I wonder if the average household has nearly a dozen storm troopers in it. I wonder too if that same household has three lightsabers, three pairs of Star Wars pajama sets...

In loving Luke and selecting for our first date movie, Empire Strikes Back, I probably set all of this in motion years ago. I knew that Luke loved Star Wars from the first days of our dating. I knew that having a son meant having a legacy and not in the, "we share a last name sort of way" but rather in the, "I have someone to play with Star Wars Legos with" sort of manner. There are many things that bond father and son, but Star Wars is pretty high up there. Luke's love of Quinn's love of Star Wars is very cute and because I love both of these individuals more than anything, I tend to encourage it. Tonight, there's some sort of SW Lego set on Swoopo and it's only at $1 right now. It was up on the computer screen and Quinn saw it and believed it was a magical computer portal to a SW game. I went to the Lego website and tried to find a game. Instead, I found some fun Lego SW video clips that the two boys are now standing together and watching. Quinn is actually in the office chair and Luke is perched over him, happy and entertained by this new family find. The two boys were playing Lego SW on the Wii earlier and Quinn is coming along in his remote skills. Of course, Quinn also used the word stupid for the very first time yesterday and this was when his Clone soldier was speaking meanly to the Storm Trooper and calling him stupid. oh my. The lessons one will learn from SW.

We have a new car and Quinn is all abuzz with it. At first, it threw him off and we had a couple, "where is our car?" moments in the parking lot as a family, with Quinn not able to immediately spot our former embarrassing wreck of a car. Quinn came back from his grandparents house this weekend and said that he needed a new pair of SW pajamas because the ones he had been wearing were dirty. Of course, instead of really taking on that battle, what did we do? Went to the "shopping store" and bought a new pair of jammies. They are rather cute, if I do say so myself. They're lego SW and red. Quinn even put on his own jammies tonight. Well, at least 90% of them:)

Quinn had a good overnight with Nana and Papa but I think he's accustomed to the down time of weekends and has been a little sassier the past couple of days. I think we'll need to save overnights for three days weekends or situations like that. Otherwise, his temperament and schedule is a bit much:) Still, his grandparents adore him and I am glad to nurture that love with extended visits.

Quinn is all about Cinnamon Toast Crunch lately and we also have a liking for chocolate milk. Noodles and Co. continue to be a go-to sure thing for lunches at school, as Pros reported to us the other day. More later. Loving my boys!

Quinn has a new ride to carry him from place to place. After recent weeks of increasingly uncomfortable and potentially dangerous travel in the Honda Civic, we have purchased a used Honda Accord to take over family travel duties. The poor Civic has seen better times and unfortunately, none of those times are recent:) To be fair, the faithful car has been extremely low maintenance and trouble free. But for the terrible dents in the back, it has been reliable- if not aesthetically pleasing. When I brought the car in this summer for a small recall, they told me then that the struts would need to be replaced within 6 months. They were right. A hard winter of St. Paul roads filled with potholes aggravated a worn down car and broke down my resolve. So, yesterday Luke and I had an adult sort of day planned with Quinn in the care of his Nana and Papa and on his way to Le Sueur for a sleepover, so I applied for a loan through my bank, was approved and we set out for new horizons. Despite the appeal of Volkswagon Passats, my research revealed that that choice would be a mechanical risk and perhaps send us into repair heaven. We'd love the ride and feel pretty in it, but we'd spend oodles on repairs. The Honda Accord on the other hand had a great reliability record. Despite the long wait for final numbers and financing, the day was a success and Luke and I were delighted to drive home a new car. I drove the Civic behind Luke and naturally, went over a pothole that caused the back right tire to explore. So, now the car we hoped to become a trusty second vehicle at some point is sitting sadly in the driveway with the donut tire on it, requiring immediate service to be usable in any fashion- nice:)

Anywho, Luke and I had a marvelous dinner at Cafe Maude as a late Christmas celebration for ourselves and then we headed to a move at Southdale to complete our date day. Today we're going to check out a splendidly reviewed breakfast place in the Twin Cities before heading down to see our gorgeous little boy, see our tiny niece and visit some with his family. For the first time in ages, I don't have to have a lesson plan for tomorrow because my student teacher takes over. Wild. It's going to be very odd to NOT be in charge in my classroom, but this was one of the features of taking on a cooperating teacher that I knew would be sweet. I'll observe him and certainly feel the pangs of separation from the kids, but I'll also be able to plan for the maternity leave and get things situated for the sub to be.

Quinn was a darling boy yesterday as we met his grandparents at IKEA for the hand-off. He insisted on wearing his new Darth Vader shirt and ate a great lunch there. He held hands with his Papa and was patient about waiting for Papa while the car seat was moved in and such. Luke and I marveled yesterday that it is very fun to watch Quinn's long term memory evolve and he holds on to events so well lately. He spoke of fishing with Nana and Papa last summer over lunch together:) Most things are referenced as "last morning" as opposed to yesterday or last summer, but he's working on it. We had a pretty good week working on the potty changing thing. We started big with Star Wars incentives and learned we had to back off our grand plan a little. But, he doesn't mind his new toilet seat and has used it a few times now without too much stress. Quinn has been a snuggling darling lately, though I suppose that's not new for him. The other night he wanted to cuddle, but was slightly awake and as is one of his favorite pasttimes, he rubs the skin on my elbow when its relaxed. Something about the wrinkled skin and funny texture entertains him. He's taken to giving Luke gentle bites on the ear when Luke changes his diaper. Funny.

We had a prenatal appt. on Friday and she's measuring right on schedule, which is lovely news. We have an ultrasound next Monday and it will be good to see her weight and more detailed progress. This week we'll sign up for baby classes for the next couple of months. We're also trying to get Quinn into the Learn to Swim program through the U. Dad's class recommended it over community ed so it's worth a shot.

Next weekend is Quinn's second pal birthday party at Edinborough Park for his bff McCall;) It should be very fun to attend.

Turns out that one thing that raises my blood pressure is the stress of my mother:) She was trying to tackle a little too much this past Friday in terms of errands before getting Quinn at school and it has me frazzled and annoyed, even a I realize that I try to cram too much into short periods of time myself. Anywho, after my annoyance, my blood pressure was taken and the top number was at least 20 points higher than the previous day when I was in for my sinus infection. Interesting the affect that stress has on your body. All in all, Quinn loves his time with his Grandma and Luke and I love the time we have together because she watches him every Friday afternoon/evening. But, she's aging and slowing down and that causes us some anxiety about her facilitating Quinn's care. We need to step up and set parameters that allow her to be more successful and not over-do it.

Quinn is the happy new owner of a green light saber, a tribute to Ahsoka from the Clone Wars. We havent' had Phineus and FErb or really any other programming on in the house lately except for Clone Wars cartoons. We've been good lately about his tv watching. He was a sucker for G-Force for the week after he was given that movie at Valentine's Day, but he's passed on the guinea pigs for now- thank goodness. So, storm troopers rule his little world and apparently, even though we "seem" to have a dozen of them, they're clone and rebel and odd other branches of the Star Wars armed forces. Who knows what that even means:) Oh wait, Luke does.

Luke and I are on a nice roll with learning new card games and making time for quiet us time in each day. We learned Canasta on Friday and though we haven't been able to play it since, I think it will be a nice progressive game. We also picked up a car card game too which is pretty entertaining. There's a relaxation to playing and a calm to it.

Quinn loves the Snowman book and it quite excellent at narrating it himself. I find it incredibly hard to improv narration with only pictures present and Quinn knows that Daddy tells that story, as opposed to me. I don't know why I find it to difficult to do, but I look at the pictures and just want someone else to have the words there for me:)

Alright, I'll try to head back to sleep since this is a kid free morning:) Loving and missing Quinn, but hope he's having a terrific adventure with his grandparents.

This morning I'm downstairs on the computer and I'm waiting for the sweet strains of my son calling my name. Yesterday he slept in til almost 7:30 so it's possible I have some time for blogging and computer whatnot. My jaw is killing me because I think I'm grinding or clenching at night. I've lately seemed to have more tense dreams and with that comes the clenching. A while back when I returned to the dentist, she noted some deterioration on my right side from grinding, but I don't recall any pain there. I don't know if it's just the anxiety of pregnancy and whatnot or something bigger. I hope it's not dental in nature because I'm really not in a "want to go to the dentist place". But, we'll see.

So, my sweet son and I are still co-sleepers after 3 some years. It started when I went back to school after taking a term away from school. Quinn had been sleeping in his crib and I would get up multiple times a night for feedings and then head back to bed for short spurts. Heading back to school meant that I had less time with him and needed more sleep, so to bed he came with us and that seemed to help both my emotional state and physical sleep needs. And then, he stayed. And, to be fair, who wouldn't. If the people you love most in the world are the first things you see in the morning and the thing that reminds you that you feel safe when you wake, well, who wants to abandon that for the bar-like conditions of the crib. At least, Quinn had made his choice. But, as time has gone on, he's gotten taller and stretchier and wanted for more space. Me, I've adjusted to the space issues and sacrificed that comfort for the peace of mind that comes from hearing and smelling your child whenever I happen to wake. I adore the cuddling and snuggles and the feeling that Quinn knows he is incredibly beloved. I love that story time in bed leads to sleeping. In an ideal world, we'd have giant beds to spare in the house and I could bounce between beds to snuggle with all my beloved boys, but alas there is just one. Over the years, Luke's body has been much abused by Quinn's night time movements and though he loves his son dearly and appreciates the merits to co-sleeping, he often abandons the big bed and finds a safe haven in Quinn's solo bed. But, we're making plans. We're intending to turn the big room into the kids room and get bunk beds for Quinn. After the Eagle Bluff trip he was all about the bed with a ladder and this may be the transition piece we need. I'll likely crash in the bottom bunk so I can be near the baby and keep her from waking Quinn too often, but I'll also be in his space, just below him, and that will bring him some comfort- we hope. We're starting a more concerted effort to potty train Quinn so we'll let that be the priority for now, but once we have those skills in the bag, then I think we'll start to transition the rooms. We don't want to bring on too many changes for little Quinn, since knowing he's getting a sister is awfully big anyways.

Quinn is all about the Clone Wars, of course. He loves his Storm Troopers and has been brought this Storm Troopers pillow into the big room for sleeping. He sleeps with his Storm Troopers and likes to pretend to be them. His stick remains his gun and when he plays Star Wars Legos on the Wii, that's the character he chooses to be. It's pretty adorable watching Quinn and his Dad play Wii together. Quinn is slowly but surely getting down the nuances to the remote and learning to walk about and shoot. For now, all of his associations with guns and whatnot are securely in this fictional world. At some point, he'll learn that guns kill things that aren't droids, but I think that's another big developmental leap that we're not to yet.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch is our new big cereal that we like. He loved the cupcakes that I picked up from the SweetShop the other day. They were quite delicious, I must say. Quinn has helped me do some baking in the last couple of weeks. We made a birthday cake last weekend and yesterday we made chocolate chip cookies. I think I'm going to make some chocolate chip scones this morning.

Today I have to finish writing the script for the dinner theater and I'd really rather not. Perhaps this year will be my last... I have to be honest with myself about what the first year with an infant is like and how that affects my professionally. I have to be prepared- with two kids now- to make smart choices about how I attend to the needs of my students as opposed to the idea that I have to be the parade kind of teacher, always putting on a show to make sure people notice I'm a good enough educator. If anything, I feel like I should start working on the board certification process in the next couple of years for additional training AND pay. I have no idea what lies ahead for Luke's professional aspirations, especially in this recession climate. He's gifted and a hard worker, but who can see that when everyone looks that way on a resume. I pray that soon someone fantastic will see his talent and mentor him as he so deserves.

I want for Quinn and Luke for them to continue to have the carefree relationship that comes from Luke not having to work long hours and commute, but I also want for Luke the pride and joy that comes from developing as an artist and professional. Last night they had wonderful wrestling antics. Quinn loves tussling with his Dad, getting tickled and laughing. Last night he would pull Quinn's legs back, out from under him and Quinn would land gently on his little face on the bed. Quinn had two cookies before bed last night so he had lots of energy to extinguish. This didn't mean, however, that he didn't get up after storytime to have his waffle with Dad downstairs. Quinn likely knows that if he asks me, we can eat upstairs, since I am the queen of food in bed. Luke is more consistent about wanting Quinn to eat at the table, like a regular little boy:) I'm sure that in me there is still that piece that is simply delighted to watch him eat- period- after he struggled so long to eat normally. Speaking of, we need to ratchet up his diet of veggies. He's in a good place with fruit and the rest of his diet (minus some aversions to meat products) but we've fallen down on the job of introducing new veggies (ones he hasn't tried before).

Must complete this before the day gets away from me. Loving my family to pieces, as always.

Introducing Roger

A couple of weeks ago we broke the news to Quinn about his baby sister. His initial impression was rather sweet and he wanted to be able to see into my belly in order to greet her. Of course, the layers of skin and whatnot prevented his view. He likes to press on my belly button- as if that is the key access point- and has kissed the belly and greeted the baby sister good morning. Naturally, this tacit acceptance is tempered by moments when he does not want a baby sister and doesn't want her to come home. His favorite names for his sibling to be are Roger, Ted, Tennis Ball and some other male name I feel I have forgotten. Oh well:) Right now, Quinn is watching G-Force and calmly accepting- for once- that someone is running the vacuum at the same time. Usually, if he's watching something and we deign to begin cleaning that is louder, he comes out and lets us know it is too loud. G-force was a gift from Nana and Papa for V-Day. Despite the action of the film the thing that Quinn most takes from it is the dance moves of the guinea pigs, who he refers to as his friends. Scratch the above statement: Quinn just came into the room and held his ear, his sign language for too loud. Yesterday we went to the Children's Museum for the Dino-Mite Valentine's Day party. We haven't used our membership in months, but Quinn was thrilled to be back and played for a long time driving the bus, working in the restaurant kitchen and shopping in the grocery store. His favorite haunt yesterday, however, was the music studio place where music plays and the kids perform on these video backgrounds. He was a huge fan of All Star by Smash Mouth and played a guitar over and over to it, dancing around and doing all kinds of performance antics. It was pretty delightful to watch. Quinn's progress report came out for the ECC, as conferences are next week, and it speaks to how he is a happy and friendly child, kind to others and not afraid to ask for help. Apparently, he gets easily distracted during group time and will often ask to go to his cot. As this is nap time, that seems ok to me:) Their goals for him are to increase his independence when it comes to putting on his own gear, to work on toilet training and to increase his self-direction. We bought a new seat for the top of the toilet to use for more potty training endeavors. His business didn't actually fit into his little boy seat we purchased a while back. SO, we'll make one of those reward charts, find some incentives and try to motivate him out of his trusty pull-ups which he is in no hurry to leave behind. New, wonderful phrases include, "Wow, that's amazing", "Awesome" "That will be exciting" and more phrases that seem to honor my attempts to always be using different vocabulary with him:) School continues to be a positive place for him. McCall and ND are still his BFF's and he doesn't seem phased by not "winning" when we run to the cars with ND. He's pleased as punch to simply run with his friends and that's the attitude I'd like him to have. Valentine's bags at school were sweet, though it took ages to deliver them to the bags with Quinn's help. He couldn't decide if he wanted to hold the bags, our bag of Valentine's or actually put something in the bags. Ah, the joys of indecision. The other day we went to Target and among other things, had Quinn help to select his Valentine's Day present. He started out determined to purchase a storm trooper costume, but Luke figured the mask over his had would likely freak him out once it was on. So, instead we headed to the Lego aisle where he proceeded to pick a clone war vehicle, even as Luke and I tried to upgrade him again and again to other more lucrative lego sets. I'm not sure our approach was sound, but it was a hoot to see us grabbing more expensive items to trade with the one he actually wanted. Quinn is all about making forts and houses out of the bedroom pillows, which is pretty cute. Naturally, our love for playing storm troopers, shooting at droids and acting as jedi knights is still very much present. We bought some new books the other day to add to his Star Wars collection and he's able to differentiate between the new and old sets of books when it comes to bedtime and what he wants to read. I adore listening to Quinn read aloud to himself as he summarizes the pictures and tells th tale in his own words. This morning he was quite loudly going through one of his Lightning McQueen board books. Pretty funny stuff. Quinn happily continues to be a marvelously happy and affectionate boy. When he snuggles with Daddy it is very normal for Quinn to reach back and grab Dad's ear lobes or set his hand on Dad's cheek. He loves to cuddle and spoon as well. He loves to play with the funny wrinkly skin on the back of my elbows, which is odd, but entertaining. Both Quinn and I have matching "fake" injuries on our forearms today with Buzz Lightyear bandaids on them. We also all have temporary tattoos on our hands, compliments of Quinn's Valentine's Day bag. Quinn loves to jump off the end of our bed shouting "To Infinity and Beyond". Funny. Luke finally got his iphone and so we've been taking more pictures using that. We need a new camera for the arrival of baby so some of her life will be chronicled. 11 weeks to go. We have an appt. this coming Friday and in two weeks we go back for another ultrasound to check out the cord and development. Considering how many people have asked me if I'm giving birth really soon, I must look to others like I am ready to pop. Nope, nearly 3 months left. I am definitely feeling tired and sleeping for longer patches as my body needs. As much as I hate to do it, I need to add some more items to my wardrobe. Uggh. Made a big trip to Babies R Us yesterday and got lots of essentials (burp clothes, receiving blankets, etc.). I suppose we still need this and that, but by and large, I think we could welcome a child to the house relatively soon. Megan is being a dear and lending much of what she has and returning the items we lent her. Aside from a high chair and changing table, I think we're in pretty good shape with the big stuff. Putting myself to sleep with my droll recounting. I know I'll appreciate it later to have notes about Quinn. Wish I had the spirit and spunk to write with more voice and personality, though. Such is life:)

Motherly Musings

So Quinn now knows that he has a sibling on the way. After a couple asking him what he thought was in Mommy’s tummy and hearing his marvelously creative responses, “Dinosaurs” one day and on the next, “alligators”, I felt ready to share the news. When he was told, he was curious and wanted to see inside Mommy’s belly and noted that he couldn’t see him, which we corrected to her. He felt Mom’s belly and I think we timed we so that he might feel her kick. Showing him pictures of the ultrasound turned out to be scary to him rather than interesting, but to be fair, ultrasounds have a certain creep element to them, even to parents☺ He liked the one of her foot though because that was familiar and not terribly shaded. Quinn is all about when things are scary. Going upstairs alone can be scary and the same for heading downstairs solo. He doesn’t like timeouts because they can be scary. I suppose it’s natural that he should be fearful of some things, even as he likes to chase and seek out pretend monsters and mean robots with Luke and I on a regular basis. Last night we read the baby book to him that has all the flaps where he can see the baby inside the Mommy animals’ tummy. He liked it enough to ask for it twice. We worked hard to get bedtime moved up this week and did a much better job with our start times, I think. He still wants to get up and have his waffle after all of the stories are read, but then he’s pretty content to come back to bed where I am already slumbering and put himself to sleep. He’s been keeping himself company with his toy story flashlight, which stays on most of the night☺ This morning we both said good morning to the baby and he kissed my belly for me, when we noted that I couldn’t get me head to my belly. This morning I am taking the three hour gestational diabetes test and we actually got going early enough to make the 8:30 appt. I told Quinn in the car that we needed to first drop Mommy off at the doctor and then Quinn would go on to school. Interestingly, a minute or so later, Quinn reported that he had a tummy ache and needed to go to the doctor himself Sweet, funny boy. Quinn was adorable last night as he pretended to be a storm trooper and wearing a helmet meant pulling up the hood on his grinch sweatshirt. The boy is going to need more hooded sweatshirts to honor this costume bent. Last week he was all about being the officer and making sure that he had all the elements of the officer on the box. He is freaking adorable in the whole get up. Lately, we have also been building houses out of the pillows in the big bedroom. He likes to build walls and have a roof. Last night we had a very ornate sheet hanging from parts of the closet and blinds. We continue to work on the whine that appears now and then when Quinn feels helpless. We try to acknowledge that he doesn’t need to whine and can ask for things in a different tone. We’ll see how out reinforcement of this message pays off in the long run. Lightsaber battles continue to be a part of our world at home and Quinn is now using his lightsabers to open up walls and floors so we have passage to other places. He instructs us to jump once he has the hole made. He’s been all about Clone Wars lately and not interested in the original movies, which is ok, I suppose. Our son can quote moments from Phineus and Ferb pretty perfectly, with excellent tone and timing. He has also taken to quite regularly using his hands in gestures to explain himself. I love it. Only 12 more minutes until the last blood draw. Thank goodness. I oddly don’t feel hungry, but I’m exhausted as my body tries to process all of this pure sugar. I never drink that much sugar and it was quite gross☹ Here’s hoping I pass though. I weighed myself and I think I did well in NOT gaining this week, which is a plus. I focused strongly on my diet this week and taking vitamins. Hopefully in coming weeks I’ll get some light stretching and exercise in. Tonight Luke and I are off to visit Bobbi and the baby in Waconia while Quinn chills with Grandma. Tomorrow I have a playdate with Megan and Dylan and then on Sunday we have the Blast with ECC kids. I need to do my taxes and then agonize over how to save the money and spend it on what needs to be purchased for baby and family before #2 arrives. I’ve found some girl clothes I like at both the Gap and Gymboree which is heartening, but expensive☺ I’ll check out Children’s Place too, since they’re reasonable. I just hate to dress her in things that make her look like something out of a tacky easter basket. Life with a student teacher is fascinating. I am learning new things about myself and also about who I think I am as a teacher. I want to be a better pedagogue and will strive to teach strong for the two weeks of the term when I have the kids full-time. Hopefully I can set the bar high for him☺

For as long as I can remember, I've been a picky shopper. I knew within a few moments of being in a store if I liked something or if I could move on. Today, after the ultrasound for Baby #2, we stopped by the Carter's store in the neighborhood. You'd think that after seeing images of my daughter to be I'd be itching to shop and you'd be right, except that 95% of what I saw made me want to hurl. Most outfits for girls look like a lollipop wrapper or odd scrapbook paper set. Uggh. I found one cute outfit for Christmas- a shirt and pant set- on clearance, but otherwise, I passed on everything there. For some reason, girl clothes seem all (or nearly all) designed for the girls to go out on the town. Why can't there be a happy and pleasant medium?

On a good note, all of baby #2 parts are doing well and there's no sign of the two vessel cord affecting anything. This Friday I have to redo my gestational diabetes test after fasting-- uggh.

When asked what he thinks is in my stomach Quinn has responded with his two answers: dinosaurs and alligators. Lovely. Funny.

Today was pajama day at school. We forgot, but fortunately, Quinn had a sweatsuit there to wear and he contentedly referred to them as his jammies. Sweet kid. He ran to the car from school today with his friend ND. We ran into McCall's Mom at the lot too and got the word that McCall's birthday party will be February 28th. Sweet friends.

If my son grows up to be like some of the slackers in my classroom, I think I might abandon teaching, take up online gaming full-time and... uggh.

I just spent some time perusing the Wiki where my students are composing a script for next term and the findings were sad. Yes, some of the kids have done exceptional work. Some have done average work and some have done none at all. And, I'm pissed. Pissed because I will probably hear all the drama about why some people haven't finished their required work-- and pissed because it's not substantive enough to really excuse the tardiness. Most of all, I find that the student who CARES about this the most, has done the least amount of work.

Please, let Quinn be a genuine, hardworking, above board kind of person-- and student. Let him not cloud his mind with all of the reasons he couldn't get things done and instead, be stricken with clarity about his life and abilities because he gets shit done. For the love...

It's fascinating to me to see myself through my student teacher's eyes. I realize that I have short comings and things to tighten up in my teaching, but I also note that my expectations for students have not fallen in the 11 years I've taught and I'm glad for that. My level of disappointment in kids and their poor choices may have spiked, but generally, I can keep an open mind about kid's potential and all of that. But this--- when they fail to complete a task that people are counting on-- a script for people to perform-- it makes me angry. Very angry.

But, for now, I have to breathe. I have the fancy ultrasound this morning and then I'll head back to school for the reaming. Uggh.