. Her smile is so bright and her face so animated when we talk back and forth. Sometimes it seems almost like she's trying to sing with me and I have to hold myself back from interrupting her:)

So busy:) The world of house hunting and buying is quite intense and lately, mornings and mind power have all been devoted to this task. We're meeting with a second realtor tomorrow in search of a good match for our search. Then, we get to start looking at houses. On one hand, it's an ideal time for Luke to be home so we can do this together. On the other hand, we have definite financial needs that are coming to a head. With his unemployment done, we're in a pickle financially and it will make paying a mortgage impossible. Still, we forge ahead and pray that all will work out.

Lily is blessing us with long sleep sessions at night and is happy to have her father put her to sleep each night. For the first time today she had a really lengthy feeding, but otherwise, she is typically Miss Efficiency. Quinn had a series of lovely birthday celebrations starting with a great bash at Eagle's Nest with his preschool pals. It was a great celebration with the friends and parents-- and we timed things well with food and whatnot. Quinn has been catapulted into the Galactic Heroes series of Star Wars materials and likes them very much. This was compliments of Tony, one of his St. Kate's pals. He was also joined at the party by McCall, June, Luke, Max, ND, Owen and Ben. It was a super nice time. Sunday, Father's Day, was a day at Newell Park with the Edberg's and we had gorgeous weather and traipsed through Como Zoo and then back to the park for leftovers. Everyone had a nice time so we were glad that our hosting duties went well. On his actual day, we took him to see Toy Story 3 and had Noodles for dinner, his favorite. Yesterday was the final bash with the McCammon's and we got an ice cream cake from Izzy's, which was divine. All in all, I believe we rang in his new year with lots of attention and expense:) Still, the poor lad suffers somewhat now that Lily is here, though he does love her and has adjusted as well as we could have hoped. Our bed routine is pretty set now and that sort of predictability for him has to help. We've gone a week now without major protestation about going to school and that is a positive thing; before, i think he wanted to stay home with us and saw that Lily had that privilege. We're coming up on a long weekend for the 4th so we'll see what happens.

The kids had their respective appts. this week for 2 months and 4 years. Poor Quinn described his shot as sharp and was quite saddened by it. Lily also disliked her 3 shots and one oral vaccine. Her check up was smooth sailing and she's weighing in the the 94%. Quinn is also fit as a fiddle and making good progress. Unfortunately, she noticed issues in both his ears and his right eye so we're off to the specialists post haste. Of course, we'd be making these visits anyways because of my issues, but now we have some cause other than heredity. Uggh.